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Old 05-21-2013, 06:48 AM
Kraven Kraven is offline
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Default what to choose????

I love my wife, I really do but I've caught feelings for a woman that she doesn't approve of I got into poly to avoid the feeling of being trapped but yet somehow I find myself back here...wanting someone that I can't have solely because of an outside party. I'm not sure whether to scratch my itch or ignore it but if I ignore it I'm afraid it's going to come right back :-(
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Old 05-21-2013, 11:01 AM
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Natja Natja is offline
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I think the question has to be asked 'why is your wife disapproving? It is just 'I don't like her face'? In which case you should question that sort of attitude or does she know something that is either being ignored by you or not fully expressed by her? For example, is there a fair that this woman is a) Not poly, b) a possible cowgirl, c) not ethically aka cheating on her partner? Or, is there a security issue here?

It is hard to say how you should handle it, given so little information.

btw, Kraven means 'coward', did you know?
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Old 05-21-2013, 12:36 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Why does your wife not liking this woman equal not being able to pursue her? Your wife doesn't have to be involved with her.
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Old 05-21-2013, 03:48 PM
Kraven Kraven is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natja View Post
It is hard to say how you should handle it, given so little information.

btw, Kraven means 'coward', did you know?
I'm pretty sure I should just talk it out with both of them but the biggest problem is that the other woman doesn't speak good English so it's hard for us to understand each other!

Btw, the word you're looking for is "Craven" meaning 'lack of courage' however the word I've used is "Kraven" which is in reference to fictional characters such as 'Kraven the Hunter (from Spider-man)' or 'Kraven the Vampire (from Underworld)'...I'm a fan of Marvel, vampires, werewolves and zombies!
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Old 05-21-2013, 06:39 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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I wasn't looking for the word and I know it's correct spelling, I just wondered if you knew its origins.

Anyhow, like I said there was not enough information and if you can hardly understand this other woman, what on earth is so alluring about her?

Or is that a blindingly obvious question?
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Old 05-22-2013, 06:38 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I still want to know why it's necessary for your wife to approve of her.
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Old 05-23-2013, 10:20 PM
LadySFI LadySFI is offline
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I don't know if its the best thing that you consider your wife an outside party. Also, you say you got into poly because you didn't like feeling trapped. Why did you feel trapped to begin with? Maybe you need to consider the idea of feeling trapped and why it occurred and remedy that before proceeding.

If you love your wife and this hurts her you may need to examine why. Is it just this one person? Have you been in relationships like this before? Does she have any logic to support her argument? Are you sure your wife is poly or just agreed to it so that you wouldn't feel so trapped?
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