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Old 06-06-2013, 01:57 AM
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KittenPuff KittenPuff is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 25

Still figuring out how to respond with quotes and stuff. It's not that complicated, but it's complicated!

Originally Posted by Eponine View Post
The solo poly blog has some very good posts about how to treat primary and non-primary partners with equal respect ("non-primary" only means not married/living together/sharing finances/etc, but they're not lesser than primary partners, which makes them different from "secondary partners"), such as this one.

The relationship anarchy manifesto linked in Marcus' signature offers good guidelines too, especially "love and respect instead of entitlement" I think. It's much simpler when you drop all the titles and just treat everyone you love as individuals you love.
I've started reading a little bit about RA and I like it. I need to read more. I'll check out the SoloPoly stuff, too. Thanks!

Originally Posted by Eponine View Post
My attempt to meet new friends (and potential partners) on OKC turned out to be a fiasco, or a waste of time at least. Meeting "just friends" (how I hate this phrase!) from a dating site seems to be beyond most people's comprehension. Now I'm happy enough to just make friends from AVEN and other forums. Granted, they're all long-distance, but the most genuine conversations I had on OKC were all with long-distance matches anyway...

I encourage you to try hanging out with the Fringe group. Who knows, it may turn out better than you think!
I may give up on OKC, too. It's definitely a cesspool, but I'm hoping to make friends nearby who can go with me to things like swing dancing lessons and out to museums and things that long-distance friends just can't do. I've already been messaged by some pretty creepy dudes.

I'm concerned that Fringe may have the same feeling, but with actual people in my face. J said they tend to be very interested in new people, but I would hope that in a community that relies on setting and respecting boundaries, that they would give me space if I asked for it.

I cherish my online friends and my real-life friends, but the former are too far away to meet face-to-face and the latter are busy raising kids and working day jobs and making excuses about why they can't meet for dinner. My dearest friend is a 40-minute drive away and she works about 60 hours a week, much of it spent in her car. We make that drive and talk on the phone. I need to reach out to her more. Her kids are old enough to be home by themselves while we go out and have fun. She needs more fun in her life, too. Now that the kids are out of school, I may see if she can go out during the week. Sometimes I need a distraction while he's out. It's hard to sit at home alone all day and all night for days at a time.
Asexual woman married to J, a very sexual/kinky man. I'm unemployed and home alone most of the time so I tend to get a little stir crazy.

J and I are completely new to poly and trying it out to get both our needs met without abandoning our relationship, which works tremendously well on every other level.

J has recently started dating L and says he thinks he loves her. I am alternately happy and terrified about it.
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