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Old 07-12-2017, 01:44 PM
DesertFlower DesertFlower is offline
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Default Dear God please

I'm not sure where to begin. Except to ask myself why? Why the lies and deception. Sabatouge? I think jealousy. I cannot explain it to myself or anyone else except jealousy. And jealousy is about trust isn't it?
And so I begin to tell this tale. I'll start I guess with my first red flag. Or if you'd like rounds in a boxing match. There are no gloves. But I think a referee is needed. No bruises blackened eyes or other physical injuries. The injuries are all internal.this I think are the most serious. And sometimes harder to heal.
Chapter 1) first red flag...my sister in law tells the woman I'm trying to get to know better that I'm in love with someone else. My ears cannot believe I heard this. I didn't respond. It was said in hopes I wasn't in ear shot. But I did. So this set my brain to thinking. But I let it go. My conclusion was ok how could anyone else know how I feel? What I feel? They can't. Another thought was ok the woman I'm interested in is an adult. Would she not be able to judge for herself think for herself? Or darn it just come right out and ask me? But no. She doesn't.
Chapter2) second red flag. My sister in law has an awful relationship between her and my brother. All they do is fight and argue. I still have a difficult time understanding why two people are so full of hate. The terrible things they say to each other. More and more damage and pain.
My sister in law shows up for a visit unannounced. With some leftovers and a six pack. Ding ding ding! Round one begins. I'm wondering what is the purpose of this visit? Well I find out soon enough. She also cannot " hold her drink" . I was expecting something like this. Could see this coming a mile away. It was just a matter of time before something happened and feelings would be hurt.
It's just us. Here talking of many things. We needed a buffer. There were also many moments with uncomfortable silence. I was thinking yup here it comes. She just doesn't know or hasn't figured out a way to manipulate this.......yet.About an hour goes by. She's had enough to drink now. I can see it. Hear it. I feel her vibes I felt anger jealousy a meanness in her I never seen before.
My brother stops by to walk her home. Immediately she flew into a rage. She was angry with me also. Apologies to me redirected her anger again to brother. Stomped out and down the driveway. Moments later she's calling him. I can hear her yelling screaming even though I'm 5 to 6 ft. away. She continues. Brother gets frustrated and leaves. I'm alone now. I'm thanking my lucky stars. Peace and quiet again.
Chapter 3) the woman I'm interested in text me she's on her way over. Now that perked my ears right up. Yay! But not. On the way over to my place she stops at sister in law house. Immediately I knew what was going to happen and it did. Sometimes people are very predictable aren't they. She lies tells my new friend I started the fight. That I didn't accept her apologies. Thing is I really didn't want to discuss any of this until later after she was not intoxicated. That didn't happen either. She cries calls texts me for a few hours. I get called stupid and accused of being a liar.
Sister in law calls again. She's still drunk yelling screaming at me. I just hang up. I'm not going to let this continue. Let's try to calm this I'm thinking. Besides it is late. I'm tired ready for bed. She texted me again. Telling me my brother said he was staying here for the night. But he had left hours ago. I tell her this. She says basically I'm lying again. I tell her ok now look. You succeeded​ in your task of ruining the relationship or any chance of one between myself and my new friend. She had no response.
Chapter 4) It's morning the day after. No one has made any​ attempt to try to find a solution or try to mend these broken hearts and feelings. I didn't sleep well. Cried myself to sleep. But the other people probably stayed up all night still drinking and making it even worse.
My final conclusion? Yes she very jealous of me and my new friend. Jealous of what she doesn't have. Love trust respect kindness forgiveness. I have these gifts in myself. She does not. My next conclusion is,if the new relationship ever did become a serious one what would be done to further damage it. I think some people are like vampires. They drain your very life every emotion until your empty or you sever that tie with them.
So I'll just wait it out. Let them sober up. Shower coffee breakfast. And see if anyone is going to say oh my God what have I done to Julie 🐦. Then again it's easier to let me go as a friend then face up to what has been done.
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Old 07-12-2017, 11:45 PM
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Shaya Shaya is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2017
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Hi Julie

Sorry for the pain. That sounds like a god-awful crappy day.

I'd like to think that if you can see the negative aspect of your sister in law, then others can to. While it's disheartening to have anyone speak ill of us, and even more so to speak ill of us to someone we're crushing on, I'd like to think a chat with your new romantic interest may allow her to see the real you for herself rather than rely on someone else's opinion.

Just quietly rooting for you and your love life here.

Good luck,
Shaya.

P.S: You're posting in the blog section. In case you weren't sure how this works, the blog is your section. If you want it as a place to vent without input from the rest of the forum, just say so and we'll stop posting. Others seem to like the feedback from the forum and the blogs end up with more of other people's posts than their own. It's entirely up to you, Julie. Best wishes.
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