Looking ahead - St Valentines Day

[nycindie]

Ray,
I sounds to me like what you really want is to clear up the ambiguity in your relationship. I'd bet if things were more clearly defined, or the dynamic was more aligned with what you wanted, getting that kind of Valentine's Day acknowledgment wouldn't be as important to you. What I got from reading your post is that you have some dissatisfaction with your situation. Perhaps that is what needs to be addressed, much much more than what symbolic gesture will make you feel better about it.

[gemini]

i am thinking of getting my ladies a pair of "matching" license plates for the fron of their cars. betty boop on one side with tinkerbell on the other side. i'll put baby doll on the wifes plate and princess on the girl friends. nothing over the top

[SNeacail]

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance

We never celebrate Christmas on December 25th. Because of the "mine, his, ours" status with the kids, it was common for the "mine/his" children to be at their other parents home.
So we just made a deal a year into our relationship to celebrate a week later, then told the other parent they could always have their kid on Christmas.

What a wonderful compromise. I see way too many parents and even grandparents get pissy, because they don't get their kids on a specific Holiday.

[MileHighQuad]

My husband and I usually find a weekend in Feb to send the kids to grandma and take a weekend trip. Nothing fancy, just a simple hotel in a nearby city or up in the mountains. We sleep in, go out to eat, do a little shopping and maybe see a movie. No stress, no fancy gifts or expectations. Mostly it's about having time to reconnect. And, actually the Valentine's tie-in is not really intentional. We do it around that time because he gets his bonus from work in Feb. Just works out nicely that way! This year, since there are four of us now, we are including our other loves in our weekend getaway. Can't wait!

[booklady78]

Last Valentine's Day worked out perfectly because it was on the weekend - very easy to work time in with each of my guys. We're not big on going overboard with cards and gifts, just spending time with each other as usual. I do, however, insist on making heart shaped pancakes :P
I believe I did most of the planning last year, so I've let them take the reigns this year and decide what they'd like to do. I think hubby wants to have dinner on the Sunday evening before and my bf wants to go to horror movie event on the Monday... Whatever makes em happy

[ray]

Originally Posted by nycindie

Ray,
I sounds to me like what you really want is to clear up the ambiguity in your relationship. I'd bet if things were more clearly defined, or the dynamic was more aligned with what you wanted, getting that kind of Valentine's Day acknowledgment wouldn't be as important to you. What I got from reading your post is that you have some dissatisfaction with your situation. Perhaps that is what needs to be addressed, much much more than what symbolic gesture will make you feel better about it.

Totally agree. VDAY is just the manifestation of a larger issue. I haven't quite figured out what to do about all that yet. Some conversations have been needing to happen for awhile now. Hopefully we'll get things straightened out soon. Just to clarify, I'm open to doing things on days other than the 14th. The issue was more the fact that he said that we wouldn't be able to go on a date period. Since A isn't comfortable with that. But thanks for the suggestions. I'm sure we'll figure something out.