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  #1  
Old 09-02-2014, 11:50 AM
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hyperskeptic hyperskeptic is offline
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Default [Heck] Yes, or No!

Vix pointed this out to me:

http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes/

At the moment, it strikes me as the best new-relationship (or wanna-relationship) advice I've ever come across.

It's simple and it saves time. It prevents game-playing and heartbreak and creepiness.

Above all, it puts consent right up front and takes away a lot of the ambiguity about it.
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Old 09-02-2014, 09:16 PM
ClockworkDragon ClockworkDragon is offline
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I totally just sent that to one of the most persistent guys I've met on OKC. I've even told him point blank I'm just not interested, but he keeps insisting he can be whatever I want. LOL.
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Old 09-02-2014, 10:43 PM
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hyperskeptic hyperskeptic is offline
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Originally Posted by ClockworkDragon View Post
I totally just sent that to one of the most persistent guys I've met on OKC. I've even told him point blank I'm just not interested, but he keeps insisting he can be whatever I want. LOL.
That's a good use for it. I'd like to send it personally to everyone currently on OKC, and any poly dating site, and . . .
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Old 09-03-2014, 01:32 AM
Savedbygrace Savedbygrace is offline
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As a non-game player and honest person, I completely agree with the advice. I also think that looking for the positive in people is great but also be realistic and there is no need to rush into things.
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Old 09-03-2014, 01:44 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClockworkDragon View Post
I totally just sent that to one of the most persistent guys I've met on OKC. I've even told him point blank I'm just not interested, but he keeps insisting he can be whatever I want. LOL.
Why are you even having conversations with him? Block him. Then you never have to see his stupidity again.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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Old 09-03-2014, 03:37 AM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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I liked the article. Gala girl wrote something similar using the phrase "joyous yes",
I took that on board and use it. Highly applicable to dating.
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Old 09-03-2014, 05:02 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I have read it before, and I agree completely with it. If they (or you) can't give an enthusiastic yes, that's a good sign you need to not move forward. It doesn't necessarily mean you need to back up. Sometimes you just need to stand still.

Kind of like holding a kid back from moving to the next grade. If it's not enthusiastic yes, it's not time to move forward.
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Old 09-03-2014, 11:52 AM
ClockworkDragon ClockworkDragon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Why are you even having conversations with him? Block him. Then you never have to see his stupidity again.
I have. I'll sometimes respond to the dumbasses because they're entertaining. This guy though? Just obnoxious.
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  #9  
Old 09-03-2014, 02:00 PM
rdos rdos is offline
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Not my type of advice. I'd play games instead to check their persistence. If they fail those I'd have no interest in them. People that instantly says "Yes" are superficial and I don't want to waste any time on them.

OTOH, part of the games (flirting) is that they need to reciprocate, but I don't want anybody that would go all the way very quickly.

Last edited by rdos; 09-03-2014 at 02:04 PM.
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Old 09-03-2014, 02:09 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Originally Posted by rdos View Post
Not my type of advice. I'd play games instead to check their persistence. If they fail those I'd have no interest in them. People that instantly says "Yes" are superficial and I don't want to waste any time on them.
People who play games are superficial and I don't want to waste my time on them.

I really don't understand this viewpoint. I know it's not uncommon but I find it to be unhealthy.
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