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  #211  
Old 08-10-2014, 06:27 PM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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A week has gone by already.
Kip came back and we had a lovely day together, he said he missed me a lot, and he said it over and over. I genuinely believe that he did and I missed him too. It is always good to have his input on things and he thought the house was a good idea. The sex was extended and really erotic. He has a few new things that he currently enjoys trying out, and I am having a lot of fun participating in. Sex with Kip is so very hot and intense.

The house deal is virtually complete, I feel able to say that it will happen with confidence and I will pick up the keys on Friday at 5pm.
My BF is going to try to organize her hubby and a couple of friends to help me move. Prof will be out of state and Kip can't do weekends. so no help there, but Roomie and a work friend have offered to help too.
I have boxes and bubble wrap and am picking away it in addition to rewriting my class paper for last week 0/25 and my paper for this week.
I will have some serious complaints about this class when it is over. I followed the rubric posted in the syllabus and in the weekly schedule, but the Prof changed the topic during a conversation in the class chat board on Wednesday. Apparently I am not the only one who missed that topic change cause she posted about a number of us being allowed a re-write and a late submission grade.

So Prof is coming round tonight to help me take the tv down off the wall and remove the mount that would be difficult by myself.
I have seen him every night this week bar the ones he was out of town.
It is all rather couply, he got a him + plus me invite this week which we went to. I think I am ok with couply as long as it is not hierarchical.
There is a lot of long range planning going on. We had to sit and do schedules with calendars and he asked me how long I want Wednesdays on repeat for. I said 2 months was enough He was also very excited about child #2's birthday which is at the end of September, and had 2 activities that he wanted to do, a fun dinner place and a goat farm. He just booked them in on his calendar while we were talking, I was a little surprised, to say the least, I have put virtually no thought in the birthday, I am focusing on class, house, moving and new job. Yet Prof obviously been thinking about it.
We tried to have a camp last night. I was fairly sure we wouldn't get a spot, the closes one I found was about 200 miles away. But we did have a lovely drive and stopped along the way to watch the kite surfers and have a very late picnic lunch. We tried a couple of parks but couldn't get a spot so went back to Prof's and camped there. He has a wood burning fire, so we got that going, started on the champagne, a had lots of lovely sex on the living room floor and furniture, with plenty of tea and sci-fi breaks in between.
All in all, life things are going well, definitely too much at once, but the pay-off will be worth it when the dust settles.
Back to packing boxes
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Me: mid 40s female. currently in a monogamous partnership with;
Mr Dom: late 40s. 1 year.
Prof: recently ended open relationship.
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  #212  
Old 08-12-2014, 11:16 PM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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House good, house bad, but fingers crossed back on track for Friday. Prof is a highly effective business man, very interesting and educational to see him in action.
I met Kip for some down time today. Probably shouldn't have due to time but nerves have been a little frazzled over the last few days.
Sex, very fun, he certainly managed to take my mind of things, he was being noticeably different in his approach, wanted lots of kissing and asked for some "sensuous and gentle" moments. I did ask him about it and he said he wanted the last time in the apartment to be a little different.
Off we go to lunch, me with papers needing to be dropped off after, quick snack only I say. Then the conversation starts; he is going to marriage counseling with Mrs Kip tonight. Things aren't going well, haven't been for quite a while, she made the appointment because he told her the only reason he hasn't divorced her already is because of their child. And it goes on...I am basically just listening as I have heard much of it before. I don't think I need to share the things between him and her but the point at which I got a touch alarmed is when I realized that some of his post-divorce future was based on the idea of a considerably more 'developed' is that the word? relationship with me.
It would be disingenuous of me to suggest that it wasn't me he was referring to with the list of preferred partner attributes, all that was missing was the request for a weird accent.
As the talk progresses it also seems that he is quite far down the line of planning how life will be post-divorce; selling the house, child visitation schedule... and then he says it; the 2 options he will present in counseling are a) divorce b) fully open marriage, no more limits on outside relationships. He then says he is viewing the counseling as a way to transition through the divorce process.
In no way have I asked for or encouraged divorce, I have been very straight up in saying that I don't see myself living with someone again. "Run away and be monogamous with me" is not an option, he knows that.
I don't paint single-ish parenting life as being easy (In fact ex went ballistic with me today when I told him about the move). I have even given up asking Kip for any activity that isn't sex and food.
Obviously this is a lot to take in, my main comments were to give the counseling a few sessions and see if things improve and that I will back away either temporarily or permanently if that is what the marriage needs. Honestly, at this point I would miss him terribly, but if he wants to move on with his life then it needs to be on his own terms and to end the marriage as cleanly as possible. This also explains the whole " I miss you" and declarations of adoration of late. I thought he acting somewhat out-of-sorts. He said he would be in touch after the first session tonight. I highly doubt it, not sure if he has an idea of how raw the emotions are going get.
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Me: mid 40s female. currently in a monogamous partnership with;
Mr Dom: late 40s. 1 year.
Prof: recently ended open relationship.

Last edited by Atlantis; 08-13-2014 at 12:10 AM.
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  #213  
Old 08-16-2014, 04:37 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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I picked the keys this afternoon and moved the first load of stuff over with some help from my BFF. I can hardly believe it has been only 2 weeks from making the offer to moving in. I am hardly ready to move at all, this place is a mess, but as the new place is only 15 minutes away in quiet traffic (40 during peak ), popping back and forth wont be too challenging. Friends are organized to help with the heavy lifting, 2 flights of stairs from ground level the top floor. This time tomorrow night I should be in bed in the new place, hopefully in the largest bedroom. My 2 have had the big bedroom for the past 3 years and #1 child doesn't quite get that it's time to let mum have it and kids get the small rooms.

My ex has been awful, no surprise there. It will be get worse when he gets court documents next week. If my default gets approved then the divorce is all finished. All kinds of new starts in the new house, a good one being even less contact with him.

Kip has been fairly quiet this week. Not surprising really. The counseling was apparently rough, he "told the wife I am done and she freaked." That is all I know. I suggested we not see each other for a while, he didn't go for that idea. It has all been 3 word or less communications bar the above sentence. I might have a little time next week to see him, but it is not looking likely. I told him a while ago that things will have to change with the new job and now also the new location. Ah. Penny drops. I am backing away and giving them some space anyway, he knows how to find me.

Prof is out of state on holiday until next week. I asked him when was coming back and he said he didn't remember when had booked his flight for but, he had made sure that it was in time for Weds night. I was very touched by that. He also asked me to stay over after the concert on Wednesday this week. I usually end up asking if he wants me to stay over or if it is alright to stay over, I never assume that it ok, and he usually says "sure" or "fine". I have totally latched on Gala Girl's "Joyous Yes." Either say yes or let's not bother. He understands. I had to pin him down in the house too, he kept giving me some sure and ok and fine, responses to a very big money question. I needed a GG YES!!!!!He provided it.

The concert on Wednesday was amazing, the venue is a beautiful outdoor mountain top amphitheatre. It is a very small venue and even the crap seats are very close the stage. I have previously seen James Brown and Liza Minnelli there. One of my all time favourite rock bands played ,they are one of Prof's favourites too. One more concert left from my ticket buying frenzy then done for the year.
I think I am done with everything for the year. Money will be beyond tight at the ex has made it clear he isn't going to help much with the kids and my punishment for moving "without consulting" him is to be whacked with the huge before and after school daycare bills. For tonight, I don't care, because tomorrow I will be on the second floor sleeping with windows open instead of us all sweating on the ground floor with windows locked.
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Me: mid 40s female. currently in a monogamous partnership with;
Mr Dom: late 40s. 1 year.
Prof: recently ended open relationship.
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  #214  
Old 08-22-2014, 03:17 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Internet is on at last.
The move was hard work, but aren't they all? I got the beds together on the first night and we stayed in the new place.
On the Sunday we loaded up the camper van to continue moving by ourselves and it broke down in the middle lane of the off/on ramp on the highway during stop and go traffic, then the traffic cleared. I thought we were going to get smashed. It was one of the most frightening experiences ever. People were racing round the corner blaring horns and we were stuck in the middle, the transmission blew. I didn't think getting out and crossing to the side was possible as people were so fast on either side. I called 911 and they sent a car to sit behind us till the tow truck arrived. We got towed back to Prof's place, I loaded up what I could into my car and off we went again.
I have been at work full time, and commuting back and forth till the kids start school. The ex has totally flaked, not been heard from until court this morning. That's a whole other story.
Poly business: Prof is dating more. I had a look at his OKC profile, a few changes, the funny one is something I have said to him a few times. I said, have an open relationship but only have 2 people per relationship, don't let the other partners run the other relationship. He wants someone to go on camper van trips too He has a date on Saturday and had one last night. I am seeing him on Friday and Sunday. We sat and did calendars last night and he gave me a coupon for a free companion flight and asked to me to see what I could do with my schedule. We also made a table of rooms, stairways etc and sex things to do in each area. It will take a while to fill all the boxes. I feel that I am happy with what we do in the time that I have, and I am glad he is getting out there again.
He has been beyond wonderful with helping with the move and did some set-up while waiting for the internet man to turn up, I didn't want to ask him but the window they gave me was huge and I couldn't take more time off work.

Kip, hmm. I don't know how that is going to work out. My schedule will be very inflexible for a good while, if not forever. I asked him to try asking Mrs Kip for some weekend or evening time, of course things are not good there, he said they are not going back to the counseling, but If he cant make it work occasionally then...He told me to stop scheduling and just give everything time to settle down. I want to see him. I don't want to "wait and see." Impatient? Moi?

I am very happy in my new house and the kids are happy too
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Me: mid 40s female. currently in a monogamous partnership with;
Mr Dom: late 40s. 1 year.
Prof: recently ended open relationship.
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  #215  
Old 08-24-2014, 01:47 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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I am going to book some cleaners to help with the old apartment and new house. I am beat driving back and forth all week and then studying until late at night. Time to admit I just can't do everything by myself this week.

Kip said he can't come to see meet next week at all due to work. I am disappointed. I know he has a lot on his plate right now and I will just have to suck it up. I don't like not seeing him for extended periods, which to me is more than 2 weeks. I get it though, it was me who said no to this week due to the move and work.

Prof and I went to a BD talk thing last night and then came back and moved furniture and boxes. He is getting a little better at not telling me, "You really should..." He has great ideas but I am just not in the right place to hear them. Once class is finished I can focus on house things but right now it is get boxes unpacked, get to work, take care of kids and just keep life moving along.

He had dinner with Ms Admin on Tuesday. She wanted to meet to tell him her new partner and her agree to an open relationship but with new partners only. So Prof is out.

Ms White Picket fence texted to tell him she had broken up with her boyfriend and was interested in reconnecting. He is not.

We had a little bit of a relationship check in. He talked about the dinner with Ms Admin and tonight's date, Ms Fish, is a previous partner. He said he wasn't sure what he wanted for his "next big thing" meaning relationship.

I had a bit of a think about that statement and when I popped back to his his place to drop something off I told him my thoughts. I said I would not allow a new partner to make rules that affected him. I would not break up with him without first making the effort to talk things through, we agreed to stop teasing each other about breaking up, admittedly I am the worst for doing that. And I told him he was very special to me, hugged, a little kiss and left. No more than 10 minutes. He was kind of laughing as I left because that was unusually demonstrative for me. And I am done with relationship check-in for a while.
The actions from him say more than the words do. He bought the kids safety googles so he can show them some power tool things. On top of the bloody expensive washer/dryer set he gave me a wireless Blu ray player, bought me some M&M pyjamas last night cause he thought they were funny and cute, he got me a t-shirt from his most recent trip, is paying extra for the transmission job so he can take us all camping again in the van ASAP, invited us all to stay for Labor Day weekend, I bumped into him at the shops this afternoon and he had bought some of the elusive hummus cups for me. So very thoughtful. I plan on making him a few dinners, hardly equal in value but it is what I can do on my budget.
The sex last night was great. He sat me on the washer during the spin cycle and made my head spin. It was very funny, and he timed it so the spin cycle and I finished at the same time. We checked off a few boxes on the list.
__________________
Me: mid 40s female. currently in a monogamous partnership with;
Mr Dom: late 40s. 1 year.
Prof: recently ended open relationship.

Last edited by Atlantis; 08-24-2014 at 01:53 AM.
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  #216  
Old 08-30-2014, 02:38 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Looks like my last post was eaten by the beast of the web.
The good news...DIVORCED!!!!!!!!! So beyond pleased to be done with that. Wow. 3 1/2 years since I moved out and so many good things have happened. Granted I have worked hard to make them happen, but it has paid off.

The month to month part of the class is done, I hope on Sunday. Then looking forward to all sorts of things to do on weekends apart from clean and do classwork. Prof and I have 2 concerts, a party or 2, and a companion flight on virgin america and airmiles to use too. So the rest of the year is looking full.

The camper van is proving hard to get repaired, no-one does the work, I did a little research too. Prof said he is missing the camping, I am too, so it is a priority. He is out of town until Tuesday but will hopefully find a garage whilst he is away, looks like a couple of hundred miles towing at the minimum, very surprising as we live near a couple of huge cities.

Kip is kind of quiet. Apparently things are still not going well with Mrs. Kip. It is hard to know what is the truth and what is not with him, I take it all with a pinch of salt. They maybe had their third counseling session. He also has a surgery scheduled in a couple of weeks and is nervous about the biopsy. I think it is hard to contemplate leaving a partner when there are possible health issues. Who will bring you tea and grapes in bed? I am being flippant but he was worried, and I am sorry that I am not allowed to go and see him. Maybe we can make an exception this time.

He did come over briefly on Wednesday for a look at the the house and a quick naked sexy time. I ended up hustling him out after less than an hour, a little frustrating for both of us. No tea and chat time Also seems that the promised end of summer hotel night isn't going to happen either, gone the same way as the beginning of the year hotel night.

All in the all things are going very well. Don't you just hate to say that out loud?
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Me: mid 40s female. currently in a monogamous partnership with;
Mr Dom: late 40s. 1 year.
Prof: recently ended open relationship.

Last edited by Atlantis; 08-30-2014 at 02:41 AM.
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  #217  
Old 09-01-2014, 01:07 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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10 classes in 12 months! I freaking rock. My poor kids will be glad to get me back. I can finish most other stuff at my own leisure to some degree and we can get back to activities. During break time this afternoon we went for a walk and collected 2 bags of wood for camping so I will try to book a night somewhere in 2 weeks time.
I also got my keys handed in to the old apartment, she with-held $700 from the deposit for repairs, eek. Hopefully, I will get most of it back, but I have to be honest and say I did not leave it perfect, just wasn't time and maybe 2 sets of broken blinds.
I am awful, I am thinking about what I can do next, like I haven't got a house and garden to deal with plus a thesis and internship to finish, oh yes and the new job job. My thoughts mainly turned to dating OKC time again? Nothing wrong with a little dinner and a lot of fucking is there?
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Me: mid 40s female. currently in a monogamous partnership with;
Mr Dom: late 40s. 1 year.
Prof: recently ended open relationship.
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  #218  
Old 09-01-2014, 01:27 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlantis View Post
Nothing wrong with a little dinner and a lot of fucking is there?
Never anything wrong with that!!!
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  #219  
Old 09-05-2014, 03:44 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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I found out that I have another 2 month long class to do and am using this month "off" to do battle with my internship projects. So no OKC for a while. I set myself the challenge to finish my classes before any new dates.
I am seeing Prof a lot. He came back from his trip on Tuesday and came straight to see me at 9pm. Had a very fun Wednesday, I gave him tour of my office building and we had some fun in my office after hours, though the cleaners were there. It was a little too busy for my liking. Would not have been good to get caught bending over my desk so soon
I am spending Fri and Sat night with Prof, but will come home to unpack a few boxes and he wants to pull apart the camper. That will be 5 nights this week in a row. He is on his round now for an hour or so.
Kip has gone virtually radio silent. I tried to chat a couple of days ago, it was a few brief lines and he excused himself from the conversation quickly. I am not sure what is going on, this is becoming a pattern with him and I don't like it.
I made time for him despite 3 major changes going on my life and still having to parent 2 children. I have little sympathy for "I'm busy" and not checking in now and then, he gets stroppy quickly if he perceives a lack of response from me.
Speaking of kids, I paid out $1,230 in daycare for this month and one week of last. My ex was complaining about the drive being so far. 5.6 miles @@ and could I pay for more after school care! Suuuuuure. Luckily my new house has a oil well in the back garden and I am pulling 10,000 barrels out a day.
And I have to go for an MRI, I have the symptoms of having had a mild stroke, hopefully is only stuff caused by the migraines but there seems to be some permanent and unusual vision issues and some other neurological stuff going on. ho hum
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Me: mid 40s female. currently in a monogamous partnership with;
Mr Dom: late 40s. 1 year.
Prof: recently ended open relationship.
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  #220  
Old 09-07-2014, 10:17 PM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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I messaged Kip on Friday to say " is weird when you drop out of contact for extended periods", that got a few sentences reply before he dropped out and today I wrote "Feeling quite disconnected from you these days." Honestly, I am reassessing the relationship. he has done this before, but it doesn't really suit my communication style, a little contact but regular is acceptable. It has been nearly 2 weeks since the brief 1 hour meeting and in total I think I have seen him twice in 6 weeks.
So, the Prof news is the "love" news. We got a little tipsy on Friday night and the last thing that I distinctly remember was laying in bed, facing each other, he looks at me and says "Atlantis, I love you." I panic, close my eyes and go to sleep. I wake up in the morning and spend 30 plus minutes wondering what to do this information bearing in mind we had been drinking. As close as I get to it is asking him about it is what we talked about before going to sleep. He says just goodnight, there was sex and then I feel asleep, he puttered around the house for a bit and then came to bed too. I spend the day wondering if he has forgotten, is avoiding it or what is going on.
I did, howeve,r ask him last night after dinner because it was driving me loopy. He said no way it happened, there was sex, I had my back to him and fell asleep. but yes, he does love me. I totally made it up? Apparently so. And I do believe him because he had to fill in more details of what happened during the evening. I am a little freaked that I made it up, I can go with it being a very vivid dream but am a little distressed to be honest and he wants to talk about the love part. The love part was mostly about caring deeply and another word I forgot, he said didn't want to discuss the definition of love but what I thought about him saying it and that he thought I was had been working up to it recently. I said I care for him deeply too, I missed him when he went away last week, he said he missed me too. He is putting off buying his new car until he gets the camper fixed cause he loves to spend time with me in it and we have so much fun. The dude is so OCD about getting the camper repaired,. He is going to interview 2 repair garages next week before he lets them touch it @@ We had a pretty great weekend of sex and laughing and more sex and tea and sex, talking and sex. I don't know if I love him. I miss him, look forward to seeing him, enjoy his company, have a lots of fun doing silly stuff. I suppose that is one definition of love.
__________________
Me: mid 40s female. currently in a monogamous partnership with;
Mr Dom: late 40s. 1 year.
Prof: recently ended open relationship.

Last edited by Atlantis; 09-07-2014 at 10:21 PM.
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