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Old 12-30-2010, 10:15 PM
BFTrick BFTrick is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
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Default My Reasons For Being Poly

Hello There,

I just wanted to share my reasons for poly. I would love to know if other people had similar reasons. Just for your reference I am a 23 year old male primarily interested in females.

I first thought about poly when I wanted to grant a girlfriend permission to do whatever she wanted to whomever she wanted. This obviously isn't poly but I did learn that I am not a jealous person. I also realized that one person can never fill every need their partner has; at first I thought this just applied to sex but now I realize that it is true in every part of the relationship.

Since that girlfriend 4 years ago I have always given new girlfriends the same permissions even though none of them have ever taken me up on it. I think most of them reject the idea because they don't want me to do the same. And I always feel awkward without them dating someone else first. I find this especially frustrating because sex always causes problems in the relationship. I have a low sex drive and could happily live with sex once a week. This of course causes problems with the girls I date, they will ask questions and accuse me of cheating (why else would a guy not want sex?); it never fails. Maybe I just need to date more emotionally secure girls?

The other reason that I want to try poly is that I believe that I can be intimate with multiple people at the same time and I think that it is the natural way of things. I have a friend that I would consider to be intimate with even though we are not sexually active. We have shared some very intense and private feelings and experiences and if he was into poly I might try that with him.

So part of the reason that I am open to trying poly is that I know I can't fulfill my partners needs and I want them to be happy. And the other part is that I think it is normal for people to be intimate with more than one person at a time.

Why does every one else feel the way they do?
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Old 12-31-2010, 01:58 AM
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Somegeezer Somegeezer is offline
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You and I think in very similar ways. =] I've had those same experiences trying to get mono partners to try out poly. This was before I actually knew what poly was exactly. They never did for the same reasons. I think a lot of it is to do with the way they are brought up. People make them feel like multiple relationships are such a bad thing. But you're right, it is completely natural and the way things should be.
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Old 12-31-2010, 08:57 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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very well said BFT, I wish you luck on your relationship journey... I feel similarly in many ways,,, except I am a very jealous person.
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