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  #211  
Old 03-08-2014, 02:17 PM
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Bluebird Bluebird is offline
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Oh! DarkKnight wants me to copy his convo too. So, here it is:

Hubby - Hey Sis. Calm Yourself.

Hubby - Seriously. Why do you care? Your sister is happy and so am I. Nothing else matters.

Sis - How could u possibly b ok with some other man banging ur wife?

Hubby - Probably because she's happy and I'm not the jealous type.

Hubby - And it's not just about sex.

Sis - Thats the worst part

Hubby - What does that even mean?

Hubby - It is possible to love more than one person at a time, you know. People do it all the time.

Hubby - Not that you should really let it affect your life. Go about your business and let us go about ours. I promise I won't bother you with details with my sex life.

Sis - Well actuall I was feeling like an asshole

Sis - Only because i thoyght u were a great guy for my sister n shefucked this marriage up but hey if ur good with it then great

Hubby - Yeah, most people's reactions have started with a "poor DarkKnight". I find it kinda funny. I'm glad people care about me, but I hope they have a higher opinion of my wife than that suggests.

Sis - no it just dipped. Selfish is what I think

Sis - But hey who cares right

Hubby - Not really. selfish would have been to cheat on me. We talked about our needs first and I suggested an open marriage.

Hubby - So anyway, I hope I have alleviated at least some of your concerns. Our marriage is actually stronger than ever.

Sis - U have to sacrifice some needs for the sake of others. Its y u married.

Hubby - I don't know about you, but I married because I love your sister.

Sis - Well she obviously doesnt remember her vows

Hubby - She sure does. She wrote them after all. She laughs with me and cries with me, comforts me and supports me, loves me faithfully through good times and bad in spite of the obstacles we may face together.

Sis - Faithfully huh?

Hubby - yup. She's not cheating on me.

Sis - U guys have fun. Crazy asses, but its definitely not faithfully either.

Hubby - to me, faithfully means, that her love for me has never wavered. She has remained constant and dedicated. So she has room in her heart for someone else. It doesn't diminish her love for me, nor mine for hers.

Hubby - And yes, we have fun.

Hubby - I also concede that we are crazy asses, but not for the reasons you're thinking.

Hubby - And with that I must bid you adieu. Sleep beckons. Good night and fare thee well.
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  #212  
Old 03-08-2014, 04:19 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Wow, your sister is a bitch! But it sounds like she might start to see a positive side to it, and maybe be more accepting some day. I think you and DarkKnight handled it well.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #213  
Old 03-08-2014, 05:22 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Honestly, I would not have wasted that much of my time responding to that. You both handled it well. I would not worry about trying to make her see your POV. At best, respect her wishes as far as your nephew. I am not sure how much contact you have with him, though. Truth is, people will believe what they want and nothing you say will change it. If you are happy, keep doing you, honey.
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  #214  
Old 03-08-2014, 05:41 PM
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My extended family lives in NY, we live in Maryland. I love my nephew more than life itself - I was my sister's labor coach and I was the first one to see him and touch him. He is extremely intelligent and he messages me lots. He came down last summer and stayed for a week with is - we went white water rafting, camping and tubing.

My sister has pretty much raised her children ignorant of the real world, in my opinion. She doesn't want them to know that being gay is an option. When my nephew came down, he was really surprised when we explained that my daughter's best friend was a boy and that he was gay, and no one made fun of him or even cared much. He told us that in his school, that would not be a good thing. My sister was angry we even talked about it, but uh, it was unavoidable. We homeschool and the kid was over during the week, and no one would dream I telling him to pretend to be anything other than himself. My daughter's younger sister was adopted by two moms, and we also discussed how that was perfectly fine.

My sister JUST got married last week, after living with her boyfriend on and off for 15 years. He beats her all the time - she fights him back. I have called social services on them in the past because they fight and scream in front of the kids. To say that she thrives on drama is an understatement. She will use this as a weapon and stir up my mom like nothing doing.

There is a reason they are in NY and I am far away. I really don't want to lose my niece and nephews, but only the oldest is on Facebook and he certainly hasn't said anything yet. There is really nothing inappropriate at all on my page!
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  #215  
Old 03-08-2014, 08:12 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Wow. I always look at parents who do that kind of oddly because knowing about something will not prompt a child to try something or even desire whatever it is. Is your sister the type of person to keep your nephew from hanging around you for fear that you might have PunkRock around him or that he might see something she does not want him to see?

Your sister sounds dysfunctional and like she needs to handle her own affairs before butting into your business and life. She was all the way in Jamaica. She should have been enjoying her new husband and the sandy beaches. Not harassing you about what you are doing. I mean, seriously. Is what you are doing going to impede her life in any way? As far as your mum, I think she is already stirred up. (The communists and the President of the US? Hello!)

At the end of the day, your sister, mum, and entire family might not like what you are doing, but it is your life to live. Maybe they will come around. If not, oh well.
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  #216  
Old 03-08-2014, 09:50 PM
Octopus Octopus is offline
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"Wow, youve lost your marbles." - ~"No, I've just lost my monogamy."

That made me giggle. Awesome reply!

Sorry to hear your sister is being such a PITA. I think you're dealing with it very well.
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  #217  
Old 03-09-2014, 02:28 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Wow, your sister thinks it's okay for her kids to see her getting beat up & abused, but whatever you do, don't let them find out about gay people or polyamory. Crikey, how sad.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #218  
Old 03-09-2014, 08:28 PM
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DarkKnight told his parents today. He says it went better than he thought. Meaning, his mother has completely disowned me, but not him.

He told his dad first. He said his dad seemed open to talk about poly, though he didn't really understand why it would work for us. He said he thinks his dad would be willing to still attend events with PunkRockAwesomesauce there.

His mother though, no way. He said she was very indignant about what a gold digger I am, how she has always had me pegged, and what a terrible person I am. Sigh. DarkKnight says she told him he could move home with them. He said she would without hesitation pay for a divorce. He reassured both his parents multiple times that he is not looking to divorce, that our marriage is stronger than ever, but his mom would have none of it. She feels he is being taken advantage of, and he just doesn't realize it. She told him that when she dies, I am getting none of her money. They don't have any money anyway. But yeah, that isn't even an issue for me.
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  #219  
Old 03-12-2014, 12:48 AM
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The last few days have been good. PunkRockAwesomesauce has been staying over. The energy between us is amazeballs. I love waking up with him wrapped around me, and it's crazy that it has only been 5 weeks since we started dating. It feels like forever, in the most wonderful way.

Oh, and I injured him at some point this week! He has some small bruises on the head of his penis. I had forgotten that was even possible, but I actually did that once before to my ex-husband. My vaginasaur is all like, RAWR! Honestly, I don't know how I did it, but I did. He says it doesn't hurt though.

Today is my 8th anniversary with Dark Knight. He worked all day, so I was with PunkRockAwesomesauce until DarkKnight finished his shift. I really didn't want PunkRock to leave - we had SO much of a connection today, I felt. Just looking at him had energy crackling. That said, of course I wanted to spend time with DarkKnight tonight!

We went and had a really romantic dinner at a Mediterranean place - we were seated at a booth in the very back, and half the time, DarkKnight sat on the same side as me, being snugly. I had some terrible tasting Muscato, but the food was excellent. Afterward we went to the mall and walked around. I bought a cami, some bracelets and three new pairs of knee socks - one of which has storm troopers on them. DarkKnight got two new pairs of jeans, and he looks super sexy with them on! For a brief moment, we contemplated getting matching infinity symbol tattoos, but we didn't. I have tattoos already, but he doesn't, and he has always been hesitant. He told me he thought it might hurt PunkRockAwesomesauce's feelings, and maybe someday the three of us would get tattoos together. He quickly added that he'd be ok not getting one. Lol it really isn't his thing, but I could tell he was really tempted to do it tonight! We just got back home - without any new ink - so I thought I'd update here while I wait for our daughter to get to bed so we can get to bed.

DarkKnight and I met in Boston, so when we eloped, we went back to the city that meant so much to us. I wrote these vows to him:

You are the love of my life, my best friend, my soulmate, my everything. On this day, in front of these witnesses, I devote myself to you. I promise to love and respect you, to comfort and support you, to believe in and be proud of you. I promise to laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together.

I've learned from you that I don't have to be perfect to be loved, but you inspire me to be the best woman that I can be - for you, for me, and for us. I look forward to spending the rest of my life making you feel as happy and loved as you make me feel. From this day forward, I will be your wife.
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Last edited by Bluebird; 03-12-2014 at 05:24 AM.
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  #220  
Old 03-12-2014, 04:10 AM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Happy Anniversary to you and Dark Knight.
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