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  #11  
Old 06-13-2013, 10:52 AM
Hetaera Hetaera is offline
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Originally Posted by lili View Post
(Although, I do want to keep in mind that I'd rather not create another word like "vanilla", with all its inherent negative connotations.)
I don't get what's wrong with vanilla anway? Someone who's into BDSM told me she'd never go back to vanilla. WTF? I'm not sure if what I do is vanilla but I sure as hell like it...guess I'm lame b/c I don't want to be flogged?
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  #12  
Old 06-13-2013, 11:31 AM
lili lili is offline
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Originally Posted by Marcus View Post
Just out of morbid curiosity... what is it you are doing which would specifically demand that you add another word to the "Urban Dictionary"?
I have no idea! My partner brought this up, but now I just want a word!
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  #13  
Old 06-13-2013, 11:34 AM
lili lili is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hetaera View Post
I don't get what's wrong with vanilla anway? Someone who's into BDSM told me she'd never go back to vanilla. WTF? I'm not sure if what I do is vanilla but I sure as hell like it...guess I'm lame b/c I don't want to be flogged?
What's wrong with the word is exactly this. It's makes you feel like shit, and it makes kinky people seem like asshats.
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  #14  
Old 06-13-2013, 12:27 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by lili View Post
What's wrong with the word is exactly this. It's makes you feel like shit, and it makes kinky people seem like asshats.
Huh? "Vanilla" does no such thing. It's just a word.

I find that most people "seem like asshats" regardless of whether or not they are "kinky". The word "vanilla" does not describe that condition. "Shit for brains" DOES describe that condition.
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  #15  
Old 06-13-2013, 12:46 PM
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hyperskeptic hyperskeptic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hetaera View Post
I don't get what's wrong with vanilla anway? Someone who's into BDSM told me she'd never go back to vanilla. WTF? I'm not sure if what I do is vanilla but I sure as hell like it...guess I'm lame b/c I don't want to be flogged?
I don't see "vanilla" as negative at all, even when applied to ice cream. Have you ever had really, really good vanilla ice cream? It's subtle and sublime.

Of course, the flavorless garbage most places serve as "vanilla" ice cream has led people to believe that vanilla is no flavor at all.
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  #16  
Old 06-13-2013, 12:53 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Vanilla is my favorite flavor of ice cream because you can add it to anything and it tastes good, or you can add anything to it and it tastes good (ever had garlic ice cream? Kinky!), or you can eat it plain and it tastes good.

I also like to be spanked until my ass is purple.

What do you say to that, OP? Am I vanilla? Am I kinky? Am I a kinky vanilla asshat? am I a vanilla kinky asshat? Do I make you feel like shit? Perhaps chocolate would make you feel less like shit? I don't know why though. It's brown. Maybe you should eat white chocolate instead.
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  #17  
Old 06-13-2013, 01:25 PM
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hyperskeptic hyperskeptic is offline
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Originally Posted by hyperskeptic View Post
I don't see "vanilla" as negative at all, even when applied to ice cream. Have you ever had really, really good vanilla ice cream? It's subtle and sublime.
That said, I have heard of instances in which "vanilla" was used as a term of reproach. When I was involved with Nyx, all her kinky friends were incredulous. "But he's vanilla!" they would protest. "Why would you waste your time on him?"

(And I really am very, deeply vanilla. I have no interest whatsoever in any aspect of BDSM.)
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  #18  
Old 06-13-2013, 04:52 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hetaera View Post
I don't get what's wrong with vanilla anway? Someone who's into BDSM told me she'd never go back to vanilla. WTF? I'm not sure if what I do is vanilla but I sure as hell like it...guess I'm lame b/c I don't want to be flogged?
Nothing wrong at all with not being into kink, but the word "vanilla" connotes "plain and boring." I prefer to say I am "non-kinky" or a "non-kinkster" over "vanilla."

Do an advanced search for "vanilla" and you'll find a thread where we discussed this.
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  #19  
Old 06-13-2013, 04:57 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Nothing wrong at all with not being into kink, but the word "vanilla" connotes "plain and boring." I prefer to say I am "non-kinky" or a "non-kinkster" over "vanilla."
I'm changing it to "tofu" then. Anyone got a fucking problem with that? Take it to the Complaints Department.

From now on, everyone has to use the word "tofu" instead of "vanilla" when referring to "non-kinky" sex. I'm going to be coming around with my red pen making sure everyone is on-board and conforming to the standard slang vocabulary, because language is fluid and I control the weather.
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  #20  
Old 06-13-2013, 04:58 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by lili View Post
What's wrong with the word is exactly this. It's makes you feel like shit, and it makes kinky people seem like asshats.
I don't feel like shit over a word someone uses. And no one "makes me" feel anything. I simply point out why the word "vanilla" is irksome if someone uses it.

I will also point out how ridiculous it is to say "asshat" instead of "asshole." I will never understand why people started saying that. The fact that it became part of the lexicon perplexes and bugs me to no end, and I would like to ban its use from now on. I can see why someone would be acting like an asshole, but why the fuck would someone be a hat for an ass?
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post against hierarchy in polyamory: http://solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-i...short-version/
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