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  #51  
Old 08-15-2013, 09:41 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Default Hoping you understood

I wasn't being sarcastic when I said you were one of replies who were NOT playing those debating games

as I meant that
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  #52  
Old 08-15-2013, 03:36 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Dirtclustit, no one in this thread is debating the OP. We are answering her questions, providing other viewpoints, and asking for clarification due to her statements which are loaded with assumptions that she seems to think apply to the majority of polyfolk, and her quite strange misperceptions about group sex.

We are only trying to get her to be clear about what she is asking so that we can give her the info she seeks. She has been rather muddled and unclear in every thread she has started. Apparently, it seems she has been taught some very odd things about what poly is.

You are the one who seems to be trying to start an argument. Others who have contributed to this thread have only pointed out to her where she is unclear or mistaken, and given her other perspectives, but if she doesn't agree or understand, I am quite certain it will not affect nor bother any of us. Believe me, it's not worth it to be that invested emotionally in conversations on an anonymous message board.
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Last edited by nycindie; 08-15-2013 at 03:41 PM.
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  #53  
Old 08-16-2013, 08:52 AM
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Natja Natja is offline
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I can't believe that non of you realises that the OP is winding you all up. S/he is a wind up merchant...

And why on earth was Boring Guy banned?

Last edited by Natja; 08-16-2013 at 01:59 PM. Reason: Confuzzlement
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  #54  
Old 08-16-2013, 05:17 PM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Default I disagree

it has nothing to do with obdurate attitudes, and it has everything to do with controlling the direction of the thread.

Flowerchild was asking about two different scenarios for the same situation, and would one tend to involve more threesomes, not making assumptions of broad generalizations about every polyship.

Ironically enough FC was saying that in her mind a threesome was a lot like your rigid definition of a "triad". As the grammarians are adamant that it matters not how fully integrated three may be in each others life, without penetration of genitals, it's just a Vee, or as FC called it, not a threesome but rather group sex

If you cannot recognize how the flow of this thread could easily be taken as silly power struggle over specific, strict definitions over nothing more than minor details, than you are missing major themes of many of this site's threads

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 08-16-2013 at 06:00 PM. Reason: typos
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  #55  
Old 08-16-2013, 06:56 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is online now
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Natja-there are two moderators who handle who gets banned and for what.
There are a number of activities that are not allowed on the board-as listed on this page: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=23

Most infractions are dealt with via pm by the moderators, directly to the poster in question. If someone has too many infractions or they participate in certain activies-they will be banned.

It isn't something that is arbitrary or random.
In 4 years I've only seen a handful of people banned.
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  #56  
Old 08-16-2013, 08:24 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Natja-there are two moderators who handle who gets banned and for what.
There are a number of activities that are not allowed on the board-as listed on this page: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=23

Most infractions are dealt with via pm by the moderators, directly to the poster in question. If someone has too many infractions or they participate in certain activies-they will be banned.

It isn't something that is arbitrary or random.
In 4 years I've only seen a handful of people banned.
Ok so it could be too many infractions rather than one thing?
Thanks that makes sense.
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  #57  
Old 08-16-2013, 11:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natja View Post
Ok so it could be too many infractions rather than one thing?
Thanks that makes sense.
Yes Natja.
If you collect too many infractions you can be banned.
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  #58  
Old 08-17-2013, 12:23 AM
Flowerchild Flowerchild is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirtclustit View Post
it has nothing to do with obdurate attitudes, and it has everything to do with controlling the direction of the thread.

Flowerchild was asking about two different scenarios for the same situation, and would one tend to involve more threesomes, not making assumptions of broad generalizations about every polyship.

Ironically enough FC was saying that in her mind a threesome was a lot like your rigid definition of a "triad". As the grammarians are adamant that it matters not how fully integrated three may be in each others life, without penetration of genitals, it's just a Vee, or as FC called it, not a threesome but rather group sex

If you cannot recognize how the flow of this thread could easily be taken as silly power struggle over specific, strict definitions over nothing more than minor details, than you are missing major themes of many of this site's threads
Thank you. Was starting to feel ganged up on.
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  #59  
Old 08-17-2013, 12:42 AM
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FC-
what I originally posted, which Dirtclustit commented on-was sincere and serious.

When engaging in conversation-ESPECIALLY online-
if you want to minimize the amount of backlash, questioning, frustration, sarcasm (feel free to continue adding pertinent adjectives);

It's imperative to clarify precisely what YOU mean by words/phrases &/or ensure that you are using the commonly accepted definitions based upon where you are communicating.
As this is a world-wide page-that means it isn't a local definition-but a world definition *which doesn't exist for many concepts*.
Thus making it necessary to specify what YOU mean.

Your understanding of most of the key terms in your questions and follow up responses are arguable at best.
That doesn't make you *wrong*-but it does guarantee that if you don't clarify and specify what definition you are using-you WILL get dramatic, argumentative responses.

It's a predictable result to unclear communicating.

What seems like clear communication when we are talking to our localized peers-is at best murky, muddy water when talking to people from such broad backgrounds, life experience and cultures.

I am well-known on this board for being easy-going and accepting of new comers and people with ALL DIFFERENT understandings of poly, relationships, love, etc.
But-I found your post to be confusing at best and based upon some seriously flawed presumptions at worst.

I assumed it was a communication mishap. Thus why I gave you communication style advice.
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  #60  
Old 08-17-2013, 04:16 AM
Flowerchild Flowerchild is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
FC-
what I originally posted, which Dirtclustit commented on-was sincere and serious.

When engaging in conversation-ESPECIALLY online-
if you want to minimize the amount of backlash, questioning, frustration, sarcasm (feel free to continue adding pertinent adjectives);

It's imperative to clarify precisely what YOU mean by words/phrases &/or ensure that you are using the commonly accepted definitions based upon where you are communicating.
As this is a world-wide page-that means it isn't a local definition-but a world definition *which doesn't exist for many concepts*.
Thus making it necessary to specify what YOU mean.

Your understanding of most of the key terms in your questions and follow up responses are arguable at best.
That doesn't make you *wrong*-but it does guarantee that if you don't clarify and specify what definition you are using-you WILL get dramatic, argumentative responses.

It's a predictable result to unclear communicating.

What seems like clear communication when we are talking to our localized peers-is at best murky, muddy water when talking to people from such broad backgrounds, life experience and cultures.

I am well-known on this board for being easy-going and accepting of new comers and people with ALL DIFFERENT understandings of poly, relationships, love, etc.
But-I found your post to be confusing at best and based upon some seriously flawed presumptions at worst.

I assumed it was a communication mishap. Thus why I gave you communication style advice.
That's fine, but accusatory statements are not helpful in continuing conversation. Calling me delusional is inflammatory, not sincere.
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