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  #21  
Old 10-09-2013, 01:55 PM
Indygirl78 Indygirl78 is offline
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It is up to her to decide ultimately and she doesn't need anyone here making her feel any worse about a difficult decision. Emotions are currently very raw in this situation, can we try to be more supportive? She has stated her feelings and no matter what anyone else thinks they are hers alone.

I do agree, Belle, that if you have cancelled twice and already know the pain caused in the aftermath of abortion, then I think your heart is trying to communicate with you. The suggestion of saying its a surrogacy if you don't want to explain an adoption to those outside your marriage may be the best bet here.
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  #22  
Old 10-11-2013, 05:38 PM
RickX RickX is offline
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Just to share my situation which is quite opposite from OP's. I'm male and in a V with a married couple (they have 1 child). My gf and I agreed that if ever our relationship will result in a pregnancy (either unplanned or planned), the child will be recognized as their own. She will not be interested in knowing the paternity. According to her, my metamour agreed to it. I somewhat resent it because I wish to be a father someday, but nothing is permanent. Her mind could still change in the future.
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  #23  
Old 10-11-2013, 06:06 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RickX View Post
Just to share my situation which is quite opposite from OP's. I'm male and in a V with a married couple (they have 1 child). My gf and I agreed that if ever our relationship will result in a pregnancy (either unplanned or planned), the child will be recognized as their own. She will not be interested in knowing the paternity. According to her, my metamour agreed to it. I somewhat resent it because I wish to be a father someday, but nothing is permanent. Her mind could still change in the future.
Her husband agreed but what about you? This is a classic case of couple privilege where they made a plan about your relationship without even your input, but you seem to be passively accepting it so...what do I know?

The only things to suggest is 1) Take contraception into your own hands, make sure you use condoms since you want children one day you can't have the snip and 2) Do not rely on her one day changing her mind and 3) Make sure she accepts that when you want a primary relationship for yourself in which you will be able to happily create children and raise them AS THEIR FATHER, which is your right and if she is unwilling to be open to that, say goodbye.

Bloody cheek....
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