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Old 05-17-2013, 01:50 PM
kirsten kirsten is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2011
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I feel for you, and I know what a difficult spot you are in right now. I was in an abusive relationship and the tactics sound very similar. It can be very hard to disentangle yourself from an abuser. Don't be hard on yourself if you find this very difficult. I ended up at a domestic violence shelter for three weeks. I was instructed not to speak to my abuser, and given education on healthy relationships. The staff would talk to us a lot about our abusers, and the kinds of things that abusers do to manipulate their partners. Framing the man that I loved and was very dependent on as "my abuser" was very helpful to severing my attachment to him. Having zero contact with him was also key.

If you are having difficulty leaving, I suggest seeking out similar support. If you are not in physical danger, you may not be able to get into a shelter, and not all shelters are as awesome as the one I went to. But there are lots of support groups for victims of domestic violence, and they seem to be welcoming even if there is no physical or sexual abuse. Emotional abuse is still abuse, in the eyes of the DV organizations I have come into contact with. They realize that the emotional abuse is the glue that keeps us attached to these people who are very bad for us.

Good luck, and know that there is a lot of support out there for you as you go through this process.
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