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  #21  
Old 09-08-2013, 07:25 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Dag-I think he meant the paintball activity to be "instead of leaving to be with a girlfriend" the problem of not doing his duty with the kids would still be the issue.

And

As I see it-
That is the issue.

Lets do it by the numbers:

You have a responsibility to put in a minimum of 12 hours a day with the twins. THeir mother has a responsibility to put in 12 hours a day with the twins.

These 12 hours are WAKING hours. They aren't including your time to sleep.
EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY DAY.

Any "playtime" or "additional relationships" (which happens to include private, quality time with your spouse) comes AFTER the babies responsibility.
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  #22  
Old 09-09-2013, 01:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Dag-I think he meant the paintball activity to be "instead of leaving to be with a girlfriend" the problem of not doing his duty with the kids would still be the issue.
Correcto.

Sorry for the confusion Dag. Girlfriend, paintball, fantasy football, hang gliding, whatever... they are all going to get trashed once a couple of newborns get thrown into the mix.
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  #23  
Old 09-09-2013, 04:51 AM
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Yes, yes they are. Hell-the parents of the newborns get trashed. I never had twins (thankfully). One at a time was enough to set back my relationship, all social activities, education etc. babies are exhausting and multiple newborns-exponential increase in exhaustion and stress.

How about-take your turn doing over nights with both ALONE. perspective alters when its you stuck.
Dh always bitched about me "not really needing a break"-until I left for 3 weeks and all of ours were able to walk, talk abd potty trained by then. Still-he was so overwhelmed he has NEVER questioned my need for a break since.
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  #24  
Old 09-09-2013, 04:53 AM
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Being fair is-both parents spend equal time caring for babies and equal time away from babies individually.
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  #25  
Old 09-09-2013, 05:51 PM
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Yeah everything goes out the window when kids are young..

I have only recently gotten some what of an adult life back.
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  #26  
Old 09-09-2013, 05:56 PM
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I wonder if the op is ever going to update /add to this post.
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  #27  
Old 09-09-2013, 06:32 PM
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I didnt read all the replies, but im going to just give you my experience. I love being with Nudge, i'd spend more night/overnights/weekends with him if i could, but i also really like to be with J AND our kids. I see nudge 2 to 3 times a week and I dont think anymore than that is fair to my family, it is important to me to spend evenings/weekends with J (and our children) and J and I dont like to spend more than two nights in a row seperately.

if YOU want a 50/50 split, that is something to determine your own need and speak to your partners. dont do it because one of them wants it and is putting that on you
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  #28  
Old 09-09-2013, 06:37 PM
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Kitten... This man has newborn twins at home. IMO his place is helping raising those babies. The girlfriend needs to settle for in house visits or the occasional lunch date. Mom deserves a break too.
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  #29  
Old 09-09-2013, 06:48 PM
gorgeouskitten gorgeouskitten is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
There is a huge difference between children and a hobby. Children do not ask to come into the world. The Op and his wife decided to have these little humans.
Thats what i get for not reading all the thread!! I agree with you, new born twins oy. I have a hard enough time schedule around our kids and the yare between 2-7, i dont htink i'd leave the hubs much or at all with a couple newborns
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  #30  
Old 09-09-2013, 06:50 PM
gorgeouskitten gorgeouskitten is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
I finally went to the OP profile and looked at the previous posts. So this is the same fellow who was STILL visiting his girlfriend several nights a week when his wife was IN THE HOSPITAL with the NEWBORN TWINS... correct?

As I see it, these are the options:
1. Tell the GF to learn to be extremely grateful for the time she gets with you
2. Tell the wife "I'm not into this 'kid thing' so lets separate, here's all of my money for the next 18 years"
Good luck!!
This. And i shall never post without reading again. lol
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