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Old 11-22-2013, 08:48 AM
PhilosophicallyLost's Avatar
PhilosophicallyLost PhilosophicallyLost is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 47
Default Status update: Improvement

I have not posted in quite some time. A lot of changes have occurred in the last six months. I was struggling pretty significantly in June, but coming to the end of the year I am finding many more things to feel hopeful about.

Y and I bought a house and we have embarked on a new page in our life together. It was very challenging for E to be separated from me and still is to an extent. However, I have noticed some big improvements in my overall sense of being thanks to the changes the new living arrangement has brought:
1. Being an introvert, being in a place with only Y has given me far better opportunity to have time to myself. I am far less exhausted, and I am sleeping far better. For the first time in a long time I have been able to pursue introvert-geeky things such as gaming and writing! Super exciting.
2. I love E, but I finally have a clean home again. E just was horrible at picking up after himself, lol.
3. Y is in a much better place. He still has his moment of jealousy/loneliness, but they aren't as severe as they used to be.
4. Y and I were struggling with intimacy issues for a couple months, but he did really well last weekend with appealing to me intellectually in conversation. He also complimented me a few times, which was very unusual for him and very nice for me! I seem to be a, "Words of Appreciation" Love Language sort of gal. Amazing how simple little comments get me all giddy and happy! My love bucket has been much better with hubby since.
5. My relationship with E has been better on average in terms of my stress levels. When we are together I am fresh and much happier. I do note with some regret that he misses the hell out of living with me, though. He's hoping to get his own apartment soon so it's a bit easier for us to express ourselves. I hope that will help alleviate his separation anxiety some. I hope to spend the night here and there to help keep the relationship in a happy spot for E as well.
6. Overall I feel the balance is much better than it used to be.

There have still been challenges and drama, and I still have my struggles with being bitter at the inflexibilities of society. Still, E and I have gotten to know a couple people who have lived with alternative arrangements, and that has helped to have that perspective and support.

So yay for better times! W00t! (Plus I'm a stubborn person. I don't quit too easily. )
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Me: K, female, 27. Married to Y for over 4 yrs (male, monogamous, 33). Opened relationship to E (male, monogamous, 27) in a relationship vee.
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