Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-10-2013, 10:58 PM
kemperfish kemperfish is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 19
Default Mrs. Robinson?

Please provide advise on the following situaiton. It will be greatly appriciated. And, thank you in advance.

I am a 37 year old female with a primary partner. I just started dating alone and had my ad up on one of those sites that most of us can name. I got a response from a 27 year old male and I immediatley attempted to dismiss him because he looks at least 10 years younger than that. He would not allow himself to be dismissed and in a very intelligent and kind way convinced me to chat with him.
I have since learned that he is very interesting, smart, funny, and kind. I have also seen more pictures of him he is very attractive.
Here's the issue; is this appropriate? Will I be able to treat him like a man when he looks younger than my son? I realize I am reading too much into this, but I have no experience in this area. I hear that people in their 20's are different now, more mature etc.. I just need advice from someone who has been down this road or known of a similar situation.

Thanks again.
D
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 05-10-2013, 11:04 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,647
Default

As long as he isn't lying about his age, or lying about anything else, what's the problem? I'm 42 and i still get carded for liquor sometimes. Some people just have that kind of look. You could make a joke out of it like that and ask him if you can see his ID. I met my spouse in a bar and one of the first things i did was ask to see their ID, but it wasn't because of their age, it was for another reason.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-10-2013, 11:07 PM
kemperfish kemperfish is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 19
Default

Boring Guy,
I confirmed that age straight away with a pic of the driver's license LOL I will also be carding him when he arrives for our date and I made this clear LOL Thank you for the advice, it is much appriciated.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-10-2013, 11:11 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,647
Default

You're welcome. I also would like to add that 10 years isn't really that big of an age difference when you're these ages. It isn't like a 24 year-old and a 14 year-old getting it on together.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-10-2013, 11:19 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,647
Default

One other thing - you asked if anyone else has been in a similar situation. I had a relationship with someone 19 years older when i was in my early 20's. It was monogamous, we met in person regular, not online or through a dating service, and it lasted for a little over a year (i wrote about this recently in another thread with a 20 year old engaged to a 40-something year old). I have not had the experience of being an older person in a relationship with a younger person yet, but i do have a crush on a certain 20 year old. Maybe they turned 21 already.... I'm not sure their date of birth.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-11-2013, 12:20 AM
Natja's Avatar
Natja Natja is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 822
Default

I'm jealous that Boringguy get's carded, last time I was in the States I didn't get carded even once *weep*

I don't think ten years is much of a problem, my mother's bf is 12 years younger than she is and only 5 years older than me. On the whole being of similar age group to you I wouldn't have a problem with it, but I have yet to find anyone that much younger than me interesting at all.

If you like him, enjoy yourself!

Natja
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-11-2013, 12:41 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,647
Default

I get carded the most at bars and clubs, and the least at restaurants. Liquor stores it depends on several things, the most obvious of which is that they know me, ahem, rather well at the ones close to my house . It also seems to depend on the age of the person serving, as i think i've observed that the older a person is, the less likely they are to card me. But i do appreciate it when they do - a lot of times i have my Id (and my super-ego) ready, and i get up there and i'm all, "Don't you want this? Please, look at it! See, it really is me!"
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-11-2013, 01:40 AM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,229
Default

Go for it. Some people still have a lot of growing up to do at 27 (then again, some people still have a lot of growing up to do at 67...), but plenty of others have settled into who they are as adults, and are not going to be any different than you, aside from having had a little less time to experience the world (then again, he may well have more experience than you in some areas, who knows). This is not a Mrs. Robinson situation, he's past his mid-20's, you're good.
__________________
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-11-2013, 04:23 AM
Livingmybestlife Livingmybestlife is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 132
Default

I just need a two year relationship with a 27 year old, that was Jan. He called on his birthday to see him. He was in a bad space. I can say he provided a solid base for me when I found out about my husband's deceit. There is a 20 year age gap. We would still be to gather, except he has a need for sport ducking and Isn't reliable about condoms. I am now being pursued by a 30 year old. I have another interest who is 59. Oddly enough I have more in common with the ex and the other younger guy. One of my ex,s friends said I wasn't being fair to him with him wanting a family someday. Other mutual friends got us.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-11-2013, 05:19 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,056
Default

I am a woman who is 17 years older than my lover. At first I felt weird about it (me: early 50s, he: mid-30s), but he and I connected so well on so many things, the age gap never really mattered.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:41 PM.