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  #21  
Old 10-05-2013, 11:42 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Sorry the break-up turned out to be a mess. Can't always be helped, especially when an unexpected drama is added to the machine.

If it didn't hurt, you'd have to wonder if you were human. Just do the best you can with the hand you've been dealt.

Hope to hear more from you as time goes on (and perhaps as the heat and smoke clear).

With kind regards,
Kevin T.
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  #22  
Old 10-05-2013, 11:46 PM
GreenAcres GreenAcres is offline
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Default Thanks!

Thanks, Kevin, for the kind words. I suppose I had hoped magic would happen and it would work out. It is honestly probably a silver lining that this happened, because it removed any vestiges of that idea from my head. Given where things stand, it'll be less stressful overall.

You'll definitely be hearing from me more! I always tend to spend some time getting to know boards before jumping in and posting over much, just to get the tone of things. So far, I've really enjoyed what I've read here, and the conversations have bouyed my hopes that there are sane people out there So, I am not going anywhere, just dipping my toes in slowly.
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  #23  
Old 10-06-2013, 12:05 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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... Well, keep on dipping, lurking, whatever you need to get comfortable and find your sea legs with us. I've never found a perfect forum, but this is one of the better ones. Tap into whatever boards, threads, and posts you find helpful. If you start a thread or anything, leave me a link to it here on this thread and I'll follow along.

Yeah, I guess sometimes it's better to have a clean break, even if it hurts a little more. Hang tough; I believe you'll be okay with time and opportunity.
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  #24  
Old 10-07-2013, 01:20 AM
GreenAcres GreenAcres is offline
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Default Ugh

So, this is me just here to find a hug or three.

Today went SPECTACULARLY badly. (There are logistics to our breakup even though we weren't living together, and we're currently dealing with them).

I am incredibly hurt. I knew there wasn't parity between the relationships (which, of course, was the problem), but today...just, wow. Essentially, in a last-ditch to save the relationship, I was asked to step back from being serious, accept secondary (or, preferably, less) status, give up my lifestyle for hers...the list goes on. Oh, and to not resent it. It was put somewhat more nicely than that, sort of, by being put in such a way that it seemed like it was being offered to me because I was just so special that he didn't want to lose me and was doing everything he could to keep us together, and wanted to honor his commitment to she an I both (he'd asked me to marry him--again, not legally, but as legal as we could make it).

Seriously, I feel like I've been kicked in the gut. Twice.
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  #25  
Old 10-07-2013, 01:24 AM
pulliman pulliman is offline
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I am so very sorry that it has gone like this. It sounds like they aren't respecting your essential humanity, in the sense of not feeling compassion and empathy for what you might feel. I'm sad for you.

You know, for X amount of time (15 minutes, 15 hours, but probably not 15 days), you should feel free to blow your stack and say everything you want to say, as loudly as you want to say it. Things like this hurt - really hurt.

Your gut will heal, I expect. But right now, it doesn't feel good, and those bruises last.
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  #26  
Old 10-07-2013, 01:35 AM
GreenAcres GreenAcres is offline
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Default Appreciate it

Thanks, Pulliman.

I knew she had no empathy or compassion, but I'd thought he did. I don't know if he's just so distraught he's being a total fucking idiot about what he is saying, or if I was just completely taken in.

And, I'll definitely take your advice. It will have to wait, but it will happen. I need a good vent.
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  #27  
Old 10-07-2013, 04:37 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Hugs incoming ... careful hugs, so as not to hurt the bruising from the kicks in the gut.

Sounds like Hubby's taking dictation from Wifey, plopping his head in the sand and pretending all is well. Hey, so you'd have to screw yourself for the rest of your life. That's okay as long as he gets to keep you and still make his Wifey happy, right?

There is a silver lining to this cloud. You are becoming free to move on to better, healthier relationships. Just sucks that those are far away and on the other side of a sea of twisted wreckage.

Get yourself untangled from those two as soon as possible. Let them find another porcelain doll to play with.
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  #28  
Old 10-08-2013, 01:59 AM
Indygirl78 Indygirl78 is offline
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I'm sorry to hear that you had to end your relationship with him. I fully sympathize with dealing with a difficult and jealous metamour. Though my situation is very different I understand how hard it must be for you. {{{hugs}}}
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  #29  
Old 10-13-2013, 06:01 PM
GreenAcres GreenAcres is offline
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Default totally over

Done.

So hurt I want to vomit.

I know it would never have worked, but it still hurts like hell.
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  #30  
Old 10-13-2013, 08:28 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Not glad that you're suffering, but glad that you're finally free of a dysfunctional situation. Pull out that barf bag, and puke your guts out. Get the poison out of your system. Then, the healing process can begin.

With much sympathy,
Kevin T.
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