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Old 09-11-2013, 09:44 PM
Jehuff Jehuff is offline
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Hello my wife and I are currently looking into poly we are not sure how we should go about things though. We want to bring another women into our lives but in the area where we live this lifestyle is frowned upon anyone have any advice?

My wife and I feel that our lives are not yet complete and are looking into a poly relationship only we do not know how to go about us getting started. We could really use some advice from someone who has been in this situation please all advice welcomed.

Last edited by nycindie; 09-12-2013 at 05:35 PM. Reason: merged from two duplicate threads
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Old 09-11-2013, 11:53 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Date separately...

Read.. read ... read.

Unless your marriage is flawless starting a relationship with someone else will highlight, heighten,and expand any flaw your marriage has.

This has been the hardest journey I have ever taken.
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Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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Old 09-12-2013, 12:46 AM
Jehuff Jehuff is offline
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We have talked about us bringing in another women into our life. We know we don't want to date different women. I guess what we are thinking about would be more towards triad if I am correct with the differences.
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Old 09-12-2013, 12:48 AM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Google... Unicorn hunter and couple privilege.

http://www.multiplematch.com/2012/11...ple-privilege/

http://davidlnoble.com/so-somebody-c...nicorn-hunter/
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.

Last edited by Dagferi; 09-12-2013 at 12:51 AM.
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Old 09-12-2013, 02:45 PM
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MsChristy MsChristy is offline
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I don't think there are many areas of the country where being poly isn't frowned upon. You can try online sites such as Ok Cupid to find someone. However, if you are newly getting involved with poly you may want to read up on it first so you will be better prepared since this sounds like uncharted territory.
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Old 09-12-2013, 03:05 PM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Jehuff - I am a newbie to the forum and poly itself, your desire to share a woman between you and your wife might be idealistic but in reality (you really should read some of the life stories and blog section as well as the links Dagferi gave you) from all that I've learned, it appears to not work 95% of the time (no statistic for that % but based on a sense of what I've been reading). When hub and I first read up on poly, we thought, wow a triad would be perfect for us (male or female) but a part of me kept thinking, but is that really where I want to start on this journey? After finding this forum, reading the second article, I realized NO WAY IN HELL is that what I really want.

I also discovered the communication that was evolving with this choice actually had to continue before we put ourselves out there. I highly recommend more talks with your wife, discussion of what needs you each have, whether either of you can fulfill them or not, and just not go blindly into this. Otherwise; based off of stories, you will fail.

Good luck and also a warning, don't try to control each other or the person you bring into your lives.
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