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  #1  
Old 08-10-2013, 07:45 PM
Gabriella Gabriella is offline
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Default Keeping busy

When your SO is out with someone else, what do you do with your time? My hubby is out of town visiting a new playmate and I'm kinda at a loss on what to do with myself.
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Old 08-10-2013, 08:16 PM
moonlitwish moonlitwish is offline
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I sat in a parking lot and cried, texted my other loves, and tried studying for my exam. Granted I was 6 hours from home and asked not to get myself a hotel room so I didn't really have a lot of options known to me. If I wasn't such an introvert I may have gone out, but being in a strange city alone didn't inspire my confidence of that being a good idea. We only tried once in my home and I did not appreciate giving up my bed, so I paced the halls. I feel guilty for not feeling ok about B & L being alone when J is not there to distract me.
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Old 08-10-2013, 08:35 PM
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Inyourendo Inyourendo is online now
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Well if hes hosting I take the kids out to dinner or go out with a friend. Usually he leaves so I just go about my usual business. He ususlly plans his dates while I'm at work or school so we don't lose time together.I work 2 ovns a week so that's his chance to have someone spend the night
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Old 08-10-2013, 08:37 PM
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Inyourendo Inyourendo is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonlitwish View Post
I sat in a parking lot and cried, texted my other loves, and tried studying for my exam. Granted I was 6 hours from home and asked not to get myself a hotel room so I didn't really have a lot of options known to me. If I wasn't such an introvert I may have gone out, but being in a strange city alone didn't inspire my confidence of that being a good idea. We only tried once in my home and I did not appreciate giving up my bed, so I paced the halls. I feel guilty for not feeling ok about B & L being alone when J is not there to distract me.
Why didn't you get your own room?
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Old 08-10-2013, 08:57 PM
Flowerchild Flowerchild is offline
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Default Hmmmm

Well, I'm assuming you have a healthy relationship with your SO, so why don't you try to coordinate schedules? So that you're with your other SO(s) when he's gone on the weekend.

If you don't have any other primary relationships and you're not dating at the moment, it can be harder to be alone, BUT....

...remember that your first primary should always be yourself If you don't have a partner around you, go out and do something fun on your own I might be weird, but I'll just go out to a festival or something, figure I'll bump into new friends, and I usually do. Most people will be out with groups of friends, and if they see you all on your own, will often include you if you ask (and think you're SOOOO brave for venturing out on your own!)
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Old 08-10-2013, 09:41 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabriella View Post
When your SO is out with someone else, what do you do with your time? My hubby is out of town visiting a new playmate and I'm kinda at a loss on what to do with myself.
Regardless of the fact that your partner is off doing something without you, it is very important to have something going on in your life. Some people are goal driven so they are working on a new project, some people are socially driven so they go to different "meetup" type groups, some people are promiscuous so they have various lovers they visit... whatever works. The important thing is that you do what you want to do and avoid looking at life through your experiences with someone else. "Serious" couples have a tendency to forget that they are individuals and neglect their personal needs and desires. I find this to be a bad habit.

What did you do with your time before you and your husband hooked up? What do you do when he's off camping with the guys? Is this the first time you've been alone?

The question is, what would you like to be doing right now? You have some free time, go do it!
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  #7  
Old 08-10-2013, 09:49 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is online now
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Crafts, spend time with my other partners or friends.
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Old 08-10-2013, 10:17 PM
moonlitwish moonlitwish is offline
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Originally Posted by Inyourendo View Post
Why didn't you get your own room?
I wanted to but money is tight and B assured me that she and L wanted me to be with them after. Later this all proved to be untrue and I was stuck kicking myself. Lesson learned in communication.
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  #9  
Old 08-10-2013, 11:36 PM
PaperGrace PaperGrace is offline
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If you have kids, I suppose this doesn't apply. Someone posted this video on another site and I really liked it.

How to be alone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs

Like any practice, it takes some time to get used to and then get good at.

Last edited by PaperGrace; 08-10-2013 at 11:40 PM. Reason: typo
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  #10  
Old 08-11-2013, 03:19 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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As a homebody and and introvert, I am often home by myself - which is fine by me. Sometimes it is because the boys are out (concerts, festivals, socializing, etc - stuff I have chosen not to participate in), sometimes it is because they are working on a project, sometimes it is because they are asleep. So it is not terribly different if I am home by myself (or with only one of the boys) for whatever reason, including a date.

I generally do the same things that I do when the boys are here - poke around on the internet (including reading/posting on these forums), play my MMORG, read a book, etc. We are all good with being together in the same place while doing our own things. We all live together so we have lots of "together" time when we want it with no pressure to force "togetherness" into short periods of time. Interestingly, they end up spending more awake time together than I do with either one (or both) of them - since I work more than full-time and need to sleep on a schedule.

The most recent posts in my "Notebook" blog on this site talk about my feelings/experiences while Dude has been out on his first 2 OKC dates. Some of the time I had MrS with me, some of the time he was home but asleep, some of the time I was home by myself. All Good.

JaneQ
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Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3 yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS; married to TT, poly male
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


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