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Old 04-25-2014, 08:09 PM
NorCal NorCal is offline
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Default New to Polyandry -

Hello all, I am a thirty something recently divorced male with a vasectomy. My GF and I are wanting to have a child and we recognize the commitment that means so we have asked her good friend to contribute genetic material and if willing paternal and financial support. We have not consummated this agreement yet because we are feeling our way into this thing slowly to see if we can all get along after conception.

Essentially this means that I find myself in a polyandrous relationship. I am the primary boyfriend and I know that I will not loose her over this but I am wondering if there is anyone here willing to contribute some advice or support. I have joined the Polyandry group but there is only eight people in it so IDK who is still active.

Polygamy sounds cool but I would not feel comfortable in a polygamous relationship, one woman is enough for me. I am somehow able to accept my girlfriend sleeping with her best friend so long as I am not neglected and remain the dominant male.

Yeah this is not what I would talk to the guys at work about. You know?
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Old 04-25-2014, 11:04 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Greetings NorCal,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Polyamory.com is the right kind of place to talk about these kinds of things. I am in a hetero MFM V so if both men were legally married to the woman then we could certainly call it polyandry. I don't worry too much about who's "top dog," I just want to make sure everyone's needs are being met.

So this other guy who is contributing genetic material, will his relationship with you guys be strictly that of a secondary father, or will he have an ongoing romance with your girlfriend and perhaps some kind of friendship with you?

Let us know of all thoughts, questions, and/or concerns you might have.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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Old 04-25-2014, 11:06 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Not a bad start, but a few things:

1) Polygamy is not the same as polyamory. Polyamory is simply the freedom to have multiple romantic relationships. It's not a marriage structure.

2) Couple privilege, such as you speak of when you say you need to remain the dominant male, usually leads to problems in poly.

Are you looking for more of a swinging or poly situation? Because if they have a child, he is likely to take a very prominent role in the relationship.
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