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  #31  
Old 05-23-2013, 09:35 PM
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Natja didn't say triads NEVER work she says they rarely work. And I agree. They do seem like the least successful poly configuration.
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  #32  
Old 05-23-2013, 11:20 PM
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AND
a triad is three people who are all romantically and sexually involved.
If one person is sexually involved with two people who are not sexually involved with each other-that's not a triad, it's a V.

(I only iterate, because it appears the OP may have been confused-but I was skimming through so if I missed where she said the two guys were involved-I apologize)
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  #33  
Old 05-24-2013, 12:53 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Default Triads can be difficult

it not only takes compatible people, but also those who are capable and have a strong desire for that configuration. Many people end up failing and sometimes people get hurt. Some people will give you good advice on how to avoid the pit falls that they couldn't make it through, so that you can, there are also those who seem more upset, jealous even if you are in a triad. It can be hard to distinguish the good advice from those that are just bitter.
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  #34  
Old 05-24-2013, 01:02 AM
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From her other posts, I believe the OP is in a Vee with her bf who is local to her, and her husband, who is currently living far away from where she is now. There is no indication in any of her posts that she is looking for a Triad - I think she simply misused the term when she described her situation.
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  #35  
Old 05-24-2013, 01:37 AM
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That was my impression too Nyc. That's why I posted the definitions (I'm not as good as you are at finding the links to the existing threads). LOL! I know the thread of definitions exists-cause I created it. Terrible huh? :P
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  #36  
Old 05-24-2013, 02:46 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Default Sorry about the order in line

of my comment, it certainly wasn't directed at you LR. Because polyamory has only recently become an above-ground practice, there are going to be many words in the vocabulary that may take a while before they become more standardized. I hope that due to the internet it won't be left to a bunch pedantic Stick in the Muds, or Heads in the Sand type grammarians that slaughtered and obfuscated the English Language rather passive aggressively, rather than just admitting they were bitter and being done with it.

It is always good to be on the same page, to have peoples words not mean two different things (especially when trying to clarify specific topics) so I can appreciate the list of terms posted. I also tend to call triads what some might describe as V configuration as the form I am familiar with is a relationship with all three, as in it is more the norm to see all three people together than just two, even if behind closed doors there is rarely a situation where it is all three or even the three possible pairs of two, as there is one paired sexual combo that doesn't happen, if that makes sense, but in all other ways the three more closely resemble a triad than a V.

Anyway, not really the situation that the OP is describing, but I don't restrict triad label only to configurations where sex at least occurs between A&B B&C and C&A or ABC. Sometimes based just on the sex configuration a relationship looks like a V, but triad may fit better in some cases.

Last edited by Dirtclustit; 05-24-2013 at 02:51 AM.
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  #37  
Old 05-24-2013, 04:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirtclustit View Post
I hope that due to the internet it won't be left to a bunch pedantic Stick in the Muds, or Heads in the Sand type grammarians that slaughtered and obfuscated the English Language rather passive aggressively, rather than just admitting they were bitter and being done with it.
Who are you mad at?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirtclustit View Post
I don't restrict triad label only to configurations where sex at least occurs between A&B B&C and C&A or ABC. Sometimes based just on the sex configuration a relationship looks like a V, but triad may fit better in some cases.
The definitions posted on this site are pretty clear without being restrictive. There isn't a requirement of sex between the partners for them to be together - I suspect that our asexual friends would agree that it isn't necessarily a requirement for romance.
Triad n 1: any three person lovestyle. 2: three people involved in some way; most often used in a committed sense; in some cases involving ceremonies of commitment 3 : a union or group of three usu. closely related persons or things

Triangle n 1: (or equilateral triangle) relationship where three people are each involved with both of the others, sometimes also called a triad

Vee n : three people, where the structure puts one person at the bottom, or hinge" of the vee, also called the pivot point; in a vee, the arm partners are not as commonly close to each other as each is to the pivot
So you aren't redefining the terms, just recognizing that people have different qualifiers of what they would consider "involved".
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  #38  
Old 05-24-2013, 04:45 AM
Dirtclustit Dirtclustit is offline
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Default I am honestly mad at the whole world

And not just the people living today, but every person who knowingly recorded a false account of history, and for being stupid enough to believe that a day would never come when the truth could not be covered with lies.

My anger doesn't even really have anything to do with anyone tonight, so I really need to step away from the site. The simplest way to say it is that it makes my blood boil every time I realize how stupid mankind is, how ALL of the worlds problems are rooted in misunderstandings or rationalizations or justifying our behavior because we fail to be honest.

When I see all that has been done with what we were given in this world, and all that we could be doing but still choose not to, I can't believe that it seems the world and it's people as a collective choose death instead of life.

I will back later when I can make more sense instead of talking gibberish craziness.
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  #39  
Old 05-24-2013, 04:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
Is this your best example, because if so, it's a pretty shitty one, seeing as how it doesn't say what you claim it does. Did you really just quote that and say it says something it doesn't say?
I wrote:

"Of course there are people on this forum that will tell you that some particular configurations will not, or should not work."

That is my interpretation of:

"why triads rarely work and why lots of experienced Poly's think they are a bad, bad idea in general."

You clearly interpret it differently. That's OK, but not a reason to be rude. I have no intention, or desire, to engage in a pissing match about such a trivial point.

End of discussion from my side, I wish you well.
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  #40  
Old 05-24-2013, 05:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dirtclustit View Post
I will back later when I can make more sense instead of talking gibberish craziness.
I wish you well. Maybe go see a doctor, adjust meds, whatever, but you need to take a break from the internet, I think.
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