Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 06-27-2013, 02:58 PM
Wifeto2 Wifeto2 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 31
Default

[QUOTE=Natja;212223]NRE can turn people into beasts and can be very selfish, it seems like you are locked out of everything because there is very little else left in him at the moment.

i can understand that reasoning. Just sucks being the one on the outside


Right, ok, I am glad I was wrong about that.



Absolutely, but do you really think what you want is another partner? Or is what you really want is attention from your current ones? Because if it IS the latter than getting a former won't really solve your true needs.[QUOTE=Natja;212223]


that is def something to think about. And if I did look for another partner it wouldn't happen overnight. Like I said I move slow.

Last edited by Wifeto2; 06-27-2013 at 03:02 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 06-27-2013, 03:05 PM
Wifeto2 Wifeto2 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 31
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
I am sorry you hurt.

Sounds like poly hell.

Perhaps reading that together could help you guys salvage / learn from it and set the polyship back on course.

Or if you are done, and feel like you don't want to be in polyship with GF or DH any more... could shelve it for a time. (You pick the time -- a day, week, only you know how much you have to think through. ) If you are still done with them in that time? You are still done with them.

But could not make major life changing choices while in an high emotional state. YKWIM? Could take a time out to cool off and even if you come to the same conclusion that you want to break up with both of them -- you arrive at it from a cooler head kind of place free of emotional roller coaster wackies. And if not totally free -- at least "lower in volume" so you can form your next steps.

I can imagine it must feel very hard. Hang in there.

Galagirl
i read that last night. It makes complete sense. It fit completely. This has been hard. Very hard. I ve come to realize a lot about myself this past few weeks, I do like arrangements like this I just don't like to be completely ignored.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 06-27-2013, 03:22 PM
Wifeto2 Wifeto2 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 31
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gorgeouskitten View Post
I really hope you can work this out. Do you have any poly friendly therapists in your area? i know mine is immensely, helpful, and actually after i went to her BF and his spouse each started seeing her too (hubs has not, he has his own person for different mental health matters and is doing very well with poly). Im not going to call you rash, or be crude or mean or anything, you clearly do not need this right now. If what you need is space, take space, but i'd suggest not jumping right to divorce. Seperate maybe, and take some time to focus on you. What you need, waht makes you happy. I suggest reading the seven natural laws of love by deborah anapol.

My BF's wife is also struggling with our relationship, and some other issues (though if anything, he puts her needs over mine as gf) and i sincerely hope she doesnt come to this same conclusion, because I do not want to see him hurt. I hope GF in your situation feels the same way.

I also call BS on him not wanting you to get a bf. you deserve love and attention, but make sure you are taking care of yourself for yourself before introducing new people.

Best of luck, keep us posted

The closest therapist is in Boston,45 min away. We are not in the position financially to be able to pay for one. I have seperated myself away from both of them. He is on the road and she is sick. She is down here, I can't send her upstairs to take care of her children by herself with her being so sick. I tend to stay to myself when I'm like this and need to figure things out. I talked to gf this morning. I let her know that I'm not mad at her, I'm just emotionally tapped out. I told her I know I can be cold when I'm like this and I don't want her to think its her. I just have to work through things.
They have both said they are done for a bit as it seems to be so hard on me. I love seeing them interact and be loving towards each other. When I got upset was when I was getting nothing from either of them. I had to seek both of them out for attention. Our gf feels the same as you do. She doesn't want to see us split over her.

I appreciate the advice you guys/girls have given me. I realize that this new and I don't know nearly enough. Right now I am just numb. I m not feeling much of anything.

Last edited by Wifeto2; 06-27-2013 at 04:19 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 06-27-2013, 04:16 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,956
Default

Sounds like you are doing some soul searching then to determine if you are willing to try again or no longer willing.

Hang in there.

Galagirl
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:17 AM.