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  #31  
Old 07-08-2013, 05:37 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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As for what I was doing Saturday into Sunday. I was at home with my children SOLO BECAUSE BOTH MY HUSBAND AND BOYFRIEND WERE WORKING. ONE WORKS 3PM TO 11PM. THE OTHER WORKS 6PM TO 6AM.

Both are off the next 2 to 3 days. Had a family date with my husband and children this morning. Went to breakfast and to see a movie. Right now I am at my boyfriend's house getting ready to crawl in bed with him for some solo time without my kids. This weekend my kids and I will be spending with my boyfriend from Friday to Monday. Our usual routine every other weekend. Unless it is every 6 weeks then the kids stay with hubby.

I am happy with my boyfriend and husband not looking for another partner. Unlike you I didn't have to go trolling online for one. Never have had too.

Maybe you should read my signature or look at my posting history before you suggest I have no right to speak on poly issues. Last time I checked I am the one with multiple life partners.

I don't doubt your love style. I just doubt your integrity.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #32  
Old 07-08-2013, 06:10 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramina View Post


Wow... I suggest you reread my OP. My wife is bi, & I'm a straight male. The poly experiences I alluded to were mine; not hers.
*sigh*

What a way to totally misunderstand the question put to you.

Wow...
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  #33  
Old 07-08-2013, 07:26 PM
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Ramina Ramina is offline
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Originally Posted by Natja View Post
I said nothing of the sort, but if you refuse to accept it, I can't possibly do more to show you. I am talking from the pov of someone reading your post, which I did, with an open mind, we have Unicorn hunters coming out of our ears in this section of the forum, did you even bother to read a few posts before you wrote your amazingly original post?
When single, I read far more demanding posting from online personals. Yet instead of attacking the poster, I went through their list & see what I had. If I had even half of what they required, I took my shot. Whereas people like you, call it Unicorn Hunting, as if the people honest enough to say what they want off the bat are seeking something impossible. That's the difference between others & people like me. I accept the challenges of others, not begrudge them for being honest in what they require. This concepts seems foreign to most posters of this thread. My experience here thus far, has me torn between hilarity & pity for the insecure.

I'm sorry, but I must reiterate. I didn't have this amount of time to spend on forums when single. Maybe I'm just a different animal. Perhaps I'm a Unicorn. Maybe we Unicorns are typically partial to other Unicorns, because those like you try to prevent others like you, from hunting us, because you failed.

...mind Blown.

Sounds like crabs in a barrel to me. The Crab cannot have the Unicorn, because of the crab(s) below it...


Quote:
Originally Posted by Natja View Post
Of course you didn't, you come on here thinking that you are saying something new and then get defensive when you are challenged, well sorry dude you can join the long line of couples who went before you thinking the exact same thing.
You realize we're not the, "Turn the other cheek type" right Natja? As I mentioned before--essentially, those who have so little self esteem or confidence that our OP has shaken them to the point of attacking or wanting to attack us, aren't what we're seeking from the start.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Natja View Post
If you get any replies to it at all I will be prepared to eat my words but I can assure you, no one would be interested in what you are offering, not because there is no one who fits your Unicorn mould, but because of the way you write it. It comes across badly and your defensive replies just add to that, tell me, who do you think would be attracted to you, who has such little self esteem?
Are you suggesting we're immature enough to parade our success just to prove someone wrong? Do you imply we are crabs like you, Natja? My wife & I aren't here to lift people we're uninterested in, from their cynicism & pessimism. Frankly, that's the task of either the person interested in them, or themselves Natja.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Natja View Post
Of course, the high divorce rate is down entirely to not being honest about what one wants...nothing else, nothing at all...there you go, you have solved the problem of marital discord, now you can go forth and teach people as you clearly have all the answers.....
Name one divorce or any dissolution of a romance in which dishonesty is not at the root. Can you now see how that kind of naivety would incline us to disregard your input Natja?
You seem to continue promoting dishonesty, instead of allowing candidates to read what's expected of them before they take the first step towards a poster. Isn't this process supposed to be safer & more efficient than being in person? Anyone who aims to disrupts this potential for safety & efficiency, seems preoccupied to engender onto others, the loneliness they suffer without any regard to the OP's circumstances nor the prerequisites set so the OP enjoys a closer match made.

As for teaching others, I've actually taught many. However crabs are often so challenging they're un-teachable without fracturing their stubborn shell. If the Crab's shell breaks, they die & that's not helpful either.


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Originally Posted by Natja View Post
Exactly, Dude, she was your FRIEND, you did not advertise for her like you are ordering from Friends.com!
If you re-write that post from a monogamy pov do you think she would have responded to it...in fact why don't you and Mrs UnicornHunter, give that a go, have a little exercise, re-write your OP as if for monogamy tell me how enticing it looks to you. There is a world of difference between falling into something with a friend you have known (same as your wife)...and seeking Unicorns, trust me, you won't find anyone posting such a profile, putting hearts in it makes no difference, it doesn't make it look any better.....
...I see. You seem rely on deception & suggest we do the same? How's that working out for you so far?
It's best to be clear & concise from the beginning to reduce confusion. We don't need to pretend being something we're not. That's for Crabs.

In case I wasn't clear, she knew about me long before we were ever even acquainted. She knew what I was about, because as you can see...I'm not shy. In all of this imminent potential for disaster, she--just like a confident, reasonable, strong, woman should, steeled herself & took the time learn more about me. We knew or were familiar with many of the same people on campus & work. Although I was as discreet as possible, what most people knew about me was:
  1. He's in Adult Entertainment &...
  2. Perpetually in the company of different women whom aren't modest in their intimacy with him.

That's it. At the time, we shared the same school, job, even the same dance clubs. In each of these places, when she asked about or referred to me, those two things were basically all they had to say about me. According to those & most people, I was just a player.
Hence, as you can see...I'm no stranger to prejudice, & am quick to set someone straight when they address me with their, self-important, pretentious, assumptions.
By studying me from afar, she realized it was also possible to be more open with me. My behaviors validated parts of herself she's wanted to explore but were discouraged by general society. You see, she became my friend because of who she learned I am. That friendship is the bridge led to our marriage; not your conjecture that we were friends first. She studied me & measure if we'd be a good fit first, Natja.

Looking back, she must be a Unicorn because there were & still are numerous people admiring her. Often they claim to be in love with her, without ever having even talking with her in person. The same could be said of me, as we both continuously get, approached in public, nude pictures & videos to our phone of people claiming to like or love us.
This Unicorn idea's subjective at best. The kind of person that may seem impossible to someone who's often endured rejection, may not be so to those rejected less often. In fact, this idea seems also relative to the amount of rejection one received, or presumes they'd receive, from people to which they're attracted. Maybe once a person reaches a threshold of rejection, they become Crabs like you or worse, Troll-Crabs like Cindie.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Natja View Post
Looking more attractive every moment..........
The poly-adjacent are often envious people; Crab-people.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Natja View Post
And with that one line you lose any minute credibility you had.
I lost credibility with someone who refuses to provide an example of their polyamorism on a Polyamory forum, but attacks posters when presented with the chance to prove themselves?
Woe is me. Woe woe is me. My life is over...

As I previous stated, we don't believe you & Cindie are truly poly at all. I personally think you're just a spectator. It was that moment, I realized not to take anything you share to heart; poly-adjacent. Call it a loss in credibility in you, or whatever you want. I'm quite apathetic towards you at the moment.
If your posting numbers were comparable to Cindie's or your comments were as cliché, baseless, & mediocre as that Crab Emm's, we wouldn't even address you, & you know it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Natja View Post
Good luck to you both, I hope you come back and tell us of the great success you are having taking this road but somehow...I doubt it.
Thank you Natja. We too hope you find success without, pretending to be someone else or lowering your standards to escape loneliness by relationships that will only lead you back to solitude. We too doubt you can.

Onward & upward

Last edited by Ramina; 07-09-2013 at 03:48 AM.
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  #34  
Old 07-08-2013, 07:40 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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[...yawn...]
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The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
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  #35  
Old 07-08-2013, 07:46 PM
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Ramina Ramina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
As for what I was doing Saturday into Sunday. I was at home with my children SOLO BECAUSE BOTH MY HUSBAND AND BOYFRIEND WERE WORKING. ONE WORKS 3PM TO 11PM. THE OTHER WORKS 6PM TO 6AM.

Both are off the next 2 to 3 days. Had a family date with my husband and children this morning. Went to breakfast and to see a movie. Right now I am at my boyfriend's house getting ready to crawl in bed with him for some solo time without my kids. This weekend my kids and I will be spending with my boyfriend from Friday to Monday. Our usual routine every other weekend. Unless it is every 6 weeks then the kids stay with hubby.

I am happy with my boyfriend and husband not looking for another partner. Unlike you I didn't have to go trolling online for one. Never have had too.

Maybe you should read my signature or look at my posting history before you suggest I have no right to speak on poly issues. Last time I checked I am the one with multiple life partners.

I don't doubt your love style. I just doubt your integrity.
Now you understand what it means to be a victim of presumption, maybe you take a moment to Think before you attack strangers who've done no harm to you. How does it feel Dagferi? Do you comprehend how that causes oneself to uncomfortably share of themselves details they ordinarily wouldn't? Can you now value how essential being conscientious is when replying to someone, because they may respond in the very manner you've initiated?

Those are my points with you, because honestly I couldn't care less about you, & vice versa. Right? Exactly.

Anyways...

Rhetorically, why would you doubt my integrity when I've only been honest, & believe your negative opinion of any importance to me?

I'm done with you. Thank you for your time Dagferi.
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  #36  
Old 07-08-2013, 08:00 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Lol those details I would share anytime ..

Proof happy healthy fair poly vee relationships exist.. gasp the horror.

You have not made me uncomfortable.. you just proved my points with your asinine replies. Thanks for doing the heavy lifting for me.

Proves the old saying give someone enough rope they will hang themselves.

You have shown your true colors good luck with the hunt now. Any woman worth her salt will run the opposite direction.

Good luck to you.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #37  
Old 07-08-2013, 08:26 PM
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Ramina Ramina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
Lol those details I would share anytime ..

Proof happy healthy fair poly vee relationships exist.. gasp the horror.

You have not made me uncomfortable.. you just proved my points with your asinine replies. Thanks for doing the heavy lifting for me.

Proves the old saying give someone enough rope they will hang themselves.

You have shown your true colors good luck with the hunt now. Any woman worth her salt will run the opposite direction.

Good luck to you.
Really? Where else in this forum did you delineate your entire working schedule to a stranger who has never had any interest in you? Did we approach you, or you to us?

BTW, that 60/40 ratio may be sufficient for you & I'm glad you're satisfied with those numbers. However when we had our first LTR triad, we all lived together. There was no separation.

Here's your rope back Dagferi. Why not use it to rope in your 3rd full time or are you afraid that such commitment would disprove your happiness? Exactly.

We work from home dear. We can do this dance throughout the day, exposing your foolishness via your replies then prompting you to do so again like some Palov experiment--like with Cindie (notice her begging for attention from us she's probably unaware she'll never gain), or you can save yourself the embarrassment.

Your choice.
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  #38  
Old 07-08-2013, 08:40 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
[...yawn...]
In triplicate....
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  #39  
Old 07-08-2013, 08:52 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Wow, I don't think I have seen my username typed out so many times either....I grew bored of seeing it to be honest, not that I read much of that little exercise in textual masturbation.

So much aggression and attack, attack, attack....bet you are just reeling in the unicorns with your little diatribe OP? Does it make you feel like a big strong man eh? My experience of men who engage in such a way is they are usually painfully insecure and like to throw out the very traits they like to accuse other's of. You must be lonely, you must be insecure...blah blah blah....

You must be bit of a sad case who doesn't have the confidence to see his wife in a relationship without him present.....Maybe you are afraid she would leave you because she is so way out of your league?
Perhaps your past makes you insecure eh??

You see OP, anyone can make nonsense up from a few words on a keyboard, it is meaningless. You don't know any of us and your words do not hurt us, most of us are not here looking for partners, you are, therefore you are only hurting yourself or wait and yes, your wife, by engaging in such behaviour. Or do you honestly think this ad is a success...

Toodle pip you totally engaging, handsome, charming, lovely fellow...bet the girls are just throwing themselves on you innit Mr. Oilpainting?

Oooh yes I see it now......

*cough*
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  #40  
Old 07-08-2013, 09:33 PM
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Ramina Ramina is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natja View Post
You must be bit of a sad case who doesn't have the confidence to see his wife in a relationship without him present.....Maybe you are afraid she would leave you because she is so way out of your league?
Perhaps your past makes you insecure eh??
That would be certainly true, if there were times we didn't play apart from each other. We're Swingers too remember? Nice try Natja, but you missed.
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