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Old 07-20-2009, 04:44 PM
CanadianPagan CanadianPagan is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 3
Default Love is a Gift

I am CanadianPagan. Nice to meet you all.

To tell you a little about myself, I am a single, bisexual, polyamorous, female who has been celibate for almost four years. Why, you may ask?

I have never really felt "right" in mono relationships, and while I was never into being a cheat, I often wanted to, and sometimes did, spend intimate time with people other than my partner, usually with their knowledge, though I'm not sure it was with consent. I wanted it all to be out there in the open, rather than a joke or an open secret. I wanted to talk about it. Over time, I have come to realize the major reason things never worked was a huge lack of communication all around.

The last relationship I had was my first poly one, with a married couple, but they were as new to the concept of poly as I was, and none of us really knew how to handle things. It felt more like swinging than truly a partnership. They would mostly spend time with me as a couple, rarely as individuals, so things weren't really able to develop naturally with myself and either of them. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed our time as a group, but I want a more equal partnership with people who understand that even couples are made up of individuals, and one-on-one time is essential. I very much felt like a "secondary" part of their lives, which just isn't me. Maybe they shared their feelings with each other (I don't really know), but I was left out of the loop, and their "rules" seemed to change without notice. I couldn't handle it anymore.

I thought maybe I just wasn't cut out for poly either, and thus chose to cut myself off completely from dating and relationships, but now I see myself more clearly. After lurking here, and doing more research on polyamory, I realize what the problem is, and I am debating trying again. I have so much love in my heart, and I feel deprived not giving it. I thought I would join so I have more support than last time (when I had none), and since I have seen mostly positive encouragement from the members of these boards, maybe it is the place for me.

Thanks for listening.
Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don't love to be loved, we love to love.
- Leo F. Buscaglia
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Old 07-20-2009, 05:19 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742

Welcome to the Forums! I'm sure you will get lots of support here..the people are great
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Old 07-20-2009, 08:34 PM
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WaywardDruid WaywardDruid is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Central California
Posts: 275
Default Hello & Welcome


Just Me,
Round & round the circle goes.
We seek the ones who will share in love.
In our dreams the answers come.
Round & round the circle goes.
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Old 07-20-2009, 11:05 PM
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foxflame88 foxflame88 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Birmingham, AL, USA
Posts: 582

Welcome to the group. I hope you find the people here as helpful, inviting, and inspiring as I have.
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful - provided you get between the right man and the right woman. ~Woody Allen
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Old 07-21-2009, 05:40 AM
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vandalin vandalin is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 520

Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.

Last edited by vandalin; 07-21-2009 at 05:47 AM.
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