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  #91  
Old 10-28-2013, 05:07 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluebird View Post

Before heading home I realized I had an hour to kill before having to be back at the house to prepare for my party tonight, so I messaged M to see if he wanted to meet for that amount of time. He said that would be great, but then said he asked his wife and though she said sure, he thought she didn't mean it so he couldn't come.
IMO it's not really her issues that are the problem here. I think you should talk to him about not bringing the communication with his wife into your relationship. Why would he tell you this?
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  #92  
Old 10-28-2013, 07:03 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Maybe seeing you more than once a week puts a financial burden on his family. But he/they are too embarrassed to say that.

There could be multiple reasons why he can't get out more.

He is a stay at home dad with a teen at home maybe his wife is angry that she is the only one working. He gets to play warmachine, go to trivia night, and have sexy time with you.. She maybe just be burnt out.

Or he needs to step back and he is too chicken to say so.
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  #93  
Old 10-28-2013, 08:05 PM
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Today I started a discussion about C2 with M. The reason being that C2 talked to me lots again last night and made comments that were hinting at he wants to ask me out to a movie on Thursday - something like "I have been thinking about going to this particular show, but didn't want to go alone." I ignored it and then we talked about other things. Those other things being about how he liked some of the things I did at trivia, and how he enjoys lying in front of fireplaces on thick blankets. Yeah. He said that. lol

So, I let M know this was happening.

I am flattered, but I am not thinking I really want this to go any place. I am ambivalent about the guy, because we haven't spent a lot of time together yet. I think I wrote that he was nice. He's smart, for sure, a good conversationalist when he isn't laying it on with lines, and he looks ok. *shrugs* We have a lot in common so far. His biggest positive at the moment is how close he lives to me. But the guy I was dating before M had all those qualities as well. I don't think C2 is offering me anything unique.

And because of me being so uncertain with M in my mind right now, I think I would want someone unique to even really consider dating a 3rd. If anything, I want to drop even flirting and focus on dealing with this time issue with M. I feel we just had a good discussion about it. He says he wants the same things I have been saying I need, so I hope we can work it out.
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Last edited by Bluebird; 10-28-2013 at 08:08 PM.
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  #94  
Old 10-28-2013, 08:11 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Actions speak louder than words.

Anyone can tell you what you want to hear.
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Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #95  
Old 10-29-2013, 01:57 AM
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I agree with that.

Next week is going to be really bad for me too - have to keep my mind off the fact that my husband is gone on a business trip. M hasn't said anything about coming over to offer any sort of companionship during that time, so I'm thinking he isn't going to do anything at all. I am hesitant to ask, and that makes me feel a little hurt and a little angry too. Why should I be anxious about asking my boyfriend to come keep me company while my husband is gone? I should feel excited, but instead I feel despondent, because I can already hear the reasons why he can't. Honestly, I don't expect him to be able to come for overnights, but at least some cuddling on the couch. Right now I just don't see it happening.
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  #96  
Old 10-29-2013, 02:21 AM
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When Butch was out of town on a family emergency and I was upset. Murf showed up to spend those days with me and my boys because he knew I was upset

He may not always verbally express what he feels but he does show me everyday.

When Murf's dad was hospitalized you better believe I was there to provide support to him and his family.
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Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #97  
Old 10-29-2013, 11:38 AM
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This morning I awoke feeling down and depressed. M was stressed last night (he has an anxiety disorder) but we worked through the scheduling that was giving him fits. His best friend (the one who doesn't like him being poly) was crashing at his place, so I won't see him today. Tuesdays are usually his hang out day with his friend, so that was expected, though he told me yesterday that if things fell through we could maybe have a short visit. I really was hoping we could because it has now been almost a week since I've seen him and that is just not a good thing for my emotional health.

I am trying to remain calm and not do the whole tit for tat comparison thing. I honestly think M believes that everything is ok between us because he IMed me and that should make us ok. It isn't. I feel like not having seen him is ramping up my responses to how I am feeling and it's creating this negative circle where every time I think about our relationship, it just seems broken. I need to see some changes happening. I will never be happy if what we have now stays this way.
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  #98  
Old 10-29-2013, 12:52 PM
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Had a pep talk with my friend and I am feeling better. I have 5 positive affirmations and after repeating 2 of them, my mood is much improved.

I take charge of my life. I choose to be happy.

Focusing on my fun girls night planned for later - pub trivia where we are all dressed up in our group Halloween costumes. We are all going as mixed drinks. I am a White Russian - wool ear flap hat with a red star in the center, white cami, white overshirt, white pants, white strappy heels and bright red toenails. Going to paint my toenails in a second, but I also need to go get my bangs trimmed. They are ridiculously long at the moment. I need to color my hair too, but that will have to wait - it is too dangerous to color my hair red and then wear all white! Actually, for me, just wearing all white is a dangerous proposition. Such a slob!
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  #99  
Old 10-29-2013, 08:33 PM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Clever. How are the rest of them dressing?
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  #100  
Old 10-29-2013, 08:42 PM
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One is going as a virgin rum and coke - all brown with childish makeup and a huge bow in her hair, a fuzzy navel, and then various color combinations of beers and labels.
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