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  #171  
Old 01-23-2014, 04:29 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Enjoy yourself and have fun!

Stop over analyzing.
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Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #172  
Old 01-27-2014, 01:39 PM
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Ha! As if! I over analyze everything!

Where am I at now? Well, I had two back to back dates on Friday night. The first guy was the oldest I have dated yet - I believe he is 52? He exuded desperation and loneliness. Not attractive. We just met for Starbucks. He lives about an hour away. By the end of the date he had found his center and was a lot less strange. I set up a second date with him for this Wednesday, at lunch. A little unsettling, since, as he has sent me no less than 30 messages. Nothing alarming, but he is trying way too hard.

The second date on Friday was with a large black man, who I will call Greg. (I am tired of initials, so he gets a new name.) I have never dated outside my own race before, so this was significant for me. No, wait, C is Hispanic, but he doesn't really count, since he was a hookup, not someone I dated. Anyway, Greg and I met for Mexican food and wow - he is SO much like my husband - same mannerisms, same quiet, still, collected demeanor. It threw me off my game a bit, for sure! And just like D, it was hard for me to get a read on how he was feeling about our date. I point blank asked him toward the end, and he was like, are you serious?! Oh, I am DEFINITELY going on another date with you! I kissed him goodbye and Greg obviously didn't expect that - he wrote me a sweet text message after.

Well, J came over on Saturday, and our dinner date ran over, so we missed the movie we planned to see. So instead, we went to play pool. I am so terrible at pool, gawd! Anyway, after we did go see Gravity in 3D, which was a pleasant surprise because I didn't know it was still in theaters. Lol He did meet D that day. D told me his opinion was that J was very Jewish. Riiiiiight.

I am not sure if I will see J again, to be honest. More of his quirks are coming out and they just unsettle me a bit. He is sweet, and he gets me, but I am not as big of a fan as I was. A large part of it, I am unhappy to say, is that sexually he leaves a lot to be desired. He isn't terrible, and though he does try to make sure I am getting what I need, he is a 5 minute guy. Seriously - every time we have been intimate he is SO excited. On one hand, it's nice to know I am that attractive to someone, but on the other, it's a little frustrating to have to start and stop to wait for him to calm down. Combining that with his little weird mannerisms, well, I don't know. I think he could sense Sunday morning that I wanted him to go home early. We haven't texted since, so we see how it shakes out.

Sunday evening I had a date again with Greg. He ended up coming back to my house and he met everyone that was home - including the first guy I was ever poly with, since he happened to be hanging out with my son, in the basement. Anyway, Greg and I sat on the couch and snuggled for a couple of hours, watching youtube videos. He likes a lot of jazz and Celtic music, so that was interesting. He left for home around 11 pm, with promises of seeing me Friday night.

I like Greg.

So this week is shaking out to be a busy one. I have a lunch date on Wednesday with the guy who is trying too hard, and dinner on Friday with Greg. My OKC queue exploded again and I have a first date set up with a really cute chill sort of guy on Wednesday night. I *might* have a date tonight or Thursday with a guy I have been playing message tag with for a few weeks. Oh, and the super hot guy who I saw last week is getting back to me too. I have a dozen solid prospects in my OKC inbox at the moment, but no time to do anything but chat with them.

My attitude has changed somewhat. Rather than be despairing over having to date and just wanting things settled, I am having fun going out and meeting new people. It has been a little expensive - I always try to pay for myself on the first date, and I alternate paying on the 2nd/3rd date, etc. However, I am having fun and trying not too stress too much.
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  #173  
Old 02-03-2014, 09:29 PM
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I don't even know where to begin with this entry. Um, I finally went out on a date with a guy that I have been messaging with for a long while, and it went spectacularly. Meaning, our 12:30 lunch date lasted until 5:30, and then the restaurant kicked us out. It would have gone on longer. This guy is absolutely awesome. We had SO much to talk about and I would have gone home with him that night if he had put it out there. Since he is a gentleman, he didn't, but damn, he is hot and smart and I am ready to jump into a relationship with him. He is monogamous, but wanting to try polyfi with me. We are supposed to see each other this week, and he bought us concert tickets to go see a band we both like next week. OOOOOH keeping my fingers crossed. I know I am squeeing waaaaaaay too much over a first date, but with all of our messages, and our similar outlooks on life - I am really, really optimistic and digging this guy.

I haven't talked to J in a week. He fizzled out and I am tired of driving to see someone who isn't clicking anymore. We just both kinda just stopped contacting each other.

Greg is cool. We don't have anything set up for this week, but we are still chatting.

Trying too hard guy is getting his STD tests done this week. I am not sure if he is right for me at all. Thinking about it, but not looking to set anything up with him until after his tests come back.

I went to a play party event this past weekend. One of the guys I have been talking to on FL and OKC was there. He was into me lots. We are still talking, but I like his FWB better. lol She doesn't live far from me and I think I have made a new BFF. The event was crazy fun, and I was super popular, which surprised me. I am not all that, but apparently tons of guys wanted to get to know me better. I drank a little too much and went home with a girl I met that night and crashed on her couch so I didn't die on the drive home. She is also now an awesome new friend. She invited me to a movie night at her house on Friday night, so I am going to go to that, for sure. The guy that I was talking to at the party and his FWB live nearby, so we are going to all carpool to the movie night.

Right now I am really having a great time and I feel like my life is on the upswing. I think a lot has to do with the fact that I have had so many dates, and all of them have gone really well. I haven't felt despair over my choices lately, instead I have felt empowered. It is a great feeling.
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  #174  
Old 02-03-2014, 10:16 PM
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Had to share - he just messaged me and he's driving to see me on Saturday. He told me he has been feeling so excited and "so alive" since our date. And now that we've set the next date, he has butterflies.

OMG I need to calm the fuck down. I am just bouncing! What I love about this too, is that I met him in person, not on any dating site.

I guess I should give him a name...how does PunkRockAwesomesauce sound? He is so fucking cute. Squeeeeeeeeeeee
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  #175  
Old 02-04-2014, 02:56 AM
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Love the nickname, very creative and descriptive!
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Prof: 50s male.
Kip: 50s male.
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  #176  
Old 02-04-2014, 03:27 AM
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Can I really be feeling NRE after one single date? OMG I am a nut! He is feeling it too. It's just so wonderful. To go from being so let down and sad, to feeling overwhelmed, to upbeat, to the incredible rush that is NRE - just wow.

My Fet inbox was overflowing today too - lots of guys at the party I attended who did and didn't talk to me, wanting to see if they could carve out time to get to know me better at the next event. I am still shocked by this. I was far from the most attractive woman at the party. At one point though, I noticed that I was alone in a room with at least 8 guys, all vying for my attention - laughing at my jokes, complimenting me, just being really friendly and nice. Course, they all wanted to fuck me, but it was surprising to me because there were plenty of other women for them to talk to, one room over. In fact, that room had 5 women in it, and just 2 guys. And those ladies were very hot, in my opinion.

Later that night, a guy told me that the reason I was was so attractive, was that I was clearly intelligent, confident and yes, sexy as fuck in my kneesocks and Converse hitops. He told me that guys respond to a girl who knows what she wants. I guess he was right, because I was certainly popular. I am not used to feeling that, and I am still feeling that now. It's like I said earlier - it feels empowering, and it has given me a real self esteem boost.

That said, though there were a couple of guys at the party I want to get to know better, I am enamored with PunkRockAwesomesauce right now. I am going to have difficulty falling asleep because I feel that incredible lightness that love gives to my nerve endings. Just giddy and stupid here, don't mind me.

Oh, and PunkRockAwesomesauce knows all about the party and the upcoming movie night. I actually told him all about my entire adventures with poly, even my worst sex ever experience. Lol I figured we needed to start out with as much honesty as possible. So far, things are great.
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Last edited by Bluebird; 02-04-2014 at 03:31 AM.
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  #177  
Old 02-05-2014, 11:17 PM
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I think I have a new theme song: On Top of the World by Imagine Dragons

If you love somebody
Better tell them while theyíre here ícause
They just may run away from you

Youíll never know quite when, well
Then again it just depends on
How long of time is left for you

Iíve had the highest mountains
Iíve had the deepest rivers
You can have it all but life keeps moving

I take it in but donít look down

ĎCause Iím on top of the world, Ďay
Iím on top of the world, Ďay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
Iíve been waiting to smile, Ďay
Been holding it in for a while, Ďay
Take you with me if I can
Been dreaming of this since a child
Iím on top of the world.

Iíve tried to cut these corners
Try to take the easy way out
I kept on falling short of something

I coulda gave up then but
Then again I couldnít have ícause
Iíve traveled all this way for something

I take it in but donít look down

ĎCause Iím on top of the world, Ďay
Iím on top of the world, Ďay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
Iíve been waiting to smile, Ďay
Been holding it in for a while, Ďay
Take you with me if I can
Been dreaming of this since a child
Iím on top of the world.

Oooooooo... OoooAhhhhhOoooAhhhhh[2x]

ĎCause Iím on top of the world, Ďay
Iím on top of the world, Ďay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
Iíve been waiting to smile, Ďay
Been holding it in for a while, Ďay
Take you with me if I can
Been dreaming of this since a child

And I know itís hard when youíre falling down
And itís a long way up when you hit the ground
Get up now, get up, get up now.

And I know itís hard when youíre falling down
And itís a long way up when you hit the ground
Get up now, get up, get up now.

ĎCause Iím on top of the world, Ďay
Iím on top of the world, Ďay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
Iíve been waiting to smile, Ďay
Been holding it in for a while, Ďay
Take you with me if I can
Been dreaming of this since a child
Iím on top of the world.



Yeah, I have it bad. So does he though - we texted half the night last night, and he asked if he could message me some more today. Now he has decided to come over and snuggle with me on the couch tonight and watch some IT Crowd. Maybe we will go play trivia. I dunno. I am just so nervous and excited to see him. I don't want to screw things up but I am just so squee! He hasn't even kissed me yet! The anticipation is incredible.

Yeah, I'm on top of the world, ay!
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  #178  
Old 02-07-2014, 03:52 AM
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So we spent the entire night laughing, talking and feeling the energy crackle between us on my couch last night, until 2 am. Then we retired to the bedroom and stayed up until 6 am.

We slept in until 11 am and then he had to work - we only got 5 hours of sleep total, but it was restful. He wrapped himself around me the entire time we were in bed together - a full body hug. He enjoys holding and I fell asleep pressed against him. Just wonderful. Just what I needed.

He asked what I wanted to call us - were we dating?? Left it hanging and I said, well, I would like to call you my boyfriend and he just lit up. He was hoping I would say that.

The NRE I am feeling is incredible. So blissful.

I did message Greg and tell him I wouldn't be seeing him anymore. That was kind of hard. He wrote back and said he was sad, that he had really liked me and that he hoped I wouldn't forget him. Aw! I didn't answer because I wasn't sure what to say. I had liked him, but there is no comparison.

I am going to a clothing optional pajama movie night in Baltimore tomorrow, and PunkRockAwesomesauce is ok with me going. I am kind of meh about it now, though I am excited about hanging out with the new women-friends I met last weekend. Really though, I am looking forward to seeing PunkRockAwesomesauce again on Saturday. Feeling squee!
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  #179  
Old 02-09-2014, 04:59 PM
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I don't feel as if I need this online writing thing anymore. Thanks for reading everyone. I think this is a good place to end it - with the happy thoughts of the fact that I am enjoying my new - hopefully long-term - relationship with my boyfriend and I am still secure and crazy in love with my husband.
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  #180  
Old 02-10-2014, 12:43 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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But we will want updates!
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The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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