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  #61  
Old 06-20-2013, 06:14 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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They are making your womb comfortable, not you. All they care about is your womb and its baby-making capabilities. They don't want you to be uspet or unhappy because then you might leave and take your womb with you.

Ask the friend who has a place for you to stay to send you some cash to get there. But didn't you say you work? Is your paycheck direct deposited to their bank account or something? If it is, change that right away!

Why can't you take your whole next paycheck and split? Geez, woman, think! Use your brain.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #62  
Old 06-20-2013, 06:21 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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They are just trying to keep you happy enough you won't leave.

You know like abusers who buy someone they are abusing to keep their silence and so they will allow the abuse to continue.

Gtfo.
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  #63  
Old 06-20-2013, 06:22 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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That couple you are mixed up with are using sweet words, PDA, and gestures as a way to bait you and convince you that they loveeeee you. Honey, they love your uterus and your ability to produce a child. They do not love you as a person. I guarantee if you bail on the plans to pop a baby out, they will turn on you. OP, I challenge you to tell them that you are not going to have a baby.

If you are still getting it on with the husband, are you at least on birth control? If not, I think you should get on it and not tell them. It is not uncommon for people to tamper with birth control and barrier methods as a way to force a pregnancy. Poking holes in condoms. Changing the birth control pills to something else. Might I suggest an IUD or an implant like Implanon/Nexplanon (not sure if either are available in the States), but they do have other BC implants that go in your arm?
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  #64  
Old 06-20-2013, 08:08 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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What FoL said about challenging you to tell them you changed your mind about having a baby? Instead, tell them you just found out you CAN'T get pregnant. Pick any condition that can make you infertile (PCOS is a good one) and say you just got a checkup and they found it. Act really distraught about it. See how they run.

Yes it's "dishonest" some people will complain, but you wouldn't be dishonest with yourself. If they pass the "test" by saying "that's ok, we love you for YOU" then that's ok, but that doesn't mean you should say "just kidding" until they SHOW you.
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  #65  
Old 06-20-2013, 08:18 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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FoL, i am surprised at you. You are a physician, no? You are educated and have some exposure to things that are not necessarily part of your everyday routine? With that in mind, have you ever seen how birth control pills come? They come in distinctively-shaped, sealed foil-and-plastic blister-packs, and depending on the formulation, the pills for various days can even be in different colors (not the placebos only). So, in order for someone else to change the pills and have the woman not notice, she would have to be so dumb or disoriented that she would not notice "hey, why are all of these pills punched out and put back in the package", or the person switching them would have to have access to the kind of equipment the drug companies use to package and seal the same exact product.

I could never understand this whole "switched the birth control pills" thing, as it makes absolutely no sense in reality.
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  #66  
Old 06-20-2013, 08:23 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Sorry about the extra post, it's easier than editing on the ipod.

One more thing - fuck "implants". Just get a depo-provera shot every 3 months.

I am going to guess that the OP doesn't have insurance that will pay for these more reliable forms of contrceptives, and is limited to methods that are available without prescription.
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  #67  
Old 06-20-2013, 08:38 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
Sorry about the extra post, it's easier than editing on the ipod.

One more thing - fuck "implants". Just get a depo-provera shot every 3 months.

I am going to guess that the OP doesn't have insurance that will pay for these more reliable forms of contrceptives, and is limited to methods that are available without prescription.
There are free and or sliding scale family planning clinics everywhere.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #68  
Old 06-20-2013, 08:41 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
There are free and or sliding scale family planning clinics everywhere.
Well spank my ass and call me Sally, who'da thunk it!

So much for the "can't afford it".
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  #69  
Old 06-20-2013, 09:19 PM
kittenkittykat kittenkittykat is offline
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I can only have certain BC due to migraines. Also, we agreed upon no BC so I personally am not putting my reproductive organs through hell. I don't believe inusing BC either.
L
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  #70  
Old 06-20-2013, 09:33 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kittenkittykat View Post
I can only have certain BC due to migraines. Also, we agreed upon no BC so I personally am not putting my reproductive organs through hell. I don't believe inusing BC either.
L

Well there you go! You definitely know what you want!

By the way, if you think birth control "puts your reproductive organs through hell", WAIT until you see what having a baby does to them. You will have a whole entire other idea of what "hell" is like. And it sounds like you're well on your way to finding out. Keep doing what you're doing and making the kind of choices that got you where you are, and you'll find out. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" could have been invented just for you.
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