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  #11  
Old 09-06-2013, 07:59 PM
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Last night was incredible, and yes, tortuous. Still very, very wonderful. M told me he loved me several times, even though we both know we are in the throws of NRE. Neither of us care. He's pretty close to perfect so far. Things he considers negatives about himself are positives to me!

I will see him again tomorrow morning for the competitive Star Wars Trivia contest. We have a strong team of nerds, so we should do well. I had to blow off my sister in law's baby shower to attend, actually. The trivia was scheduled first and since I put together the team, I couldn't really cancel. Plus, I'd rather be with my friends than with women I don't know talking about a baby that isn't born yet. Plus, we have lived near my sister in law for almost 2 years and she's the only family member who hasn't come to our house once. I am not supposed to feel slighted by this. Whatever.

Back to being poly. I accidentally outed my status to a new friend yesterday, because she asked me why I was leaving a morning event early. I told her I had to go pick up my boyfriend. D'oh! Of course she knew I had a husband! She then gave me a first bump when I explained that we had an open relationship. Whew! I told her that only about half of our combined friend group knows, and to please be more discrete than I was. Lol she said she understood, women are judgmental. I think she's a keeper, but only time will tell.
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  #12  
Old 09-08-2013, 12:03 AM
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Well, we didn't win at trivia - we were in 2nd place, one point away from the win and then missed the last question. Lame! Still, fun was had by all.

I didn't have a lot of alone time with M, which I knew I wouldn't. It was nice though, sitting with my husband on one side, and M on the other, holding hands with both.

I did drive M home after, and we had time for some brief conversation. He is still anxious about his test results on Wednesday, but I am not stressing about those at all. We made another date - another overnight - for this coming Friday - and that'll be our first "all the way" sex session, if his results were clean. So we are both really looking forward to that, even though it has brought up a host of other issues.

I am still planning on getting an IUD, but that is a couple of months out. In the meantime, we plan to use condoms as a birth control method. However, M has a difficult time maintaining an erection, and as a result, condoms aren't necessarily going to be the best choice. So we had some talking to do about what other methods we could employ to keep me from getting pregnant until I get the IUD.

Also, apparently his wife is uncomfortable with the idea of us being condom free, even with me having regular STD tests and an IUD. She thinks he is trusting me too much. M says she isn't throwing him an ultimatum or anything like that, just letting him know she doesn't like that decision. He says what that means is that he will hear about it again, most likely. He also said I shouldn't worry about it, because he is more likely to choose to use condoms with her than me, because the frequency of sex with her is much less than the (potential) frequency with me, if she really does have an issue that she decides is a hard line for her.

This part of the conversation had me feeling anxious and a little sad, because I don't like thinking about his wife having issues with the way I conduct my relationships. Though, I know she has said many times that she doesn't understand polyfi and that she would never choose it for herself. M has said repeatedly he can't be poly any other way, himself.

All of that led into a discussion about his wife H's desire to become more open with her polycule located on the west coast, which she has expressed to the both of us at different times. I told M that when that happens, if he is not using condoms with her, I will have no choice but to go to condoms, regardless of whether or not I have an IUD. He said he would definitely be using condoms with her if she starts having penetrative sex with guys. He is less sure if she just has sex with other women. (His wife identifies as pansexual.)
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Last edited by Bluebird; 09-08-2013 at 10:18 AM.
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  #13  
Old 09-08-2013, 05:59 PM
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Today is a lazy Sunday for me, one of those rare days when there is nothing on the schedule. Even extroverted me needs a down day every once in a while!

I am feeling very sexually frustrated right now - not being able to have penetrative sex with either of my guys at the moment. So it isn't as relaxing as I'd like. Normally, I'd sex up my husband and then sleep, rinse and repeat as often as he'd allow. Instead, I am aimlessly browsing the internet and complaining here.

For the rest of the day I am going to go watch the show, Orange is the New Black. Lots of my friends keep recommending it.
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Old 09-09-2013, 01:50 PM
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Apparently I have a new nickname. It's Peaches. M and I were out to lunch last week, and the waitress said, "Thanks Peaches" to me after bringing my order. We laughed lots after she left, and then today on chat M called me nifty and peachy, and then we quoted lines back and forth from that earworm song from The Presidents of the USA about peaches. I like my new name; it's sweet.

Gosh, NRE! I am so squeeee this morning and I love just thinking about M! I can't see him until Wednesday, so I am bumming about that. Normally we would see each other Mondays, but his car is kaput and I don't have gas money at the moment. Stupid house needing to be paid for! However, I'm not dwelling on the negative and instead just focusing on how awesome I feel when he kisses me. He is quite thorough. My ex husband kissed me once a year - I wish that was an exaggeration. My D is much better - I get lots of affection and kisses from him everyday. However, M just starts with a kiss, and then he is all over my ear, and neck and chest and then back up to my lips. He is so intense with them! My husband is sweet, M is passionate.

How awesome that I can have both!
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  #15  
Old 09-10-2013, 08:59 PM
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I cut off my hair today and now I have bangs! Pretty big change. I needed it!

M and I talked all morning on chat and he was wanting me pretty bad - yeah, I want him too! He says the sweetest things - I ask him sometimes if he looks stuff up on the Internet - he is SO smooth! He swears not.

Today at Walmart I bought some more condoms, so now I have 3 different kinds for M to try. I figured to get a variety, see if either of us have a preference and then buy in bulk. Hopefully he has a clean STD result tomorrow. I will be unbelievably bummed if he doesn't! I am picking him up at 10 am to go to the doctor's with him. I am pretty sure we are going to hold out to be together on Friday - I don't want our first time to be together in my minivan. Lol At this point though, I haven't had sex for a week and a half (well, penetrative sex) and I am going crazy with need right now. My husband is waiting to go to the doctor and won't fuck me because he is uncircumcised and he is worried about maybe harboring some baddies since I hit positive on BV and yeast. I have tonight's dose of antibiotic and then one tomorrow morning and I am done! So, yeah, I don't blame him for being cautious. I don't want this crap back. Still, it is so frustrating to me to have two guys who love me and care about me, yet there is no penis able to do me. Craziness. Sigh.
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  #16  
Old 09-12-2013, 03:20 AM
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M's tests came back clear and he asked for Levitra, so we are set for Friday! So excited!

We had a great day today together 10 to 5, actually. Usually our dates are 11 to 3, so we had a little bit longer to spend, which was wonderful. We had planned to go to an art exhibit, but we decided to go get ice cream and hang out at a park instead.

I still feel a bit like I am negotiating for time with M's wife. M and I were discussing if Fridays were going to be our regular overnight each week or not, and he was uncertain whether she would allow it. Even though she disappears spontaneously to stay with poly partners, often, that he would not think to question or limit. It just leaves me feeling very unequal and a little unhappy. I told M that I need weekly overnights, period. That's why I became poly initially - I need more sex than I receive with my husband. I also crave it like crazy to secure emotional connections. Hopefully this will work out. I know a lot of it has to do with her adjusting to M practicing a different type of poly, and him being so emotionally attached to me.
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  #17  
Old 09-12-2013, 11:53 AM
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Oh! I didn't mention that M made me a digital mix tape yesterday. Er, he gave it to me yesterday, I mean. I was shocked. Though I had made a mix tape for a guy as a teenager, I never received one. So it was both surprising and romantic as hell! He actually couldn't have come up with a better gift, because now I can listen to it in the background of my day and be thinking of him often, but it calms me in a way that I didn't know I needed. I mean, he has this whole story of why he picked what songs he did - each song represents a certain time or emotion he was feeling in our relationship. It took him a while to come up which each song. It was crazy romantic to hear him explain it to me yesterday.

Corny, but a home run with me!

I am missing him like crazy right now. Tomorrow I have to drop my daughter off at a friend's house at 1 pm, and then I can go see him until 3:30, and then he needs to take his son to work. Afterward, he is coming to my house for a get together (8 peeps total). We are going to play Cards Against Humanity and then the Thousand Blank White Card game.

Of course, we will have our first overnight too, so I am hoping that I can kick people out sooner rather than later.
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  #18  
Old 09-12-2013, 01:19 PM
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I hope M and his wife can come to terms with their different styles of poly. I'm rather shocked she assumes just because she wants multiple lovers, that he just wants one (you) (so far at least). I think it's fairly common to focus on one new love at a time, especially since it's such early days and you haven't even had intercourse yet!

Have a great time tonight. Looking forward to the update!
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  #19  
Old 09-12-2013, 10:38 PM
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Well, right from the beginning, M was very upfront that he was only looking for a single partner other than his wife. I told him I might eventually want a third partner, but that would be next Summer at the earliest - I just have no time to fit in another guy!
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  #20  
Old 09-14-2013, 08:19 PM
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Shit, just lost my entire post to an iPad brain fart!

Lots of emotions here today.

M and I were finally intimate last night (and this morning!) and things were great. He and I are very compatitible and he is very giving and concerned with my needs, so that is just awesome.

My husband was mostly amused at us today; apparently he went around the house last night to see in which rooms he could hear spillover from my excitement. He and M were teasing me together this morning at the late breakfast table about how much I had enjoyed myself! Silly guys. I was worried my husband might be depressed or sad, so I did not expect to see him laughing and feeling lots of compersion, but he did!

Will right more later, but I am really exhausted and need a nap!
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