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  #121  
Old 01-17-2014, 01:04 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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I sent my application today. Unless it is a lot more money, I won't do it.
Mum reminded me today of how kid friendly my current job is, I can pretty much flex it however I need it. That would be entirely lost with the new job. However, I am interested to see what they offer and what they are asking for.

I understand that I used to phrase, "no contact" incorrectly. NC is what happens after a break-up. Kip and I are in a "time-out." He broke it today, he sent a few IM pings, which I ignored, and then called, which I let go to VM, he asked me go on IM later to chat.
My big plan was to let Tuesday, end of time-out, slide on by without any contact. Seriously, when I think about what I deal with at work, breaking up with a cheater should be easy peasy. Boundaries of titanium everywhere except with men that I am dating.

I didn't text OKPea today. My work friend is staying with me for a while, so no opportunities to do much in the afternoons. I'll be surprised if OKPea gets in touch with me either.

I met with Prof for dinner, he has bought a different house ( the other one is still a possibility) which my now single and looking for accommodation work friend is interested in taking the lease for. Work friend and I are will be driving over to check it out tonight. We had a look online and work friend thinks the location is perfect and he would be in charge of vetting roomies to live with him, rather than trying to find a cheap place which would also allow his kids to visit. I know Prof would also prefer to hand over the house to someone else to run, he doesn't have the time to be an active landlord.

Prof talked about how felt he had let me down at the end of last year and had seriously been considering my complaints and that there have been big changes with S.
He said that S did not want to get a life expectancy time line from the doctor and has instead decided to live life to the fullest whilst she can. She initiated the following changes... they will be apart every third weekend, to allow weekends and overnights with other partners, which means the 16 hour rule and one date per week rules have been done away with. Wow!
I have no clear picture of how she is doing, on one hand she is apparently dating up a storm, and is very keen on one particular partner( which was what started the changes, she wants a trip with him) on the other hand, they are contemplating hospice care and/or a home visit nurse. I suppose it goes up and down depending on the treatment cycle.

He talked about the incident with B and how it was meant to be a fun idea and was a surprised I took it so harshly. Said he was very hurt when I broke-up with him, thought we were closer and more involved, I should have communicated my feelings better about the B thing. It's a lot to think about.

We are still in regular contact for various reasons and we did have a very fun quickie the other day.

OKE texted last night, I never even met him and I think 2 weeks between texts means I am bottom of the list. Erm, no.

A few short emails with another possibility.

Kind of ready to take a little time out from dating, till I get whatever sorted out.
__________________
Me: 40s female
Kip: 50s male
Prof: 50s male
Joe: 40s, male
Ms. Text: Prof's partner, female (S)
Ms. Admin: (L) Prof's FWB
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  #122  
Old 01-22-2014, 02:28 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Roomie met Prof last night and they talked house. The house is gorgeous, wish I could afford it, in an fabulous location too. Prof offered Roomie an amazing break on the rent for the first 6 months, after that it goes back up to market value. This gives Roomie time to take care over who he rents too and doesn't have to rush to get people in quickly. Also, getting into the master suite will allow him to have his 2 kids over. He was getting very stressed about that. To say that Roomie is impressed with Prof is an understatement, positively raving after Prof left. Fingers crossed it all goes to plan and Roomie will move in Feb 1st.

I texted OKPea, who was quick to respond, we are meeting sometime tomorrow, after work for me, before work for him.

One OKC email line fizzled but another opened, much closer. I get all interested again when I have a kid free weekend coming up
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Me: 40s female
Kip: 50s male
Prof: 50s male
Joe: 40s, male
Ms. Text: Prof's partner, female (S)
Ms. Admin: (L) Prof's FWB
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  #123  
Old 01-24-2014, 02:57 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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OKPea and I rescheduled for the weekend. I have been swamped at work and needed to get home and do some things before meeting Prof. There would have been less than hour before he had to go.
Yes, Prof and I are seeing each other again. We had a fun dinner and I had a cocktail, fair enough it was a double, but I was really quite trashed. Pathetically low tolerance for alcohol. but there was some really great sex last night and this morning.
Kip is fading away. We chat a bit online but less and less, I am happier to let it go that way. I can't bring myself to do it any other way. I adore him and miss him. I am peeling the band-aid off slowly, sometimes it is better that way. I don't want to feel a sharp rip. He still wants to meet. I think I would have no self-control if we did. I am sad.
I told Prof that I couldn't do the house share thing, he said that was fine as the couple said they couldn't do the small child thing. So everyone is happy
Classes start again in a week or so. I am dreading it. I am beyond overloaded at work. But apparently one loses one's loan if you have more than 45 days between classes. I found that out today when I got notice that my loan had been cancelled, thanks for telling me class councellors! So I have to just pound through the rest of it.
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Me: 40s female
Kip: 50s male
Prof: 50s male
Joe: 40s, male
Ms. Text: Prof's partner, female (S)
Ms. Admin: (L) Prof's FWB
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  #124  
Old 01-28-2014, 11:28 PM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Roomie is meeting with Prof to try and secure the house, I am waiting for the text. I told Roomie not to stress it if it doesn't work out. I am not going to kick him out anytime soon.

Prof has asked for Saturday night, of course I have the kids this weekend but we will discuss it later. Possibly doing having little time on Thurs night and then Sat if I can get a sitter. 2 official dates in one week.

I got a whammy child care drop-in bill from December, when ex was flaking, so I am not feeling very inclined to pay for a sitter, but I appreciate that he is making the Saturday night effort for me.

We are meeting in a while for him to help me pick out new bikes for the kids, oldest is getting birthday money from the grandparents which should cover both of them. I am looking forward to getting us all out on an easy bike path this weekend. I used to bike all over the place until they got too heavy to haul in the trailer. Don't think a trip to the store with kids counts as a date

I had a not very good OKC date on Friday, Ce'st la vie. OKPea rescheduled from Sat to Sun and then cancelled, so done with that.
Been IMing with Kip a little, no contact over the weekend. He is too busy at work to meet, and I am not asking. It's ok, getting easier.
__________________
Me: 40s female
Kip: 50s male
Prof: 50s male
Joe: 40s, male
Ms. Text: Prof's partner, female (S)
Ms. Admin: (L) Prof's FWB
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  #125  
Old 01-30-2014, 02:00 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Prof is still not confirming if Roomie has got the house. No-one else turned up to the open house, no other applications at this point. Prof and Roomie had over an hour to chat, so fingers crossed. Prof wants to check references etc, I told Roomie he should have put me down, haha.

Interesting position to be involved in this. Roomie is so excited and wants it done, but Prof has his set way and order of doing things and is not likely to deviate or skip. I am in no way pressuring or even bringing it up with Prof, I let him initiate the conversation if he wants to. I am involved with texting for meetings as Prof does not like to give out his phone number. Prof did mention it would be nice to get back to coming round to my house again. I replied that I would like that too.

Then Prof met me and the munchkins for bike shopping, there weren't any, but we ate samples and sat and had pizza with the kids. Kid #2 didn't recognize Prof. I forget that #2 is always asleep but #1 gets to say hi when Prof comes round. It was sweet and funny, both kids are enthusiastic chatters and Prof is good with them, bit of a domesticated scene.

So I booked a sitter, can't really bitch and moan about no weekend nights then not come through. It is an event activity which will be great fun. Roomie might be in the new house on Saturday which means we could have some fun in my bed for a change.
Prof had misread a meeting time, the thought he was going to be late on Thursday but in fact will be in town, so we can get an early start, BD play, local activity and then dinner and overnight. All declared and above board.

We had a bit of a talk about BD play rules, we were not in agreement about what is close to the edge and what is not. I called "Red" in the last 2 play sessions. We haven't played in a couple of months and what with the other issues, play was off the table for a while. It was time to get a few things cleared up before we play again.
I say he should know when it is getting close to being enough, we use yellow and numbers 1-10 as check ins. He says he wants to get to 10, edge play, so I need to l raise the numbers faster. Anyway, we ended up agreeing on "no bruising" which sets a clear limit to start. I rather prefer the sensation play, I like to float off, or hard fucking and aggression. I do not want to be thinking about numbers and colors. He has an amazing selection of whips, floggers, paddles, and super sensation play gear, even an electricity thingy. But his favorite is a cane, and it hurts, I have come not to like it at all. Enough that I clearly stated if we couldn't get the levels sorted then I wasn't going to play anymore. Do not imagine he goes bat shit crazy or anything, but if we can't communicate effectively on this then best to leave it alone. Or, aha, idea strikes, just ban the cane! Why didn't I think of that before, d'oh.
Kip, Kip, Kip, sex was always great and easy. The perfect combination of biting, spanking, pulling, hard, fast, slow, we had safe words too, but I never used them. He is the master at reading where you are at and what to do next. Always seemed natural and effortless. I miss sex with Kip, a lot.
I miss Kip on the whole really.
Edited to add: I miss what I imagined him to be.
__________________
Me: 40s female
Kip: 50s male
Prof: 50s male
Joe: 40s, male
Ms. Text: Prof's partner, female (S)
Ms. Admin: (L) Prof's FWB

Last edited by Atlantis; 01-30-2014 at 02:13 AM.
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  #126  
Old 01-31-2014, 01:20 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
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Prof is taking me to see the house this evening. I am looking forward to having a nosy, I keep trying to make the numbers work in my head, so that I could move in with Roomie but I want to start repaying my student loan asap, so conclusion has to be no.

Prof has still not given Roomie his decision yet and I am getting a little frustrated on Roomie's behalf. Maybe I will get a hint tonight.

I read an interesting blog article on "Casual Love," I'll try to find the link again. The basic thrust was saying "I love you," doesn't have to be a big thing and it doesn't have to have expectations attached. I liked that idea, I sometimes wonder if I am capable of "Serious Love,"( in the romantic sense) and now I find there is an alternative, casual love. I love, but there are no expectations. Valentine's Day, make you think!

I had my heart broken once, the sad song, not eating, pining away, kind of deal. I was 23. It seems like a lifetime ago. I haven't grieved the loss of a romantic love like that since. It was a sudden break-up, I didn't see it coming, there was nothing I could do to fix it.

Must run...house viewing.
__________________
Me: 40s female
Kip: 50s male
Prof: 50s male
Joe: 40s, male
Ms. Text: Prof's partner, female (S)
Ms. Admin: (L) Prof's FWB
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  #127  
Old 02-01-2014, 03:08 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Wow! A fabulous night as planned by Prof.
I had forgotten that I had suggested christening every room in the new house. Prof went with the idea....there was champagne and glasses, truffles, blanket, towels, fun BD gear, candles and the most perfect item for break-time, tea I was beyond touched at the effort, truly.
So the flashy sports car, garage, living room in front of the fire, dining room, kitchen, stairs, downstairs bathroom, master bedroom and master closet. The closet was the most fun. He disappeared and set up the closet as a mini-play room with candles and the gear. We were there for about 3 hours, then back to his place for some tv and more sex. He had to bring me home this morning as I was car-less, all in all the perfect date.
And yes, Roomie got the house!
I did a Goodwill run and got a bunch of kitchen stuff ( I tend to not collect stuff so didn't have much at all to pass on) and a new electric kettle and went over to help him set up until the kids got too riotous and we came home.
__________________
Me: 40s female
Kip: 50s male
Prof: 50s male
Joe: 40s, male
Ms. Text: Prof's partner, female (S)
Ms. Admin: (L) Prof's FWB
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  #128  
Old 02-06-2014, 12:21 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Let's start with you "Oh no you, you didn't".

I went to file my taxes online today and my federal got kicked back as someone else was claiming the kids as dependents. There will be no phone call and discussion with the ex over this, he did what he did. I will mail all my court documents ( I went in and got copies stamped ) with my return tomorrow and let the IRS deal with him. I knew I was right but I did check the IRS website just to confirm...he has no standing whatsoever, either as custodial parent or having them the majority of the time. Big documented court ordered NOs to both of those. Bummer is my check will be held up.

Had a fun official second date with Prof on Saturday. He sent of few sweet and sexy texts whilst out of town. We are also looking at setting up an FMF with his friend, I will meet her next week I think.

Class is interesting, some very intense reading, and back to trundling around hallways looking for answers. I quite enjoy doing that part, gets me out of the office and meet different people.

Interesting job is coming up in July but I need to get my classes finished first, bit of a tall order but I am going for it!

Had a Kip chat yesterday, he wanted to meet. I explained why that wouldn't work. He reiterated that most of the stuff was online and he did bad by not being honest. I said we could still meet for lunch or tennis and keep in contact. He said he had stopped seeing IVY ( the nurse), they met twice (he told me once) not because I was asking but because he offered the info. Apparently she had a wild weekend in Vegas and he didn't like the number of partners. He says he never met the flight attendant and wanted to keep seeing me and of course continue with online stuff. I said he was free to do whatever he wanted. I had to stop at that point, things to do.
Much easier letting go with time and space in between.
__________________
Me: 40s female
Kip: 50s male
Prof: 50s male
Joe: 40s, male
Ms. Text: Prof's partner, female (S)
Ms. Admin: (L) Prof's FWB
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  #129  
Old 02-08-2014, 03:53 PM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Wednesday night was fairly quiet due to me having a headache, we pretty much were in and out of bed all afternoon and evening. Lots of sex ,cuddles and chatting. I told Prof I was the human equivalent of Ambien to him, naps and early nights. He said it worked for him as his life was so hectic, it gives him a chance to catch up and rest.
We talked a lot about sex, I had taken a fairly strong pain killer and was a bit fuzzy and very relaxed. Some of it was old ground and some new. We discussed what was good sex, he said he he enjoyed me because of the openness to try new things and that he had got to explore his kink much more than before. He said I was the reason he booked the original set of classes with the Pro-Domme; I thought he had discussed it with S before but I could be confused. He has booked a training weekend with the same Pro-Domme for March and wants me to go with him to one of the days and wear the tennis outfit. It is a group training, which makes me a little nervous, talking to people, funny that it the issue, not getting half-naked and being whipped!
I keep thinking that he was well on the kink track before I met him. He said he wanted to be but hadn't done too much about it, had a few basics and played a bit. All the furniture purchases and many of the toy purchases were got with me in mind. It is nice to be flattered a little, especially when one is feeling crappy.
I have an OKC date lined up for a couple of weeks time. We chatted on the phone, the dude was asking some very in depth relationship type questions, which I said I wasn't comfortable discussing over the phone. Am I friendly with my ex? Why did we get divorced?

Speaking of which, I got my copies of various documents stamped at the court and sent off my tax return via mail.
And I am going to start rounding up the paperwork to take to a lawyer to get the divorce rolling again. I needed to get something else filed first which I also did this week .
__________________
Me: 40s female
Kip: 50s male
Prof: 50s male
Joe: 40s, male
Ms. Text: Prof's partner, female (S)
Ms. Admin: (L) Prof's FWB
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  #130  
Old 02-11-2014, 05:29 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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Wonderful having Sis and BIL out for a quick visit.
No school for the kids today so we got to spend the day together, IHOP for brunch and a nice restaurant for dinner, which involved a lovely walk first. The kids were so well behaved, I was quite the proud parent. I stocked a bag with activities for dinner and we all got played, colored, ate and laughed a lot. Oldest has a great Spot the Difference book, it is simple black and white line drawings but some of them are really tough. BIL was laughing that Prof and I have multiple degrees between us and still got stuck on a book for 3-8 year olds! BIL is great fun and the kids loved him, gave me and Sis some time for chat.
I am sorry that they are leaving so quickly, just 2 nights, then off to do some touristy things.
Parents have said that they will slow down the visits to once a year now, the long haul is starting to get too much I can't book a flight for next year as Ex has priority in choosing dates and thoroughly enjoys messing things up.
I am very fortunate that I have such a loving family even if we are so far apart.
__________________
Me: 40s female
Kip: 50s male
Prof: 50s male
Joe: 40s, male
Ms. Text: Prof's partner, female (S)
Ms. Admin: (L) Prof's FWB

Last edited by Atlantis; 02-11-2014 at 05:31 AM.
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