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  #111  
Old 02-21-2014, 02:58 PM
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Default Well... that was quick.

So, after a few emails and a phone conversation with P, it's all talked over and put to bed. I think that's the quickest we've resolved an issue in, oh, ever. Is there some odd poly award for "group conflict resolution"? I think we may qualify.

Anyhoo, I was misreading P's point in the marriage discussion, I've determined to just ask to head upstairs to bed when I need to (rather than wait everyone else and the rest of the night out), M1 stated that yes, she does get amorous when tipsy, so she'd watch that out of courtesy, and we cleared up the whole stay-or-go thing pretty quickly and cleanly. She'll make it clear when/if she wants to stay, and I'll just point-blank ASK if it seems to be heading that way. We all waited around for cues from everyone else, which obviously weren't coming because everyone else was waiting too.

So. Done. <Brushes hands off on pants>

Next?
__________________
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 10), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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  #112  
Old 02-21-2014, 03:12 PM
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I am not sure if there is an award, but a tip of the fedora to you all for resolving it that fast!
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  #113  
Old 02-22-2014, 05:36 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Originally Posted by YouAreHere View Post
So, after a few emails and a phone conversation with P, it's all talked over and put to bed. I think that's the quickest we've resolved an issue in, oh, ever. Is there some odd poly award for "group conflict resolution"? I think we may qualify.
...
So. Done. <Brushes hands off on pants>

Next?
Woo-hoo! Good job!


Quote:
Originally Posted by YouAreHere View Post
... I've determined to just ask to head upstairs to bed when I need to (rather than wait everyone else and the rest of the night out)... and we cleared up the whole stay-or-go thing pretty quickly and cleanly. She'll make it clear when/if she wants to stay, and I'll just point-blank ASK if it seems to be heading that way. We all waited around for cues from everyone else, which obviously weren't coming because everyone else was waiting too.
This is, for me, a VERY important step! I'm pretty much a hermit - I like my routines and quiet time. I get antsy if I feel compelled to play hostess (or guest) for an extended time. If any of us are close enough to someone (friend or partner) that they are spending a significant amount of time in my home - then I want them to be free to "make themselves at home" (you don't need to "ask permission" to eat/sleep/drink/bathe/watch TV/read a book/play music/do your laundry/etc.).
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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  #114  
Old 02-25-2014, 02:52 AM
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Default All-righty, then!

My creativity has been challenged. Another thread asked, nay, pleaded for nicknames rather than initials. I have to admit, with P and M1 both beginning to date someone new, who I'm about to meet and am enjoying interacting with her on FB, I really don't want to make her M3 (since there already was an M2) because now people are starting to sound like BMW models.

I liked the anonymity of initials, but they do get confusing. I concede.

SO, from here on out, we've got nicknames.

P is henceforth known as Chops.
M1 will now be Xena.
New metamour/friend will be Noa.

You're welcome.

Anyway, today was a slow day, but over the weekend I resolved to finally get my ass up and moving again. I went from running regularly and teaching spinning classes, to running irregularly and teaching spinning, to not running at all but still teaching spinning, to hurting my back and doing jack squat. And now I'm putting on more weight and feeling it. I don't like not being able to bound up a flight of stairs without breathing hard at the top. Yuck.

So, we got the treadmill operational (after having it in the garage for over a year and a half, getting it into the cellar was the biggest hurdle!). Problem is that the belt is too loose and I only have metric hex wrenches, so no using it tomorrow (unless I go slowly) until I make a trip to Harbor Freight. Still... progress.

Got back on a spin bike for the first time since hurting my back (well, second time if you count the 5 minutes it took for me to try it out and nope right out of there because my back hurt too much). I got through a 45-minute class (as a student) without straining it too much (and I was able to change position when I needed to), and I managed to work out enough to have tired legs afterward. More progress. Going back Wednesday and hoping the motion limbers things up a bit. Baby steps.

Chops and I are meeting Noa for dinner next week, and I'm really looking forward to it (not nearly with as much trepidation as I had meeting the not-to-be-nicknamed M2, who isn't in the picture anymore). She and I have been interacting on Facebook, and she's a peach. Like I said earlier, I do believe we'd be friends even if Chops weren't involved, so that's huge. I have a feeling we'll be doing a lot of shooting the shit (and hopefully not shutting Chops out of the conversation... hee hee hee). She and I seem to have a lot in common, and she even has a yummy homebrew that she's going to deliver. Whee!

Nothing else too big on the Poly relationship front. Chops has been extremely attentive and loving and cuddly (I heart the cuddles and together time), and it's been a really good few days after the initial stress from the birthday gathering. Riding the wave.

And I'm trying to get off the internet a bit more and actually DO stuff. Getting the treadmill back in good shape is a nice project, but I've been playing around with installing a Plex server (cut the cable TV cord and I'm looking for any way to get HGTV). It's a good excuse to be geeky.

Family is up and down... Mom is in the middle of radiation treatments and she's doing really well (hooray!). Middle sister seems to again be in a bad emotional state, but she's at the point where she's realized that her decisions are what got her there, and (I hope) are what will get her back on her feet. Baby steps. I'm hoping this is a good thing, but time will tell. Fingers are crossed.

Tomorrow, I'll either head outside for some exercise or I'll hit the fitness center at work and bop around on their equipment for a while. I've got a family history of folks getting diabetic as they age (and bad habits creep in) and I would really like to avoid that. Hoping to get to the point where Chops and I can run a 5-mile race in May that we've done the last couple years together, but we'll see. I'm still hoping to run another half marathon by the end of the year. They have a nice seacoast one in November that may be doable.

So... goals. And again, riding the wave while things are good. Looking forward to Spring, though, and getting some air in the bike tires and getting out some more.

Oh... And Chops got a motorcycle. Gotta get me a helmet. Thinking a purple metal flake bubble helmet will be my style. I wonder if we can mod the bike to make Jetsons noises...
__________________
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 10), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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  #115  
Old 03-05-2014, 02:44 PM
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Default On Metas...

Well, some updates first:
  • Treadmill is still busted. It was working fine until I cranked the incline up to "8" and it ground to a halt. Oops. Probably need to replace the belt.
  • The race Chops and I want to do in May is $50 to register for nowadays. Boo. Methinks we'll shift our tradition around and find another race to run. It's a GREAT race, but with other places my money's going this year (Disney, Universal Studios with the kids), I've gotta eat ramen, y'know?
  • I am DONE with Winter. That is all I have to say about THAT.

Now, onto the topic at hand...

I met up with Chops and Noa for dinner on Monday - she's really nice, and we had a fun conversation. I think it went really well, and I didn't end up in a teary ball afterward (like I did after the awkward dinner with M2). In fact, she mentioned that maybe she and I could get together sometime, which would be fun, but I know her time is at a premium between her job, her husband, her kids, and dating Chops AND Xena, so I'll let her take the lead on that. Good conversation, everyone got to talk, everyone was engaged and interested, lots of stories on all sides, and some good laughs. And the Random Google Dinner Pick of the night was this teeny-tiny "Authentic Mexican" restaurant about halfway between us... the food was FABULOUS, but the pacing was fast and ambiance was nil, so maybe we'll find something a bit slower-paced for the next time.

All in all, it went smashingly.

In other news...

Over the last couple days, events have transpired that I think really put my finger on why I cannot be close friends with Xena (and why I may still harbor some lingering resentment). I almost reconsidered putting this down in the blog, as I worry that either she or someone she knows may see this, but it's my blog and my space to vent and think things through. Beware all ye who enter here...

I've finally come to the conclusion that it's not that she's deceptive, not that she's dishonest, but she seems to be truly oblivious to how her actions (or lack thereof) impact the people around her. In fact, it's this obliviousness rather than any deviousness on her part that makes it so random and unpredictable (and therefore, even MORE aggravating to me when it happens).

Examples:
  • A while back, when Chops and I were planning to spend our first night together (and were VERY MUCH looking forward to it), it was probably about a week beforehand when Xena dropped the bomb that she had one of the cancer-causing strains of HPV, and had unprotected sex with Chops, exposing him. She'd had it before, assumed it had gone away (!) and had just gotten her pap result back. I'm glad she got her pap before we spent the night, and Chops and I have since worked through that, but GAH... such stress that could have been avoided if we'd known beforehand.
  • Xena's move out to this part of the country (and in with Chops) coincided with my move into a new house (and an emergency "OMG my shower needs to be gutted" project). This happened after she reassured me that she wouldn't be coming until around a month out ("spring at the earliest") and I was caught off-guard and felt abandoned when I needed help. She admitted there was no real need to move when she did, but she didn't feel like staying out there anymore. I acknowledge that her decision to move is her decision to move, but wow, did it make for a difficult couple of weeks...
  • She has a potentially life-threatening nut allergy and seems to be completely resistant to getting an Epi-Pen. Her choice, but it basically puts everyone else around her in a position where they could be responsible for her life if she has an episode (which she did last night and didn't wake Chops up when she got home to tell him). I DO NOT understand this one. At all. Why force the people around you to suddenly have that level of responsibility for your well-being? Chops was pissed that the guy she was on a date with didn't refrain from eating something with walnuts, and I'm wondering why it's HIS responsibility... Sigh.
  • No health insurance, which used to make me wonder if she'd need to "emergency marry" Chops in order to get on his insurance if anything bad happened... at least now with Universal Health Care, that doesn't need to be the case, but it's just one of those things that spark other decisions, or non-decisions, like getting an epi-pen (since you need a prescription).
  • Random, other smaller things that just irk... like putting in a date with Noa on the calendar for the day and time that Chops and I were going to meet with her (in case there was snow and we couldn't make it). I can understand wanting to make alternate plans, but don't make it seem like you can't wait for my plans to fall through. It's like hovering around the coworker who's leaving, so you can snag their office supplies. Wait 'til the ground gets cold, please!

Gah.

The moving thing - I get that it's not her responsibility to worry about MY move. Chops could have told her he couldn't support it all, but felt that he couldn't leave her in the lurch (which he told me as *I* felt left in the lurch, so *that* went over well...). The rest? sometimes I just want to tell her to take her blinders off and see how she's impacting people.

As for the calendar thing, I fired off an email to her when it popped up (shared Google Calendar, so I get notifications when something changes), and I got the "just putting it in so I don't forget!" answer. No apology, but at least some reassurance that my original plan was still priority, which was fine (and was really all I was looking for). I found it strange, though, that she profusely apologized to Chops for it, when he really didn't care (or notice). It just strikes me as odd that she'd apologize to the person who *doesn't* care and not to the person who questioned her about it... but I think I'm reading too much into that one.

Methinks my brain is looking for patterns here, which I'm trying to avoid - I don't want to constantly be critical about her every action, or think the worst of it. Still, when there is a preponderance of this type of thing happening, I'm leery. I don't like how her "head in the sand" behavior sort of popped up as a surprise exposure to HPV, nor do I like that it's making it everyone else's responsibility to protect her life if she makes a nut-allergy mistake (and then getting on a train afterward, where basically, you're trapped if something bad happens!). I'm leery of her decisions at this point, and it makes me just want to stay at arm's length.

sigh.

Getting it out helps. I can't really vent to Chops about this (although he heard my opinion about the Epi-pen and "making it everyone else's responsibility" thing this morning), nor to any of my other friends, since some already consider her the villian anyway ("You don't think she does this on purpose? I do."). I really don't think she's doing any of this maliciously, but jeez...

To be honest, it really doesn't matter if she is or isn't, when you get down to brass tacks. Chops loves her to pieces, and she loves him. I will continue to keep her at arm's length, since that's where I feel most comfortable (and less impacted) at this point. I will continue to be friendly - I do like her, after all - but I won't let my guard down. I haven't anyway, but now at least I've put my finger on why.

And knowing is half the battle.


Edited to add:
If anyone thinks I'm being unreasonable, please feel free to comment... heck, feel free for any reason at all. I know it's a blog thread, but I'm not going to be hyper-sensitive to anyone's comment saying that I'm looking for problems here and need to chill the eff out. I'm definitely open to hearing it, and it may do me some good to see this from someone else's point of view.
__________________
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 10), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk

Last edited by YouAreHere; 03-05-2014 at 04:13 PM.
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  #116  
Old 03-05-2014, 04:44 PM
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I don't think your misgivings and frustrations are unreasonable at all. Xena sounds... narcissistic. Her own satisfaction seems to be her focus all day, every day. So, in that sense, she is doing these things on purpose, not out of a vindictive or devious need to throw a wrench into other people's lives, but simply because it's all about her and what she wants, and any concerns about others is either secondary or not thought of at all. Yes, oblivious because no one else matters, yet people like that can be incredibly lazy about doing the work needed to take care of themselves. They just want to be special.

I work with someone very much like that - the world revolves around her - and wow, she is extremely frustrating to deal with. Now that I am her manager, I have been so perplexed as to how to deal with her, and my boss has told me that she has never had to manage anyone like her before. We both have to strategize how to handle her.
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  #117  
Old 03-05-2014, 06:31 PM
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I don't think your misgivings and frustrations are unreasonable at all. Xena sounds... narcissistic. Her own satisfaction seems to be her focus all day, every day. So, in that sense, she is doing these things on purpose, not out of a vindictive or devious need to throw a wrench into other people's lives, but simply because it's all about her and what she wants, and any concerns about others is either secondary or not thought of at all. Yes, oblivious because no one else matters, yet people like that can be incredibly lazy about doing the work needed to take care of themselves. They just want to be special.
Reading this really caught my attention, because that's exactly how I thought of my ex. We moved across the street from his mom, she owns the lawnmower (that my ex borrows), she owns the snowmobiles (that he borrows), if he ignores home repairs (like he does), she'll arrange the handyman for him. She takes care of her ex-husband, too, by handling his finances for him, because "he can't do it himself".

It explained why he didn't want me to move out of the house after we divorced - I was the major breadwinner. He was scared to death of taking care of himself.

(And no, I do NOT do his finances for him... )

My ex would do similar, randomly annoying things as well, such as coming home at dinner time (when I'd waited to eat with him), and saying he had a HUGE lunch at 3, so he wasn't hungry. And doing this over. And over. And over. After we'd made dinner plans, of course.

<shudder>

Luckily, Xena seems to be remorseful when her action (or inaction) does hurt someone. She has apologized for how the move impacted me, for example, and she doesn't really want to upset anyone. The "head in the sand" stuff is still infuriating at times, but I think at this point it's much like your coworker - I have to figure out how to manage my relationship with her. It was actually progress for me to fire back an email after the calendar thing, and ask, "So does this mean the dinner with Noa is canceled?" I think I'd have avoided the conflict in the past. Someone who's got blinders on sometimes needs another person to jump in front of them with their hands waving, though, so to hell with the conflict avoidance at this point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I work with someone very much like that - the world revolves around her - and wow, she is extremely frustrating to deal with. Now that I am her manager, I have been so perplexed as to how to deal with her, and my boss has told me that she has never had to manage anyone like her before. We both have to strategize how to handle her.
Best of luck there. We've got some difficult situations here as well, and it's certainly exercising every management skill I have (and making me painfully aware of the ones I don't). Vacation can't come soon enough.
__________________
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 10), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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  #118  
Old 03-07-2014, 02:13 PM
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Default Interesting side thought...

So an interesting side thought came up last night.

Chops was talking about how the guy Xena was on the date with during the nut-tastrophe hasn't gotten back in touch with her yet, which he found odd because the guy was usually very communicative. Chops then went on to say how we're spoiled with the level of communication we have with each other, and how it's tough when you don't get it from others.

My response was that, well, this guy hasn't really known her all that long, and they're still in the "dating" phase - maybe it's a bit too soon to expect that level of communication and give-and-take that the three of us have.

Pretty typical conversation, except there's one thing I didn't say, and that's the fact that if I'd been the guy, that nut incident (and lack of ability to do anything about it) would have wigged me right the eff out.

There's a fine line between being Chops' friend and being Chops' partner, and it sucks when I'm conflicted about which direction to go in. Having THAT conversation could be construed as "anti-Xena" and raise his hackles up, and I don't really want to come across as catty, or like I'm trying to badmouth her to him and cowgirl him away.

If I were simply a friend with no stake in this at all, I'd probably have said it - that maybe he's wigged out and maybe this is why (although he really should SAY something to her, rather than just ignore it until it goes away).

Instead, I sit and bite my tongue, and Chops comes to a different conclusion entirely, which is that I don't give a rat's ass about Xena's date and would like to talk about something else.

I suppose if he brings it up again, I'll try to figure out how to delicately say *something* without sounding like I'm trashing Xena. I just hate trying to meter my own words when, if it were truly just a friendship, I'd have said something by now. It's not easy coming across as a neutral party when I'm really not. Bleh.

OTOH, I'm looking forward to a fun weekend in NYC with my daughter's dance group (yes, I'm apparently a dance mom, although I'm not a "Dance Mom"). I think we'll be stalking the Today Show on Monday morning, so if you see a sea of girls in blue, I'll be among the pack of moms. <wave>
__________________
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 10), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk

Last edited by YouAreHere; 03-07-2014 at 02:15 PM. Reason: Exztra lestters ihn randgom plxaces
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  #119  
Old 03-08-2014, 12:49 AM
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Oh, PM me! I'm off work on Saturday, maybe I could meet you for a quick coffee or bite. You want references, ask Opalescent - she's met me!
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Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
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  #120  
Old 03-11-2014, 07:28 PM
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Wish I could have met up with you, NYC - as it is, I am completely cooked from a way-too-busy itinerary and an early morning so the girls could get on the Today Show. However, they all had a great time, and DID manage to get on TV, so yay that.

Next time I'm there sans kids (and sans Dance Moms), I would be HAPPY to meet up. I'm dying for some non-mediocre food right now... Seriously, I HATE eating at chain restaurants (or gimmicky ones) when I'd rather get some good, local food.

In other news...
Xena got approached by a friend who hosts a podcast - she and Chops will be interviewed re. "poly" (which makes me laugh, because the "what is poly" question can be answered so many different ways, it'd take up an entire series of podcasts on its own). Her friend wanted to talk tonight, but she pushed her off until she could talk about it with me and Chops. No real names (especially since I'm not completely open about it with everyone, and really don't want the attention anyway), thankfully. And I got to see some examples of things her friend would like to talk about.

Should be interesting... we're skyping tomorrow night for our next "powwow" and we'll discuss this then (although I fired back an email with some of my responses, since I didn't want to forget and NOT address anything, and I didn't want to go unrepresented, either - it'll be nice to have a poly interview with the perspective of a mono partner too, I think).

We're also going to finalize our "safe sex" talk, since their other relationships may be starting to develop into something more physical.

I find it interesting, and oddly amusing, that I have ZERO problem with the sexual side of Chops being poly, but GOD FORBID something impacts our time together. It sends him for a loop when I'm actually the one to shrug and say, "I don't really care" about something, but Xena is the one to go, "But hold on a minute..." It's kind of nice to not ALWAYS be the "wait a minute" girl.
__________________
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 10), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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