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  #201  
Old 03-07-2014, 03:05 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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LOL, just wondering what communists have to do with it!

Anyway, things like this always make me wonder why people aren't more diligent and careful about who can see what on Facebook. Only close friends can see my pics and other friends.
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  #202  
Old 03-07-2014, 03:10 AM
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The pic of us kissing is his cover photo. My mom said it was inappropriate. I told her that I have pics of DarkKnight and I kissing on my own page. The reply was that, yes, but he's your HUSBAND. So that makes it ok. I told her that PunkRockAwesomesauce is my boyfriend, so that makes it ok too.

Oh! Also, I need to live my life for Christ, NOT for myself.

DarkKnight said I should have told her that god came to me in a dream and said this was ok. Sigh.

Communists always have something to do with it. Obama is the reason I am poly, somehow. Feh!
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  #203  
Old 03-07-2014, 04:52 AM
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Well, for what it's worth, I simply LOVE how direct you are with your family. So many people forget that they can talk to family like the individuals they are, and that we don't have to tiptoe around them just because they're related to us.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #204  
Old 03-07-2014, 02:38 PM
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I am sorry you are going through this Bluebird.

But I will admit, their blaming communists and Obama made me laugh.

*hugs* My own son outed me to my judgmental family out of anger. (He is 20 now) Oh well either family accepts me or they don't.
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  #205  
Old 03-07-2014, 05:56 PM
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DarkKnight is planning to tell his parents this weekend. His main concern is to get through it without having to leave out of emotional overload. He told me he wants them to understand, above all, that he is happy, loved and that this was his idea - not something that I forced on him to accept.

I will not be in attendance. We talked today about how to bring it up. I told him that when they ask what I am doing, he could tell them that I am out with my friend, PunkRockAwesomesauce and then go from there.

DarkKnight has such a gentle nature, and his mom is a very strong personality. She had him in tears a couple weekends ago just because she was upset that I was out playin WarMachine, and he had to transport our daughter from a sleepover. Apparently that is my job, since I contribute nothing to our life otherwise.
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  #206  
Old 03-08-2014, 12:08 AM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Wow. The communists and the President of the United States are to blame? Okay! I am sorry you are having such a rough time. I hope it works out better with DarkKnight's mum and dad. His mum sounds like she may not take it well, but let's hope she is open-minded. I wish him well.
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  #207  
Old 03-08-2014, 12:27 AM
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I had a fun but busy day today and got to spend some much needed time with my husband. My sister did not call me, but my brother posted a pic of a condom on my facebook wall with the caption: Safe sex. Get married, stay faithful. This is somewhat hilarious, because he lives with his girlfriend and they are not married. He has not talked to me at all, so clearly he has heard gossip. I messaged him telling him to not post garbage on my wall, and if he was interested in something that wasn't hearsay, to call me, but he didn't. Radio silence from the rest of my family. This is good news, in my opinion. I don't want drama. I want to be left alone, for the most part!

PunkRockAwesomesauce is coming over tomorrow afternoon and will stay through the weekend. Originally DarkKnight and I were going to spend the day together tomorrow, running errands, but PunkRock misses me and I miss him. Plus, DarkKnight wants to learn how to play some Star Wars miniatures game, that PunkRock owns. So, he is coming over.
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  #208  
Old 03-08-2014, 12:45 AM
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I'm so sorry Bluebird. With "unconditional family love" like that who needs enemies huh? My favorite part was that your mom thought it was so awful she had to tell everyone she knows immediately. I would have told her, well you raised me so really this is your fault and the whole family knows it. But I know I'm awful, I just spent a week fantasizing about telling my dad about my second relationship whenever he finally gets around to admitting he's gotten engaged to the woman he left my mom for. He's chickened out twice already so I know he's worried about it. My brothers still aren't speaking to him though I have no idea how it affects them. I imagine it being so funny watching him become judgmental of my choices 5 seconds after I congratulate him.

I certainly hope your weekend improves!
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  #209  
Old 03-08-2014, 12:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluebird View Post
DarkKnight said I should have told her that god came to me in a dream and said this was ok. Sigh.
OK, spitting drink all over keyboard. Too funny! I'll have to tell that one to my brother, he'd get a kick out of it.

Quote:
Communists always have something to do with it. Obama is the reason I am poly, somehow. Feh!
OK, our parents must be related or maybe they just listen to the same radio shows.
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  #210  
Old 03-08-2014, 01:52 PM
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This was my status on Facebook last night: Ate food, wrote two Chemistry quiz retakes and gave one to my daughter - she scored 30 points higher than on the original - and then researched and bought some stuff online for my History of War co-op class next Thursday. I'm going to cover the different types of aircraft used in the battles. Hopefully the teens will find it interesting. I've spent the rest of the evening reading blogs and talking to PunkRockAwesomesauce on Facebook Messenger. I might go to sleep in a bit, so tomorrow gets here sooner.

My sister's comment: Im not comfortable with ur choices.please don't air ur business on Facebook cause my son doesn't need to know that shit

Yeeeeaaaaaah. My nephew is 14.

I deleted her comment and then sent her this message: I am not asking you to approve my choices, or my posts. I am not ashamed of my lifestyle, and it is a very common one in the US - more than you might think. There is never anything inappropriate on my Facebook, but if you are afraid that <nephew> might see something that is X-rated, you can have him unfriend me on here. That is your absolute right as a parent. But as an adult, I will not censor myself to pretend that someone I love very much does not exist. Especially since I spend half my time with <PunkRockAwesomesauce>. If either of you spent any time at all reading my page, you would have known waaaaaay before this.

Sis - That kind of lifestyle is one that my kids dont need to know about. It doesnt have to be xrated to be morally degrading to ur husband n ur family.

Me - That is where we disagree. It isn't degrading to anyone. No one, my husband or my kids feel that way.

Sis - Its selfish

Sis - Ur crazy if u think that

Me - Nope, not at all. It isn't selfish. It's actually very open. Selfishness would cause this type of lifestyle to fall apart very quickly.

Sis - Wow u have lost ur marbles.

Me - No, I've just lost monogamy.

Sis - Just because people do that it doesnt make it right

Me - Make it right? To who? God? You know I am not religious.

Sis - Not only religious but morally

Me - What is morally wrong? Based on who's morals?

Sis - Ur married

Me - Right.

Sis - Y get married

Me - Because I love my husband very much. I don't intend to get divorced.

Sis - I hope for your sake thats how it plays out, but i dont see <DarkKnight> accepting this forever

Me - Um, he SUGGESTED it.

Sis - what

Sis - He told u to get a boyfriend?

Me - yes.

Me - You are jumping to conclusions with out any facts.

Me - Making drama where there is none to be had.

Sis - Ur kidding right?

Me - no.

My sister then opened a dialogue with DarkKnight, who confirmed everything I said. She said she felt like an asshole, because she had thought I had done all this and had destroyed my marriage. DarkKnight said our marriage was as strong, if not stronger than it had ever been. Then, this:

Sis - Is DarkKnight gay?

Me - Ha! No, not at all.

Me - I am in a very very stable realtionship pattern called a Vee. He and PunkRock do not interact sexually with each other, or with me together. We have completely separate relationships.

Me - They will go out with me together, like shopping sometimes, or we have dinner together, or play trivia. Because they are friendly with each other.

Me - Morally, love is good.

Me - Listen, no one is asking you to practice poly. No one is asking you to approve of our choices. Because, well, you don't have that right. You can be judgmental, but you don't get to pass judgement on us. We're consenting adults, I am very much in love with two guys who treat me like I'm a princess. No one in my relationship is being harmed or hurt in any way. Nobody is being deceived or coerced.

Sis - If its right for u thats fine, but its not something i want to b around or my kids subject to

Me - There is nothing to be subjected to. I don't fuck my husband OR my boyfriend in front of my kids, or anyone's kids.

Me - It's easy to explain to kids. Some people love more than one person. Explanation over. It isn't rocket science.

Me - How do you explain gay marriage? Some people love the same sex of people. Explanation over.

Me - The explanation is simple. It doesn't need embellishment. Why? Because it is the truth. Some people are able to love more than one person. It doesn't hurt anyone else.

Me - I find it really interesting that someone who says they are liberal finds this morally reprehensible. Seriously think about what you are saying. I know you are shocked. But there really isn't any change in our relationship. I am around children everyday who know about my boyfriend, and nothing terrible has happened to any of them. Why? Because there is nothing going on that affects them! If anything, they get to see people who are happy, living happy lives. *shrugs*

Sis - Do u

Me - Live a happy life? Hell yes.

Me - There is little to no drama in my day-to-day life. Life is too short to be living it for someone else, or spending time pretending to be something you're not. I am happy being me. I am happy being loved.

Me - Every single one of my friends in real life know that I am poly. Most have met DarkKnight AND PunkRock. Some may question whether it would ever work for them, but none of them question that it works for us. They can see in person that it does.

Me - Anyway, it is almost 11. I have to get up tomorrow and do a million things. If you have any questions about how this works, I am very happy to answer them. It sounds like you figured out some stuff on your own that was absolutely wrong, so I hope you come to me first before believing your own ideas.

Sis - I'm all set

Me - I hope so, because it doesn't sound like it much.

She did have a long conversation with DarkKnight and he really wanted to strangle her. She really just wanted to pass judgement and not change her mind at all. We will see what happens this weekend. Sorry for posting the entire conversation, but I really wanted a record of it.
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Last edited by Bluebird; 03-08-2014 at 01:54 PM.
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