Hi :) It's a long one!

[bella123456]

Originally Posted by Beodude123

Our friend that is going to be included in our relationship is very respectful of our wants and needs, and I have a lot of trust in him. I'm sure it helps that we were friends before he even met Jen, so we have a mutual respect for each other.

Jen gave me some reading material, so if I don't post much, it's probably because I'm reading!

I'd just to comment on how much I like seeing the word "respect" being used.
A great starting point - good luck to you all !

[Beodude123]

I think the biggest thing that I need to remember in this transition in my life, is that I love Jen the person. After seven years, we have grown together very well. We have adapted to many different situations, and have always been on the same page (more or less).

That being said, if Jen decides that she is poly, I need to adapt to the situation, and overcome the things I feel. Ultimately my goal in life is to keep Jen happy. If being with my friend makes her that much happier, be it with him, with me, or both... Then that is what makes me happy.

The amount of intimacy we've had in the last week has been amazing. We've talked about very deep things more than we ever have in our relationship. I think focusing on points like that will help me to get through this situation.


I don't know if I'm poly. I'm probably mono. I feel completely satisfied emotionally and physically by Jen. The situation has never come up that a female could be let into our family, so who knows?

[Carma]

I'm pretty new here (started a mfm poly triad on 10/10/10) but I just wanted to say I love what you have written, you sound like a great couple and the three of us have felt many of the things you say you are feeling. It's been a fantastic journey for the three of us, although yes at times very hard. I wish you so much luck and so much love! I am so glad to have found this forum as well!

[JenAgain]

Thank you for the positive thoughts! They are much appreciated, and make us feel even more confident in the strength of our relationship.

We did have our friend over again last night and all discussed. I'm going to start a log in Life Stories section

[TruckerPete]

You guys sound really together. Congratulations on starting your journey from a place of love, respect, and integrity; you're already ahead!

Hubs and I experienced a similar honeymoon period when we opened our relationship. I was so happy to be able to be myself, and couldn't believe there was someone so accepting of me. Big communication boost, for sure!

If your experience follows ours, the next phase will be exhausting. You'll need to constantly communicate with everyone. They might all be good productive conversations, but it will still be draining.

Best of luck to all three of you! This poly rabbit hole is interesting, for sure.

[Ithink]

We have been down your path many years ago. I look with envy upon your journey because, for us anyways, it was incredible how much we came to understand about ourselves, each other, our partner and even the world around us.
The common saying is that the first three rules of real estate are Location, Location, Location.
I like to say the first three rules of Poly (actually ANY relationship) are Communication, Communication, Communication!
My wife and I have said many times since becoming Poly that if NOTHING else ever came from our life change that we still have a huge benefit from all the communication that we have done over the past number of years.
I have said many times that there is no such thing as jealousy. Jealousy is simply fear. Fear of what will happen, what could happen, will he/she/they still love me, will I still love her/him/them? Open, honest communication will kill that emotion dead imho.
Finally, we firmly believe that Love is not a finite thing. Human beings simply expand the amount of Love they feel to encompass those that are giving them Love. If we are capable of loving multiple parents, siblings, children, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins then why wouldn't we be capable of loving more than one partner?
Enjoy your journey, we did.
IThink.