Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-06-2013, 04:09 AM
ColorsWolf's Avatar
ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA, U.S.A.
Posts: 362
Question Jealousy, Monogamy, Travel, and Foreign?~

I really apologize if this question has been specifically asked before, but I did not seem to have found any thing on this forum about this subject in this specific form.~

I am new to this whole 'dating' thing and I will soon be starting a life full of joyful chaotic nomadic traveling where I will be going to many different countries, experiencing many different cultures, meeting many different people, seeing many wonderful new things, and so much more!~

I am a United States of America Navy Sailor and I have yet to begin basic training.~ My life for the next 8 years will be rather interesting to say the least.~ I will be an Airman E-3 and/or a Seaman E-3 in rate after I graduate from basic training. A rate is something that not only includes how much you get paid in money, but also how many responsibilities you have as well.

My chosen MOS or Military Occupation Specialty that's another way of saying "job" will be Aerographer's Mate or AG for short.~ An Aerographer's Mate is an expert trained in meteorology and oceanography, in smaller words I study the sky, the weather, the ocean, and how they all relate together.~ I've always found watching the clouds and ocean to be interesting, now I get to study them yay!~ ^_^

As a Navy man, I will most likely be working on a ship or more and that could take me any where on this planet.~

My question really isn't a general question about jealousy or monogamy, but more of a question that has to do specifically with traveling and foreign people.~


As some one who is of the mindset where I do not want to get married, I do not drink alcohol, I do not smoke anything and I find smoking in general nauseating, I do not accept the concept of "pets" only livestock and other such creatures, I do not like the idea of living in one place for long periods of time,

I do hope to raise children one day but not right now or within the next 10 years nor do I mind if it never happens, and as someone who has almost an entirely alien way of seeing love:

how different are foreign people,

I hear that many countries outside the United States still live somewhat in a 'older age' is this true and do many still cling to their old 'traditionalist' values without willingness to change,

would they see me and my way of seeing things as strange idiotic or even crazy,

is it hard to find someone who is of an open-mind especially among foreigners,

what countries where would I most likely find more 'open-minded' people,

are there many people in this world who are of the 'nomad' mindset or at least open to it or do most people want to settle down and even if they say they don't do they 'eventually want to settle down' as they may change but I might not,

is jealousy a HUGE problem especially with foreign people of a different culture because I have heard some horror stories,

or my worst fear would foreign people misunderstand me or worse use me to mean that I am nothing more than some one who is looking for a 'fling' or nothing similar to love?~

Last edited by ColorsWolf; 09-06-2013 at 04:13 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 09-06-2013, 10:57 AM
Emm's Avatar
Emm Emm is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 705
Default

So there are Americans and "foreign people", all of whom feel, think, and act identically? How astonishingly insular.

Edit: As someone who has spent the last 16 years working for an organisation similar to the one you're about to join but with a different flag, I think you're getting ahead of yourself if you think you'll be developing any form of long-lasting relationship with people you meet while travelling the world with 200+ of your nearest and dearest. Generally you'll find that you're in foreign ports for only a few days at a time, and very rarely will you visit the same place twice. The chance of striking up anything beyond the most casual of relationships with a local is pretty much nil.

Last edited by Emm; 09-06-2013 at 11:14 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-06-2013, 01:53 PM
ColorsWolf's Avatar
ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA, U.S.A.
Posts: 362
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emm View Post
So there are Americans and "foreign people", all of whom feel, think, and act identically? How astonishingly insular.

Edit: As someone who has spent the last 16 years working for an organisation similar to the one you're about to join but with a different flag, I think you're getting ahead of yourself if you think you'll be developing any form of long-lasting relationship with people you meet while travelling the world with 200+ of your nearest and dearest. Generally you'll find that you're in foreign ports for only a few days at a time, and very rarely will you visit the same place twice. The chance of striking up anything beyond the most casual of relationships with a local is pretty much nil.
Mmmk, that answers almost none of my questions what so ever, but thanks for the input!~ ^_^

Apparently either you think or you think that I think that all Americans and foreigners are similar, if it is the latter and not the former then you made these assumptions entirely on your own.~ I am actually indicting the opposite of insular since I am expressing interest in learning about other kinds of people and cultures not of my own.~ That is why I ask these questions.~ So I have no idea how you jumped to such conclusions.~

Although you did make it a point to include an "edit:" part in your post, so I suppose you caught yourself in this and are trying to apologize in a round-about way.~ In which case, yes I accept your apology!~ ^_^

Although if you meant the "ignorant" part of the definition of "insular", then you are correct I am rather very ignorant of such things, but again that is why I am asking these questions.~ ^_^

Last edited by ColorsWolf; 09-06-2013 at 02:05 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 09-06-2013, 11:32 PM
Emm's Avatar
Emm Emm is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 705
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ColorsWolf View Post
Apparently either you think or you think that I think that all Americans and foreigners are similar, if it is the latter and not the former then you made these assumptions entirely on your own.~ I am actually indicting the opposite of insular since I am expressing interest in learning about other kinds of people and cultures not of my own.~ That is why I ask these questions.~ So I have no idea how you jumped to such conclusions.~
You have expressed no interest in learning about "other cultures". You have lumped everyone outside the borders of your home country into one backwards traditionalist blob and asked to learn about that blob. That blob is a product entirely of your own imagination, it has no culture to learn about. If you had asked about a particular country or a particular area then you might not have sounded so utterly insulting toward everywhere outside the US.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ColorsWolf View Post
Although you did make it a point to include an "edit:" part in your post, so I suppose you caught yourself in this and are trying to apologize in a round-about way.~ In which case, yes I accept your apology!
No. In my edit I was offering 16 years of naval experience to tell you why you will likely find yourself disappointed if you expect to build lasting relationships with people you meet while deployed. Any apology you read into it was not intended.

Last edited by Emm; 09-06-2013 at 11:41 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 09-06-2013, 11:53 PM
ColorsWolf's Avatar
ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA, U.S.A.
Posts: 362
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emm View Post
You have expressed no interest in learning about "other cultures". You have lumped everyone outside the borders of your home country into one backwards traditionalist blob and asked to learn about that blob. That blob is a product entirely of your own imagination, it has no culture to learn about. If you had asked about a particular country or a particular area then you might not have sounded so utterly insulting toward everywhere outside the US.

No. In my edit I was offering 16 years of naval experience to tell you why you will likely find yourself disappointed if you expect to build lasting relationships with people you meet while deployed. Any apology you read into it was not intended.
My questions were more in general about what is it like outside the United States or on this planet in general, it was never meant to be a specific series of questions with expected specific answers.~

I am only asking what each and every person who has had experience in this sort of general area of questions' subjects experiences were and any advice they could give to a novice to sea travel such as myself.

You have done this and I am grateful: thank you for the advice, it was very insightful!~ ^_^

I never meant to make it appear as if I was lumping all foreign people together as I tried to distinguish my questions accordingly, I meant SOME people from SOME countries that I have no idea the origin of.~ ^_^

But ultimately no matter what I intended my series of questions to mean, I can not change your interpretation of them nor your continued interpretation of them, that is some thing from you.~ ^_^

Last edited by ColorsWolf; 09-07-2013 at 12:06 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 09-07-2013, 01:19 AM
ColorsWolf's Avatar
ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA, U.S.A.
Posts: 362
Default

Are there many people in this world who are of the 'nomad' mindset or at least open to it or do most people want to 'settle down' and even if they say they don't do they 'eventually want to settle down' as they may change but I might not?

I guess in a nutshell, this is one of my greatest questions: do most people want to 'settle down' or 'eventually want to'? Are there no more swashbuckeling adventurers left in this world who never want to settle down?~
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 09-07-2013, 02:51 AM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 114
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ColorsWolf View Post
Are there many people in this world who are of the 'nomad' mindset or at least open to it or do most people want to 'settle down' and even if they say they don't do they 'eventually want to settle down' as they may change but I might not?

I guess in a nutshell, this is one of my greatest questions: do most people want to 'settle down' or 'eventually want to'? Are there no more swashbuckeling adventurers left in this world who never want to settle down?~
Without taking a census it's impossible to answer the question. Perhaps if you're asking at a personal 'you' level it makes more sense.

My thought: There's more than one kind of adventurer in the world these days. Technology has made mental adventurers of many, and has reinforced the isolation of others (who probably wouldn't have left the village in ancient times anyway). Many people don't allow their minds to exit their own sphere of visual awareness(and are quite content), others spend their days dreaming of different places, cultures, and identities. And perhaps a few just want to experience some of the awe and majesty of feeling alive by throwing caution to the wind and roaming each and every day. Those people, usually lacking resources, are probably not online to answer your post.

Settling down is a necessity if a society is to continue. Without people doing that, roads to roam on wouldn't exist.

Last edited by monkeystyle; 09-07-2013 at 03:43 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 09-07-2013, 04:23 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,094
Default

Do you know how many people live on this planet? And you want us to summarize what you might run into? We don't know where you're heading. And your asking if "foreigners," people outside the US, are as old-fashioned and backward as you've heard... this mindset is why we get called "ugly Americans." Sheesh, have you ever even read a history book, learned about other cultures, read a periodical that was published in a country other than your own (such as The Economist), listened to BBC radio, or opened up your mind a little? If not, you should start!

You have said you have little to no experience in relationships, and it seems you've led a sheltered life. I think you should focus on your basic training, your job in the Navy, and staying alive. Let the maturity that will come from that guide you in relationships in the future.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 09-07-2013, 05:09 AM
ColorsWolf's Avatar
ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA, U.S.A.
Posts: 362
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Do you know how many people live on this planet? And you want us to summarize what you might run into? We don't know where you're heading. And your asking if "foreigners," people outside the US, are as old-fashioned and backward as you've heard... this mindset is why we get called "ugly Americans." Sheesh, have you ever even read a history book, learned about other cultures, read a periodical that was published in a country other than your own (such as The Economist), listened to BBC radio, or opened up your mind a little? If not, you should start!

You have said you have little to no experience in relationships, and it seems you've led a sheltered life. I think you should focus on your basic training, your job in the Navy, and staying alive. Let the maturity that will come from that guide you in relationships in the future.
Thank you for this wonderful advice, you to monkeystyle!~ ^_^

You are all right, I am like a new born, yes I have read, and heard, and watched all kinds of educational programs concerning everything outside the United States, but I have rarely ever been outside my own houses over the years and I've never stepped foot outside of the U.S.A.~

Perhaps the words you all speak are very wise, worrying and thinking too much over these questions and asking for answers in places where they are not found is not going to help me much.~ You are all RIGHT, the best way to learn about some thing is to EXPERIENCE IT and I will do just that!~ ^_^

Thank you!~ Thank you all for all such wise words of wisdom!~ ^_^
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 09-07-2013, 08:16 AM
Cleo Cleo is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 414
Default

Where ever you go on this planet - there will be ignorant, scared, narrow-minded people.

Where ever you go on this planet - there will be wise, brave, open-minded people.

Where ever you go on this planet, there will be people who are a little bit of all these things - depending on their stage in life, things they've just experienced, etc.

Go out and explore and see for yourself!

(And stop thinking of people from other countries as 'foreign'.)
__________________
early forties, straight.
the guys: Ren - husband; Curlz - bf of 2 years, Brig - bf of 7 months; Knight - non-sexual bf; MrBrown - it's complicated
Ren's girls: Lou - gf of 2 years, Liz - very new gf
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
foreign, jealousy, monogamy, travel

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:15 PM.