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  #21  
Old 07-27-2013, 05:32 AM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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I wear a traditional engagement and wedding ring on my left hand and a silver celtic ring on my right hand as a "stand in" commitment ring. The idea is when TGIB and I have enough money for a commitment ceremony we'll get a better set of rings as well.

MC has no problem with the ring(s) or the commitment ceremony (which is good, since I didn't talk to him about the ring beforehand). He might even officiate when the time comes.
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  #22  
Old 07-27-2013, 06:53 PM
Razorbacktat Razorbacktat is offline
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I do the same thing, wedding ring on left, mans Celtic infinity circles on rt, H gave me both but they symbolize our triad, or the recently ended one. I gave both H and our girlfriend, Brown Iris, matching tri tone tripple intertwined hearts and twisted knots of infinity they wear/wore on rt hands, they interchanged them and usually matched each others. It symbolized our relationship to us but not off limits to anyone.H and I still wear our traditional wedding rings.
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  #23  
Old 07-31-2013, 06:37 PM
Flowerchild Flowerchild is offline
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Default One ring to rule them all

Am I the only one who believes in one ring per person? My idea is, my partner is married, has a ring. When it comes time for me to have a commitment ceremony, I want a ring to bind me to the polyship. But I think it's silly for me to give HIM a ring. I mean, suppose we acquire more partners into the polyship. What do we do if we have three other partners, that all want to intermarry? Does he end up wearing five rings? On what fingers?

I think it's just easiest that the wedding ring on the ring finger of the left hand (as custom dictates for me) symbolizes commitment to the group. That's all.

Then any of the two, three, whomever, can have commitment ceremonies to be married to each other, as their relationship develops. So, my ring might now signify being married simply to the one partner, but in future, might symbolize commitment to three or four....
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  #24  
Old 07-31-2013, 06:45 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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P and I "did rings" this year as part of our handfasting (we re-do it annually), and he and M1 did the same. They came up with a nice solution to the "how many rings" question by deciding to go with a theme: claddaghs. We all chose our own, wear them wherever the hell we want (I'm a left hand gal, P and M1 are righties), but it's our own personal symbols of commitment to our individual relationships.

P wears a band with multiple claddaghs. He was hoping to find a traditional-style claddagh with two hearts, but didn't get any leads from the jewelry makers he'd talked with. Ah well.
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  #25  
Old 07-31-2013, 07:51 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TRBG View Post
I'm in the same boat as Boring Guy in that my wife and I are legally married but never got into jewelry. As a joke when I first started seeing a new girlfriend who I ended up being with for a while I got her a ring out of a gumball machine. She kept it for a while and got mad at herself when she lost it (not sure if I remember correctly but I think it broke when she smacked her hand against a car window or something. At least that's the story she told me. She may have pawned it). For the gf and I the ring wasn't a symbol of commitment, it was a playful joke. "If you really loved me you would have gotten me the little car thingy."

Aww what a cute story.


Do Mardi Gras beads and binder clips count as "jewelry"?
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  #26  
Old 08-01-2013, 02:09 AM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flowerchild View Post
Am I the only one who believes in one ring per person? My idea is, my partner is married, has a ring. When it comes time for me to have a commitment ceremony, I want a ring to bind me to the polyship. But I think it's silly for me to give HIM a ring. I mean, suppose we acquire more partners into the polyship. What do we do if we have three other partners, that all want to intermarry? Does he end up wearing five rings? On what fingers?

I think it's just easiest that the wedding ring on the ring finger of the left hand (as custom dictates for me) symbolizes commitment to the group. That's all.

Then any of the two, three, whomever, can have commitment ceremonies to be married to each other, as their relationship develops. So, my ring might now signify being married simply to the one partner, but in future, might symbolize commitment to three or four....
It could get sticky if you end up having committed relationships with more than, say, 4 others. 2 rings per hand is about the max I'd want to wear. But up until I need to deal with, say, 5 rings, I prefer having a set of rings that symbolize my commitment to MC, and a set of rings that symbolizes my commitment to TGIB, since they ARE different entities. We are not in a triad or group marriage- if we were, I could see one set of rings for the group, but since we're not it doesn't make sense for us based on what I feel the rings symbolize. If it makes sense for you, cool!
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  #27  
Old 08-01-2013, 07:05 PM
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RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
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I don't do marriage, and Fly and I have never done any kind of ring exchange, too traditional for us. But a few years ago, while we were in Italy, he bought me a pendant for my birthday that is a symbol of a sport that has been a huge influence on his life, and now mine. Ever since, I've worn it as sort of a physical sign of commitment. When Moonlight and I became more serious, she gave me a pendant made out of art glass, and I've added it to the chain, so now I wear both of them all the time.

It's simpler than rings, and doesn't come with all the history and expectations and assumptions rings often do.
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  #28  
Old 08-02-2013, 07:31 AM
sybill sybill is offline
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Default i am new to all this

okay hello all I am new to all this, and i am currently dating my best friend and his new wife. The ring thing bothers me a lot. I feel that it makes us unbalanced like she is higher ranking than me. I am not sure how to get over the feeling that she is for lack of better words higher than me like we are not equal.
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  #29  
Old 08-02-2013, 12:06 PM
Eternaldarkness Eternaldarkness is offline
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My wife wears a wedding ring (from me) and a small pendant from her lover, though only because we're all too poor to buy a ton of jewelry. Before I lost my engagement ring, I wore it fairly infrequently. As has been mentioned earlier in western culture wedding rings tend to scream 'unavailable' and that isn't the case with me. Also, I tended to not wear it for purely practical reasons.

I have no problem with my wife wearing tokens of commitment and affection from her boyfriend; as far as i'm concerned he's just as important to her as I am.
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  #30  
Old 08-03-2013, 12:03 PM
JustUs JustUs is offline
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Hey, thanks for everyone's input so far. Just like everything else, there are many different thoughts and opinions on this topic, but different insights are good.
So far, nothing has come up about my wife's boyfriend getting her a ring, since the day I originally posted. I do feel though, with the friendship and respect that he and I have developed over the past year or so, that he would come to me and ask my thoughts or feelings on him buying her a ring.
As my wifes relationship gets better and better (yes, believe or not after 17 years it does continue to develop, deepen and get better each day) and her boyfriend and hers relationship grows and his and our friendship/respect grow, the more comfortable I am with her wearing a ring from him. Time will tell and I don't see it happening anytime soon, but I do off in the future.
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