Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 07-25-2013, 07:27 AM
Ambyer's Avatar
Ambyer Ambyer is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 29
Cool Ambyer's Life

A couple of days ago I posted a brief bio in the introduction section. Since then I've met some wonderful people who have made me feel very much at home. That feeling is much appreciated.
I have been wanting to post in here, give a more in-depth insight into who is me for anyone interested. It just seems that each time I attempt to start it in my mind, I become lost. I think, for most of us at least, the way we ended up where we are is not simple.
I'll start here, where I didn't in my introduction, on a deeper layer. I'm in my early 40's, married for 20 years and have three children. Our children are grown now, well mostly, the youngest is a senior this year. Speaking of the youngest, he was born disabled, deaf to be exact. Different than many parents of special needs children, my husband and I bonded together and fought harder to get him everything he needed, rather than one of us deciding we could not take the stress and leaving. But I think somewhere along the way we stopped being "us" and became his parents (if that makes any sense to anyone).
Don't get me wrong in this, I love my husband. I would do anything for him. That said, though, long ago we stopped being intimate and became more best friends than anything else. We still enjoy doing things together, going places together, common hobbies, that sort of thing. But it has been years, quite a few years, since we have been intimate. This change occurred long before I met anyone else. I think we both just sorta thought that's how it goes after you've been together for so long. Not necessary happy about it, but just accepted the fact that as you get older and have been together for so long the heat just dies.
I'm a bit of an online gamer, and a few years ago I met this man on one of the games I play (G). We played together for a while and got to know each other and really liked one another. We found out we had much similar political and religious beliefs which fueled conversations late into the night. It wasn't a sexual thing, it was a meeting of like minds which I thought was rather cool. Our conversations progressed and we started talking nightly. My husband knew all about this and was perfectly fine with it. G's wife also knew about our conversations and she had no issues with it either. I might need to add in here, neither my husband nor I are jealous people. That is not in our makeup. That's not to say it hasn't occurred on occasion, but it's very very rare. G and his wife (K) are the same way.
Eventually I was invited down to Florida to meet this couple. I say I, but that initial meeting it was we, the husband and I both went. My husband (J) really seemed to hit it off with them. He liked them, but didn't have as much in common with them as I did. The way he put it G was too much like me, LOL. K and I, though hit it off way more than anyone could have ever expected. We began talking and noticed parallels in our lives that were creepy to say the least. These are things that you think is odd about yourself, but to find another human who has had the same set of events happen in their life is just bizarre.
The husband and I come back home. G and K and I now are all three talking on a regular basis. J talks to them some, but his interests and mine (as well as theirs) are very different so it's not that often. G, K and I all grow closer. Then I'm asked to come back down for vacation that summer. J doesn't want to go but it's fine with him if I go. Wonderful, I need a break so I go. We spend a wonderful weekend together in Orlando. A non sexual weekend I might add. It was nothing more than 3 friends hanging out. (I've come to the point now to seeing myself as an asexual being, a born again virgin, whatever you want to call it).
The second to the last day there K and I are washing laundry and she says you know how we feel don't you? Me, being the naive person that I am says sure I do, then I go on about how amazing it is to find friends with so much in common that we can do things with and how much it means to me. (facepalm).
My last night there, I guess G had decided he was not letting me go home without coming clean and making sure that I actually clued in this time. He blurted out that he loved me. I was shocked, didn't know what to think, but asked him what about K, and that's when he added that she does as well.
Ok, this floors me.
I go home, and for the next few months the 4 of us talk, and talk and talk. That's when we decide to try something that none of us knew if would work but decided to give it a shot anyways. I am G and K girlfriend. J, now is allowed to have girlfriend(s) of his own if he wishes. There weren't many bumps, a few but that is common with any relationships, but we have ironed things out where we are all pretty happy. Since then I have visited G and K many times, in fact we have no been together for 4 years. J has no serous girlfriends right now. He had one for a couple of years, however as time progressed she became more and more possessive and jealous. None of us could tolerate that behavior so he ended it with her.
G and K want me to move down there to Florida when I graduate. J is all for it, he loves Florida and would love to live there. IDK how I feel or what I want. G and K would love for me to live with them, though I know that would not work with J. Not to mention there is this whole issue of me actually liking where I live.
Anyways, long and convoluted as it is, that's where my life is at the moment. Unlike some, I'm quite happy. All 4 of us, for that matter, are quite happy. There are things to consider and work out in the future but for now that's the future. I am enjoying the now.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 07-25-2013, 08:38 PM
Ambyer's Avatar
Ambyer Ambyer is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 29
Default

Just wanted to share this. This last vacation we took, last month, we went to Mexico. Here is the view from our porch. It was amazing. I am already ready to go back there NOW.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-01-2013, 01:45 AM
Ambyer's Avatar
Ambyer Ambyer is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 29
Wink The Hubby

Interesting development with the hubby.
I guess I should elaborate on his part in this life.
He has had a girl for a while now, though their relationship is more of a "rock" for her to lean on. He is fine with this as he actually enjoys being there for her and such. They talk all the time, text nightly, and overall just enjoy each other's company. But there is nothing physical.
He's met a new woman and they have clicked, both physically and mentally. Nothing has happened yet, but the chemistry is there. The only drawback is they are both shy. LOL
I've talked to this woman (I'll call her L) and she knows our relationship so she realizes that what develops between them is fine with me. This way I hope she is more at ease than if she was afraid she were cheating. I have encouraged him to ask her out to a wrestling event as she enjoys such things and I don't. I thought it might be nice for the two of them to get out and spend some time together.
I hope it does work out.
I know what the hubby's biggest hesitation is. If he and L were to get together, she lives here in the same town that we live in. They would be seeing each other on a regular basis. My bf and gf live in another state, literally 1000 miles away. I only get to see them twice a year. I think he's somewhat afraid that it won't be "fair" to me. I'm not sure yet how to assure him that I am ok with this. I love him, and I love G and K dearly, I would not change my relationship with them for anything close by.
I'll just keep encouraging him and hopefully he will realize it's all good.
Time will tell.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-02-2013, 02:03 PM
Ambyer's Avatar
Ambyer Ambyer is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 29
Unhappy So sad today

This has nothing what so ever to do with polyamory, but it's how I feel so I figured I would write it down.
My youngest child is a senior this year, and TODAY he officially turned 18 years old.
I didn't think it would hit me like it did, but it has. I've been spending all morning crying my eyes out.
I don't have like a sort of empty nest syndrome, I don't want any more kids. I just want mine back small again. I guess that's normal.
I'm sure I'm not the first, and won't be the last, Mom that goes through this.
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:45 AM.