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  #181  
Old 02-10-2014, 01:41 AM
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This morning he told me he was jumping in with both feet, and he felt he was falling in love with me very fast. There's no doubt - the way he looks at me, the way he touches me - he has NRE really bad. But it's all good, because so do I.
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  #182  
Old 02-20-2014, 04:05 PM
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Since peeps have been asking - an update.

I haven't seen B in over a month, as I haven't uh, needed his services. I miss his smile, but I never really wanted a FWB - right now I am good without one.

PunkRockAwesomesauce and I are still going strong. Everyday it feels like I love him even more.The NRE has been great.

We've taken to splitting my time - I stay over at his house for 3 days at a stretch, then I'll be with my husband for several days, and then PRA will come stay at my house with my husband and I for a day or two. So far it is working great. D says he likes PRA a lot, and thinks he is very honest and well, awesomesauce. Right now the only jealousy issue that has been expressed is that PRA said he wishes that our relationship had the same longevity behind it that my husband has had. He has said several times that he wants this to be lifelong, and he seems to be backing that up fiercely.

He updated his Facebook page to reflect our relationship. He is out to his friends AND his family. Everyone in his life has been happy for him. D and I had several conversations and I came out on Facebook as well - by updating my "About Me" section, and sharing pics and events whenever I am with PRA. I had a few friends who didn't know message me almost immediately, but only one unfriended me - someone I hadn't talked to since high school. Whatever. My parents and siblings seem to have not noticed. My father has been messaging me a lot lately, and he dances around the issue. I am not nervous about telling anyone, anymore.

This just feels right. This is the type of polyfidelity I've wanted from the beginning. I am happy - oh so happy.
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  #183  
Old 02-20-2014, 10:39 PM
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Happy for you.

My life runs the same way.
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Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #184  
Old 02-21-2014, 01:00 AM
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This is new to me - I would appreciate any tips on how to make the process run smoothly. So far it seems to be going well. I keep checking in with my husband, and he is happy so far with the time split.
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  #185  
Old 02-21-2014, 01:13 AM
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Stay connected with your husband. Make sure he has a bit of a safe zone.

While Butch and Murf are friends. Butch needs not to have his home invaded too much. At first he was ok with Murf being here quite often but after awhile he needed his space. Butch is a giver when it comes to me.

So I split my time mainly between my house with Butch and the one I share with Murf. I spend 12-14 days a month with Murf. This weekend I will be with Murf Friday through Sunday night with my boys. Next week I will spend the night Wednesday until 3 pm Thursday. Then he has a long weekend working. I hope to see him Monday into Tuesday. Then a kid free weekend Friday till Monday.
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40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #186  
Old 02-21-2014, 03:17 AM
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Yes, I've been making sure D is supported with his space and the down time his introverted self needs. I don't want him to feel like he is obligated to make time for me to get my snuggle on with PRA. I keep checking in, and he is fine for now. He says he has no complaints and he is happy with the time split so far. He also has lots of compersion - he is glowing with happiness for me. He says I am much better now, than I ever was with M.

Can I ask a practical question? How much stuff do you keep at Murf's? PRA cleared me some space to leave toiletries and clothing, but I have no idea how much to leave there. I've not had to navigate this before! I do know that I change my clothes bunches before deciding on something to wear. I don't know if I can stand leaving clothing at his house, when I might want it back at my place! Oy! I am such a stupid girl.

So far, things are so wonderful. However, I keep waiting for the shoe to drop, you know? Things were wonderful with M, for a short while.

I just re-read my entire blog and I got very teary. Wow. I was in such a bad place for so very long and I kept excusing it all away. I have to make sure to not ever do that again. It's my MO though - 12 years with my ex-husband and then again and again with friend relationships. And of course, most recently with M. Maybe by writing it here I can give it a name and put it to rest. I need to value myself and my emotions more.

PRA is coming over to pick me up tomorrow and we are going to spend the entire weekend together at his place, returning me home Monday morning. He is going to go out with D and I Monday night as a 3-pack for trivia. I cannot wait to see him. It seems like ages and ages but it was just yesterday morning! I am trying not to be clingy but my NRE is just fucking with me so much. I feel like I love him to pieces and when we aren't together, I am in pieces. Not in a negative way, but in a goofy, what was I doing again? sort of way. Buh.
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  #187  
Old 02-21-2014, 12:17 PM
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Quote:
Can I ask a practical question? How much stuff do you keep at Murf's? PRA cleared me some space to leave toiletries and clothing, but I have no idea how much to leave there. I've not had to navigate this before! I do know that I change my clothes bunches before deciding on something to wear. I don't know if I can stand leaving clothing at his house, when I might want it back at my place!
I leave toiletries at Murf's house mainly. Some extra kitchen items too. I do not have many clothes because I don't want to leave something there that I may want to wear at another time. I do have emergency clothing stashed at his house in case of emergency. For example we got nailed with more snow than forecasted two weeks ago and it was not safe to travel. So I was stuck with Murf an extra day.

I know NRE effects you big time. My best advice is go with the flow the best you can. About a month into things with Murf he freaked out on me. I was so into him but he is mono and he had a moment where he had to decide whether or not he could handle having his woman never 100% available. It took him about a week. I was heart broken.
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40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #188  
Old 02-21-2014, 02:44 PM
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Quote:
I do not have many clothes because I don't want to leave something there that I may want to wear at another time.
This is my situation! I'm trying to figure out what I like enough in my closet that I would wear while over at his place, but don't care about enough to not miss it when dressing every day at home. The list is woefully short. I may have to buy new stuff. I think that sounds like a good compromise.
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  #189  
Old 02-21-2014, 05:22 PM
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We are at the comfortable with each other stage. Murf has seen me puking with the flu.... So I do not have to dress to impress...lol. So I keep Jeans, a couple of t shirts and plain long sleeve shirts I wear with something else. Yoga pants, shorts, and a wife beater to sleep in. Bra and underwear. Couple pairs of socks. I also keep a spare pair of back up scrubs in case I have to go into work on short notice.

Toiletries I bought travel size and I refill from home as needed.
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40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #190  
Old 02-23-2014, 04:43 PM
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Thanks bunches for the help! I bought some extra camisoles and toiletries. So far so good. PunkRockAwesomesauce cleared out a drawer for me and made some room in his bathroom cabinet for my stuff. I feel so cared for and loved!
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