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Old 07-03-2013, 03:35 AM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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Default Rather anti-climatic

After my last triad failed (I have been involved in two - the first wildly successful coming to an end only after death; the other due to the low emotional IQ of one of the parties), I was so devastated, that while I didn't flaunt it, for anyone who wanted to know who I was, I told them my history. It wasn't a calculated choice - i simply didn't care. While I will admit that my peer group at the time was comprised of business college instructors; no under-educated persons in the bunch, they ranged from one woman who practices bdsm to another who finds much comfort for her religious ideas. Regardless, no one raised so much as an eyebrow about my polyamorous proclivities. Everyone accepted it as a personal choice.

I will say this, I did have the advantage of always having my parents' acceptance. They had polyamorous relationships themselves. So I never had a lack of parental acceptance in regard to my choices. Despite my pain, this probably gave me more strength than those who operate without familial support. Also, I have no children, so another issue which makes my revelations easy - I am the only one who has to face the consequences.

I wanted to post this because I hear so many people say they are afraid to reveal they who are. I am wondering how much of the fear is overdone?

And I live in the heart of the Bible Belt - Wichita Kansas.
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Old 07-03-2013, 03:57 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

Obviously how "overdone" the fear is, is a matter of opinion.
But we are out, with kids, some parents are ok, a few are not.
Employers are aware, school, friends, family, etc.
Nobody really cares, some are more curious than others at first, but in the long run, they are all busy living their lives.

And I am aware of several poly families with children in our area who are out and they have no issues either.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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Old 07-03-2013, 05:36 AM
Nadya Nadya is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 528

This is something I have been thinking about lately. I am out as "theoretically" poly to quite a few people, but only my closest friends know about my other relationship. Both my guys are worried about my employment if anyone would find out... I myself start to be less and less worried. I know that my reputation at work is good as honest and reliable worker - why would this change if they knew about my private life?
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Old 07-05-2013, 01:34 AM
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NovemberRain NovemberRain is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 712

So far, no one has rejected me for it. I do, however, have one acquaintance for whom I've lost a lot of respect for the snide comments I get since I outed myself to her. Fortunately, we're not close. When I started, and was on an NRE high with the mere fact that my loves were POSSIBLE, I was a bit disappointed that everyone didn't want to talk about with me. But I get it, I can understand how mono people feel threatened by me and my 'outness.'

I think if I was living with more than one full time, I would want to be more out (like work). As I've aged, I've gotten more comfortable with the fact that not every piece of me is anyone's business. A lot of people I work with, I would NOT invite home to dinner. If that's true, then why would I want to tell them such things?

All that said, I have no kids to risk. There are nutted up grandparents out there with weird notions about what they need to protect their grandchildren from.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein

Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who now lives in a house far away-with stairs I can't climb)
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Old 07-05-2013, 03:35 AM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 757

Yes. If I had children, I would probably be exceptionally cautious.

That said, I have found that people are pretty accepting. Like you, I don't discuss it with everyone. Perhaps my screening process is pretty good.
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