Military folk

[swingers]

love the "boys club" comment. That is very true. so much peer pressure, it is actually encouraged under the radar some times. but if you get caught obvisously it is both adultery and a GO 1B violation. i keep on thinking to my self that there should be an armed forces exclusive dating sight, that is open to alll walks of life. but it would probably be a violation of a couple DOD policies and be shut down. there was a myspace page "iraqbangbuddies" but that turned out to be just guys looking for guys, nothing much els.

was thinking of a way of negating the "Adultery" word with a written contract that the DOD would acknowledge stating that both parties in the married relationship concent to other sexual partners. but that is such a long shot i dont see it happening unless non-monogomy within mainstream marrage is more popular and widly accepted.

[transitapparent]

I have seen the cheating first hand. I personally have never seen anyone egg someone else on, nor have I ever been egged on. I won't say that it happens. it's just never happened around me.

the cheating happens on the spouse end too tho. I've seen many a navy wife go from the pier to the bar and take someone home with them.

pre and post deployments are hard. you have a lot of things to do before you go. it's hard on both parties. coming back, both parties have been completely independent in everything they do for several months and it takes time to get back to normal.

I'm not so sure I see poly as a completely valid approach though. I'm sure I could have found a loving relationship when I was in Italy back in 03 but I'm sure hearts would be broken when it was time to go home and I haven't been back since. maybe a fwb or maybe just the agreement between husband and wife that non mongamy is fair game.

[Minxxa]

For some reason in the U.S. Navy, at least around here the only way someone would get prosecuted for cheating is if the spouse presses it HARD, or if there are a ton of other things and they're trying to get them out. I never see it happen around here.

And by no means meant to imply it's only the guys. A LOT of cheating on the women's end. But then there's a lot of immaturity, too. Lots of young girls who have never been away from home and suddenly they're alone, in the house with money and other young wives and can do whatever they want. Recipe for disaster, LOL.

And if a guy really didn't want to cheat I believe the guys aren't going to try to make him.

[swingers]

Originally Posted by Minxxa

And if a guy really didn't want to cheat I believe the guys aren't going to try to make him.

lol, very true. thoes that are strongly faithfull have nothing to wory about, i agree. but i guess its the "boys club" factor also...

before we got married, and after we got married during my first deployment, i would have eyes only for my wife. she took this hard to believe that i ... A MAN... wouldnt check out other women. but for the longest time i didnt. it wasnt a personal choice or a concious thought... i just saw them as another human being, thats it (except for the objectification of women in pornography, of course) but when it came to working with women or passing one on the side walk it was not the hilight of my day. but when i was walking with some of the other guys in my unit all of a sudden the conversation would scease and i would be the only person talking. when i realized noone was paying attention to me i realized they were stearing at some woman captain's ass taht was walking infrunt of us. i just ignore it and went about my own mental thoughts untill the conversation resumed.

after we started talking about swining, and now poly, i do see myself checking out women only a little bit. hell she does it more than i do, pointing out a lady she sees as attractive at the mall so on and so forth. but for me, it is still a concious thought i half to force myself to focus on women. a fellow swining soldier once told me that i have no "radar" which i found is compleatly true. but my wife refuses to believe it.