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  #231  
Old 03-28-2014, 01:49 AM
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Pictures uploaded to my album!
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  #232  
Old 03-28-2014, 07:13 PM
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Feeling out of sorts today. I think a lot of it is the change in the weather, and of course, not being on vacation anymore. I've decided to buy new furniture, so that has me stressed a little bit. I think I may have found a sofa & loveseat, but I need DarkKnight to take a look at it tonight.

Sigh. Missing both of my guys at the moment. PunkRock went back home until Sunday and DarkKnight is at work for another hour. I just want snuggles.

PunkRock and I had communication issues last night - we both went to bed sexually frustrated and I felt discounted and lonely. We are all sorted out now but it wasn't a good night for me. So I am tired somewhat today too.

I just listed a bunch of my homeschool supply stash up for grabs, and I am going to spend the next hour sorting and organizing the stuff I am keeping. I don't really want to do it, but I need my game table back so I can teach Chemistry on Monday. Right now, everything is piled all over the place on it.
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  #233  
Old 03-30-2014, 03:01 AM
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I have managed to get motivated and I have sorted out a bunch of stuff recently. My garage is now capable of holding two vehicles once again, and the room PunkRockAwesomesauce will be using is empty. The closet there is still packed, but it isn't as daunting a job as I had anticipated. I rehomed all of my daughter's homeschool stuff - it's now all tidy on a shelf, or I gave it away. I got lucky with a huge stack of it - one friend of mine wanted it all. My husband also moved out a bunch of his tuxedos and suits into what will be his bedroom. (Yes, he owns more than one tuxedo.) So yeah, go me!

PunkRock had some fun today looking at paint chips at Lowes and he wants me to go there with him tomorrow to give my opinion on his choices. It is exciting to know that he is anticipating and feeling positive about the move - he wants to paint his soon-to-be bedroom in the next couple of months. Tomorrow I am driving up to his place to help him clean out part of his storage area - since his room is now empty, he can keep and sort his boxes here before moving himself in completely.

I was sad this afternoon. DarkKnight had driven off to see a friend who was having computer troubles, and of course I am not seeing PunkRock until tomorrow. So I was home alone without either of my guys, and I was crazy horny. I tried to take a nap, but couldn't. I was frustrated about having to maybe masturbate alone, and that got me to thinking about my FWB guy, B. I missed him a teensy bit but the reality was that more than likely, even if I had messaged him, he wouldn't have been available. He was always unreliable due to being such a workaholic. Sigh. I didn't want him anyway, but my predicament of once again being horny with no options, except for going solo, brought me down.

I just felt really bummed once again for having such a high libido. I haven't felt that emotion since I started dating PunkRock, so it was most unwelcome. I understand it is unrealistic to expect to have every one of my sexual urges sated right away, but that understanding seems remote when I am craving my loves and no one is around. Not sure if I mentioned it, but PunkRock calls me Princess Sassypants. (!!!!!!!!) I certainly feel petulant right now, recounting this experience. Sigh. Anyway, I didn't, even for a second, seriously think about messaging B, but I did think about how shitty it was that once again, I have two loves and my needs are unmet. Now, overall, I do believe that my needs are being met so looking back, I was just being ridiculous. At the time though, I was sad, and hating myself for being so horny all the time.

At the moment though, that feeling has given way to anticipation, because I will be seeing PunkRockAwesomesauce once morning arrives. I am sure he will take full advantage of my cravings then.
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  #234  
Old 03-30-2014, 04:33 AM
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I suggest you consider changing your perspective on how you view solo sex - as if it is a booby prize! My goodness, loving yourself and pleasuring your own body doesn't have to be seen as a "second best" option at all. Yeah, I love-love-love penetration and the connection I get when I am with someone, for sure, but I am never disappointed to get myself off. Even if I am feeling deeply lonesome, I can turn that around by having sex with myself. Methinks you could benefit from reframing your mindset on that!
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  #235  
Old 03-30-2014, 07:43 AM
Tiberius Tiberius is offline
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I agree. Sex with youdself can be a wonderful thing. Don't view it as a consolation prize.
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  #236  
Old 03-30-2014, 03:13 PM
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Yeah, you are both right. It's just a mindset that I have from years of just having that, with a quickie once a month every once in a while. Don't misunderstand - I love having orgasms with the help of Mr. Buzzy. It's just that I start thinking, what if it goes back to being solo time, all the time? It's kind of soured me on masturbation.

That said, I just had amazing sex with PunkRockAwesomesauce. we were all over each other the second I arrived at his house. He told me that same thing - madturbation is good! fun! awesomesauce, even! To me it's just been everything I didn't want for so long though.
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  #237  
Old 04-02-2014, 12:31 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Thank you for sharing your story, I am very much enjoying it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluebird View Post
Pictures uploaded to my album!
I tried to look at your pics but for some reason couldn't get into the album (although it shows that you have 1 album with 5 pics).

Agree with the others on the advisability of re-framing your view of masturbation. Even when my boys are available I still enjoy some quick sessions with "my purple friend" here and there. Sometimes it's nice to just relieve the tension, or go to sleep, withOUT having to pay attention to someone else's experience. Just saying...
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SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
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  #238  
Old 04-02-2014, 01:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
I tried to look at your pics but for some reason couldn't get into the album (although it shows that you have 1 album with 5 pics).
She may have opted for the album to be accessible only to Contacts/Friends. If so, send a Friend Request & you'll be able to see it after you're accepted.
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  #239  
Old 04-02-2014, 12:08 PM
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I didn't realize that about the photos. Should be fixed now!
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  #240  
Old 04-06-2014, 02:12 AM
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Things are still really good here. DarkKnight took our daughter with him today to visit his parents, and they all ended up going to Hershey's Chocolate World in Pennsylvania. My son was at work though, so this left me COMPLETELY home alone this morning. The last time this happened was last September and the time before that was like 9 years ago. No joke - I am not often home completely alone. It got me feeling unsettled, but PunkRockAwesomesauce was coming over around noon, so I just went back to sleep until he was close by.

Interesting thing, my dad messaged me in the morning and asked how things were going wih PunkRock, and if our cats had met yet. My parents are weird. It was nice to get a neutral, if not positive comment out of a family member though.

My sister has been posting rude comments on my Facebook from time to time, but I have been deleting them and immediately calling her out on them. My brother posted a joking comment the other day in response to all I my FourSquare posts - "so PunkRock buys you food at restaurants and DarkKnight takes you shopping!" I commented saying that I had actually bought PunkRock lunch that day and DarkKnight had begrudgingly gone along to look at living room curtains. Not very glamorous! My brother's fiancée responded, telling my brother to "shove off." So yeah.

Last night DarkKnight and I had a sleepover, and we didn't have sex. He was a little teary, telling me he wasn't in the mood. I had to reassure him that it was ok - I didn't expect sex with him every time, as I never had. That I was perfectly fine just cuddling and falling asleep next to him. He wondered if it was ok to grab me during the day, if he had the urge then, even if PunkRockAwesomesauce was visiting. I told him a thousand times yes. So that is something we have had to work out, since PunkRock is over here so often now. It isn't as he is just a guest though he isn't living here yet.
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