what should we do?

[mcewan]

hi i am new to this thread, but would love some help.

My partner (john,41) and myself (jane,23) have been together for a little while now, and have always been very open.As we talked it became clear that we would both love to have another person join us, if it ever came to us fining another we felt strongly about.John had kept in contact with another woman (nimra,22) who he had met around the same time as myself (altho things had never progresed any further than friends). He brought up the subject one day to get her reactions on it,(not thinking she would actually agree) but she said she would meet myself and we could tke things from their. We have since been out on a few dates and we all get on great.I feel as if i have known her for a long time and love being with her and going out, and my partner feels the same.
We have had our ups and downs, when nimra said she no longer wanted to be with us, but recently we have started talking again. She wanted to talk to us about it, as she really wants to be with us , but due to her religion/background she is unsure how she could ever be able to fully comit (in the sence of telling her parent/siblings etc). We were ment to be discussing things with her yesterday but due to some exremely upsetting news that she recieved 5 minutes before we got their, it was not the time to talk. Now she has flew back home for a few weeks, so we will not get to talk untill then.
The relationship is in the early stages and i know it will take time before we can get a complete under standing and know each other completely but i already feel extremely attatche to her, and hope it will work out.

The trouble comes from another source, Johns daughter. When John was with his previous partner he engaged in threesome, and little was said.So we assumed (wrongly as it turned out) that altho his daughter may not agree in some ways she wouldnt make a big deal out of it.
Instead she has said she doesnt want nimra to come to the house,and either gets upset or goes in a mood if we mention her name.
Altho the three of us are in the early stages we only thought it fair to tell his daughter what was going on, as i stay with my boyfriend most of the time its this house that we would be coming to, but now its so hard if we meet up it has to be outside, not even yesterday when nimra was extremely upset was their a let up.
His daughter has just turned 16, and me and her get on great, but she refuses to even meet nimra.John says she will just need to get used to seeing nimra around the house if/ when it gets more serious, but forcing her into it, i dont think, will work

so i wonder if any one else has had similar problems and how they delt with them. Im sorry its so long, and a little jumbled, if you need other information to be able to help please ask, i really want things with nimra to work out, and i think part of her leaving last time was also because she didnt feel equal and so less loved as John wouldnt bring her here.

please note i have changed our three names, to save her identity