Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-03-2013, 04:36 PM
nondastardlyduo nondastardlyduo is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1
Default damn NRE

This is my very first post. I'm very compelled to speak of my first poly experience and the things that happened to me and maybe why they happened. Ive been together with my spouse for 7 years, some ups and some downs but for the general life of it our times been wonderful. Poly has helped me, sometimes reluctantly to face issues in my own life. Always seeming to be looking away from my own relationship for the things i need to feel absolutly complete. Of course during this process robbing my wife of aspects of my attention that i just couldnt grant her whole heatedly. My love in its entirety. The fighting its caused is unbearable. Both parties hurting all the time. We try swinging, doesnt work. We try hooking up, still not enough. For me anyway. We try poly. Its a series of highs and lows. The riddle of my search is over.. i get it, I see what i have been looking for. I never got to experience NRE with my wife. When we met i was truely broken.. a very bad abusive relationship that nearly destroyed me. While she was in it with me, i wasnt totally in it with her. So.. i find someone that want to be in love with both of us, shes beautiful, shes caring, shes all the things one could hope for in a girlfriend. It hit me like a tidal wave... NRE. Without anything to hold be back from really enjoying it for what it is. I have to admit, i feel like a junkie, while my wife was incredibly unhappy i was wrapped up completely in it without her, i was completely selfish and blind to her pain. She had slammed on the brakes very very hard, and i just couldnt grant her that. In my mind stopping was out of the question. I wanted for her to experience the feeling i was experiencing. Like a junkie, i would have done anything to keep it, said anything, and done anything. i am in love with her, and her. Both for different reasons. My dilemma is the compromise. Im not entirely sure if poly specifically is for me, its exposed everything close to the surface, and im sure it would have continued to expose more. It helps me to realize the importance of things like balance, honesty, when to keep things in the grey area and when a whole honest truth needs to be told.
Reply With Quote
Old 07-03-2013, 05:25 PM
Derbylicious's Avatar
Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603

Unfortunately you can't change the past with what happened at the beginning of your relationship with your spouse. No matter how much you wish things could have been different it is what it is and all you can do now is to move forward. There's nothing quite like poly to bring up every insecurity and hurt that you've ever had in your relationships and shine a really bright light on them.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
Reply With Quote
Old 07-03-2013, 06:03 PM
Dagferi's Avatar
Dagferi Dagferi is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,791

Adding people to a broken relationship never ends well.
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 50/50 split of time between my two husbands.
Reply With Quote
Old 07-04-2013, 07:27 PM
Amnati Amnati is offline
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 20

Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
Adding people to a broken relationship never ends well.
No kidding, even adding people to already solid relationships can be rocky and painful.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 01:03 PM.