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  #21  
Old 05-21-2013, 04:36 AM
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nancyfore nancyfore is offline
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Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
Huh? Your husband's signature says you're bi. And how did you have 8 kids? Artificial insemination? I'm not trying to be a wiseguy, i'm just wicked confused. I am sure i missed something somewhere...

Hey there.... ok I'm bisexual with no sex drive (could be all those kids..lol) But yes to get the 5 (3 are hubby's from another mother) I biologically had, there was fertility dr's and procedures involved...
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  #22  
Old 05-21-2013, 05:37 AM
Eponine Eponine is offline
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Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
Huh? Your husband's signature says you're bi. And how did you have 8 kids? Artificial insemination? I'm not trying to be a wiseguy, i'm just wicked confused. I am sure i missed something somewhere...
Just FYI, being asexual doesn't mean unable to have sex. Although many asexuals don't want to have sex because they're repulsed or bored by sex, others are fine with having sex to please a partner or to conceive. Some asexuals do have children in the old fashioned way.
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Last edited by Eponine; 05-21-2013 at 05:39 AM.
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  #23  
Old 05-21-2013, 11:05 AM
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Originally Posted by KittenPuff View Post
Cleo, she is the one with the curves! I have lost weight and am working on getting stronger so my boobs are shrinking and I am more angular than I've ever been since he's known me. I am happy with the strength. Not so thrilled with the bra getting looser. The thing that I confuse myself with is that I do NOT want to be sexually attractive (as I am asexual) but I also don't want to be unattractive. The human emotional spectrum. What a freakin' minefield.
ha, thanks for this, I suddenly realized it's entirely possible my BF's new GF googled me as well and is now lamenting to her girlfriends that BF's other lover is so sexy and curvy while she's so skinny Yes it's a minefield for sure!
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  #24  
Old 05-21-2013, 02:57 PM
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Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
Huh? Your husband's signature says you're bi. And how did you have 8 kids? Artificial insemination? I'm not trying to be a wiseguy, i'm just wicked confused. I am sure i missed something somewhere...
Ace doesn't mean we don't have sex, we just don't feel sexual attraction. Plenty of aces have kids. As for being bi, asexuals can have romantic feelings (or not) which are described as homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, etc
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Asexual woman married to J, a very sexual/kinky man. I'm unemployed and home alone most of the time so I tend to get a little stir crazy.

J and I are completely new to poly and trying it out to get both our needs met without abandoning our relationship, which works tremendously well on every other level.

J has recently started dating L and says he thinks he loves her. I am alternately happy and terrified about it.
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  #25  
Old 05-21-2013, 03:01 PM
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But, of course, that's been explained already...


(NOTE TO SELF: Read before responding, Kitten. Read before responding.)
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Asexual woman married to J, a very sexual/kinky man. I'm unemployed and home alone most of the time so I tend to get a little stir crazy.

J and I are completely new to poly and trying it out to get both our needs met without abandoning our relationship, which works tremendously well on every other level.

J has recently started dating L and says he thinks he loves her. I am alternately happy and terrified about it.
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  #26  
Old 05-21-2013, 03:10 PM
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And in regard to my original post, I talked with him about my fears and feelings. We had a good chat and a cuddle. My fear of him loving her is a waxing and waning thing. I'm so programmed to think people only have room for one love at a time, but we all (here) know that's not true of everyone. Of course they can fall in love and do so with my blessing. That's how this works. It doesn't take anything from me; it only adds.

We are going to spend some time all together. She & I want to be friends, or at least acquainted. I think that will help me to know and care about both of them so she's not just a random stranger tied to my life.
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Asexual woman married to J, a very sexual/kinky man. I'm unemployed and home alone most of the time so I tend to get a little stir crazy.

J and I are completely new to poly and trying it out to get both our needs met without abandoning our relationship, which works tremendously well on every other level.

J has recently started dating L and says he thinks he loves her. I am alternately happy and terrified about it.
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  #27  
Old 05-21-2013, 03:14 PM
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nancyfore nancyfore is offline
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I'm glad you talked and cuddled and feel better. I think it's a good idea to get to know her. I hope it works out well for you!!!!
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  #28  
Old 05-25-2013, 09:17 PM
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We had a great dinner last night--celebrated our 9th anniversary. Right now he's getting ready for his first overnight "date" with her. I want as much time as I can get with him before he spends the night with her because I feel certain that after that happens, the energy will change (for awhile at least) and I won't be as important to him as she will be. Then when that first flush of passion cools a bit, things will balance out. At least, that's what I anticipate. I don't think you can ever really know with these things... I'm wondering if I should have asked to hang out with both of them more before they do this. It's too late to ask now, but whatever happens, happens and everything will be ok. I don't need to over think all this.
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Asexual woman married to J, a very sexual/kinky man. I'm unemployed and home alone most of the time so I tend to get a little stir crazy.

J and I are completely new to poly and trying it out to get both our needs met without abandoning our relationship, which works tremendously well on every other level.

J has recently started dating L and says he thinks he loves her. I am alternately happy and terrified about it.
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  #29  
Old 05-25-2013, 10:10 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eponine View Post
Just FYI, being asexual doesn't mean unable to have sex. Although many asexuals don't want to have sex because they're repulsed or bored by sex, others are fine with having sex to please a partner or to conceive. Some asexuals do have children in the old fashioned way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KittenPuff View Post
Ace doesn't mean we don't have sex, we just don't feel sexual attraction. Plenty of aces have kids. As for being bi, asexuals can have romantic feelings (or not) which are described as homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic, etc



Um yes, thank you, i did know that but it is possible that other people reading this did not know so that might be helpful to someone out there. I was asking Nancy about herself, not as a spokesperson for all "aces" that ever existed. That said, i don't believe that being "bored" by sex means a person is "asexual". "Celibate" could be used to describe a period of non-sexuality, but doesn't have to equal "asexual" just as being "single" does not equal "celibate" or "asexual".

Why am i qualified to have an opinion about this? Because i went through a period of about 3-4 years where i was not interested in sex and hardly ever even masturbated during that time because i was on a certain type of hormonal medication that messed up my sex drive. However, i was not "asexual" because i was still intellectually and emotionally "interested" in sex/masturbation (i believe masturbation IS "sex") and just because the PHYSICAL part wasn't manifesting without considerable effort, that didn't make me feel like the word "asexual" applied to me.

But yeah, i do know what causes pregnancy and that there are other ways to get knocked up besides having PIV sex.

Last edited by BoringGuy; 05-25-2013 at 10:14 PM.
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  #30  
Old 05-25-2013, 10:26 PM
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BigGuy BigGuy is offline
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I feel certain that after that happens, the energy will change (for awhile at least) and I won't be as important to him as she will be. Then when that first flush of passion cools a bit, things will balance out. At least, that's what I anticipate. I don't think you can ever really know with these things....
In my experience, NRE tends to rekindle passion in current relationships. The feel good chemicals spill over and everyone benefits. Ymmv.
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