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Old 10-27-2014, 06:35 PM
RenaissanceMan RenaissanceMan is offline
Join Date: Oct 2014
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Default New podcast on non-monogamous relationships


Hi all,

I just came across a newly released podcast that you might enjoy:


Conversations with Richard Fidler, an interview show on the Australian Broadcast Corporation, inteverviewed Lee Kofman, the author of The Dangerous Bride, a book about her personal journey through non-monogamous relationships.

One part of the interview has her offering her perspective on the difference between polyamory and swinging. It would be interesting to hear your thoughts on her description.

At the very least, you'll enjoy her personal story, her Joie de vivre, and her perky, very independent personality and cute voice.

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Old 10-28-2014, 11:23 PM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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That was an interesting conversation; I enjoyed it. I kind of liked the way this lady came a full circle and, after carefully considering various non-monogamous arrangements, and having a positive outlook about them, she ultimately decided to live monogamously in her own life. To me it punctuates my belief that humans are very diverse, and not all meant to manage love and relationships in the same way. Each person has to find out what way of life is best for them as an individual.

She described swinging as being "more romantic" than polyamory, which sounds counterintuitive, but I think it's based on the very widespread notion that a couple ("Just you and me against the world," as the interviewer put it) is more romantic than say a V or a triad, I suppose because a single partner has more "specialness" than multiple partners have. Although I think that notion is a fallacy, I understand how deeply-rooted it is, and it's probably the main reason polyamory has such a hard time getting a foothold in our world. Anyway, the classic model of swinging is basically couple-centric. You go out and have fun and play with other people, but there's only one deep and true love in your life and that is your spouse (or primary partner).

As polyamorists I think we take special pride in how romantic we are (and the fact that we're not all about sex, etc.). We need to be able to hear things like, "Swinging is more romantic," without feeling offended or uncomfortable. We need to be very diplomatic and show by our example that we are all about love. Love for all people. Anyway that's my take on it.

Thanks for pointing us to that podcast; I'm glad I listened to it.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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author, interview, lee kofman, podcast, the dangerous bride

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