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  #31  
Old 08-04-2013, 06:56 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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If other local people you know are wondering if he's BPD that could tell you that something here is NOT right. Maybe he's BPD, maybe he's not. Not everyone is a doctor, but for sure you are not happy with him like this.

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Many people have said the same thing about BPD. I dont know. Whatever it is I somehow provoke this. I get upset bc I dont understand it.
I am sure it is frustrating to not understand how you provoke it. You probably don't. It's probably HIM.
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I think its time I just let him go bc I love him too much to let this continue. All I want is for him to find peace and happiness. Thats not with me in the picture. I do know I cant live this way anymore.
Sounds reasonable. The "push-pull hot-cold" thing doesn't feed you any and you are tired of all this. It's ok to leave and it's ok to spend some time processing before moving on.

Quote:
At times I feel his behaviour is emotionally abusive. Im not saying he is emotionally abusive or doing it purposely. Thats just what it feels like.
I wish him the best.
You sound like you are firm on breaking up. That's good for YOUR mental and emotional well-being. WTG!

But just in case it helps you STAY broken up and stick to it... since you bring up emotional abuse? Could check the list:

http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/u...urphy-2010.pdf

Whether he does those abusive things from "evil" or from "illness" doesn't matter. If he's being abusive toward you, it is still abusive either way. And either way? You do NOT deserve to be abused. Nobody deserves to be abused.

You could keep you out of the line of fire.

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 08-04-2013 at 07:03 PM.
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  #32  
Old 08-05-2013, 08:55 PM
Feria Feria is offline
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Well I found out from him that his wife wants to get remarried and wants monogamy only from him. So he is ending his relationship with me and will no longer be poly. That he has a special connectin with me and wants to remain friends. that he is going to suppress is feelings for me. That he only wants his wife.
I am in disbelief. Wish he would have figured this out before I got back with him almost two months ago after a 16 month relationship. I don't know if I should pull my hair out and run screaming. I am very confused and extremely hurt
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  #33  
Old 08-06-2013, 01:35 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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I'm sorry. It's not fun to feel.

Sounds like staying broken up is the way to go -- even more so now. Maybe not be friends -- esp if he causes you this much mental/emotional anguish. Don't poke your own bear, ykwim?

Give yourself time to heal.

Hang in there.

GG
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  #34  
Old 08-06-2013, 01:53 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by Feria View Post
I don't know if I should pull my hair out and run screaming. I am very confused and extremely hurt
If pulling your hair out and running screaming will help you feel better and/or move forward, then you should go ahead with that.
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