Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #571  
Old 12-13-2012, 08:05 PM
Mya's Avatar
Mya Mya is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 338
Default

Wow, that's great! I'm really happy for you for your new peace of mind.
__________________
My live-in partners: rory and Hank
I'm also dating Sol and Ray
Reply With Quote
  #572  
Old 12-13-2012, 08:21 PM
RainyGrlJenny's Avatar
RainyGrlJenny RainyGrlJenny is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 172
Default

I have a huge urge to hug you! Consider yourself virtually hugged.

I'm so happy for you!
__________________
35/bi/f

- Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012
- Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F"
- No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy), and his 9-year-old son Kiddo
Reply With Quote
  #573  
Old 12-13-2012, 08:22 PM
Anneintherain's Avatar
Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 821
Default

yay! It must be nice to finally get that off of your chest, hope when you see each other next it's easy and relaxed for, which it probably will if you don't overthink again
__________________
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Reply With Quote
  #574  
Old 12-13-2012, 10:12 PM
rory's Avatar
rory rory is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Europe
Posts: 497
Default

Good for you! That's great
Reply With Quote
  #575  
Old 12-13-2012, 10:30 PM
Phy's Avatar
Phy Phy is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 604
Default

Heh! Talking about nice development and positivity and such So happy for you
__________________
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

My Blog
Reply With Quote
  #576  
Old 12-14-2012, 02:25 AM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,233
Default

Thanks so much, ladies. I thought y'all would like hearing about it! It really is a huge relief to feel like, for the first time in so long, there's nothing I'm holding back.

I love the fact that, of the five of you, two live across the country from me and three live across the world from me. The internet is awesome.
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #577  
Old 12-14-2012, 04:37 AM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,233
Default

Fun fact -- Eric started his new blog at Gia's request as a way for them to communicate with each other and stay connected.

Apparently, when he started seeing Helen, she got a little antsy. Which isn't surprising. This is the first time since Jen, their ex, that he's been intimate with the same girl more than once who wasn't either Gia or me. When Jen was on the scene he got, er, a little forgetful about boundaries and respect and honesty and all that good stuff. So, even though he's worked hard to change, and their relationship has strengthened since then, it's still scary for Gia. It's kind of good, for me, to be reminded that, with all the worries I sometimes have, I'm not the only one in this situation who struggles with fears.

I just really really really love the fact that, instead of placing a bunch of restrictions on his connection with Helen as a way to keep their marriage "safe", Gia focused on strengthening *their* connection. It just makes so much sense, and doesn't seem to be the direction in which many people go. But, then, they did already have their huge, stereotypical new-to-poly triad explosion on the way to where they are now...
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #578  
Old 12-14-2012, 10:08 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,233
Default

I asked, on facebook, for suggestions of songs to fit a mood. A number of people responded with one or two. Gia made a 42-song playlist and sent it to me.

That is all.

<3
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #579  
Old 12-18-2012, 11:35 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,233
Default

Life has been so interesting lately.

My little solo trip was *awesome*, I visited five museums in four days and read a lot. Being on my own in an unfamiliar city suited me well, I loved the fact that I didn't have to compromise my whims based on what anyone else wanted to do. It made me wonder if solo poly is really what's right for me.

On the other hand, when Davis picked me up from the airport last night it was soo nice to see him. We spent a very pleasant and warm night together. It's so good to have someone who you know is devoted to you as their top priority. I've moved away from chronicling my relationship with Davis here... once I knew he could read it if he chose (though I don't believe he does), it just felt wierd to pick our relationship apart in this forum. Suffice to say, we've had our ups and downs. We're spending a few days over Christmas on a trip with his parents, it should be a good time.

Gia finally hooked up with Dexter over the weekend, while I was away. I could tell by something she'd posted on her blog. My immediate reaction was jealousy and resentment over the issues we've had around time together. I talked myself through it and moved on fairly quickly, didn't dwell.

A few things that came up via chat with her helped greatly --
1) She gave me a sexy and intimate task to complete in the next few months... sorry, no details
2) She told me that she'd like a threesome with me and Eric for her birthday later this week
3) She asked about a good time for a date for us next month. In the past, I've initiated those scheduling conversations. Moreover, she said that she'd hoped to do one this month, but that things were just too crazy (they really are, this month is packed for me as well). We had our most recent date last month, so if she was thinking about scheduling one this month, then perhaps she's coming around to the idea of once-a-month dates being the more reasonable course. That would be a huge relief.

Still, of course, I couldn't help but ask myself -- was all of that due, at least in part, to things with Dexter finally coming to fruition? Some combination of spillover NRE and guilt or obligation related to focusing on another lover when I've been here asking for more time? Again, I tried not to dwell on these questions, telling myself that it doesn't matter.

Today, she messaged me distraught and looking for comfort -- apparently things have been tense lately between her and Eric. She's been jealous of the intense focus he's been putting into his erotic connection with Helen, and frustrated with the way he's communicated about it, feeling overlooked by him. I counseled her as best I could, and then it seems they talked and made up a bit, so that was a relief.

After that mess had blown over, I confirmed with her that she had, indeed, gotten intimate with Dexter. She told me a few juicy details... nothing that would have broken his trust, but enough for me to know that she'd gotten what she wanted -- the experience of being with a man very different from Eric. It was clear that she wants it to happen again.

"Ok," I said, "my turn to be the one needing reassurance -- tell me that you want me, physically, for me... not because you feel like you owe it to me or because you know I won't be ok if you spend more time with Dexter like that than with me."

She wrote me a few paragraphs in reply, detailing how much she does want me. I thanked her, and said that I felt silly for even asking, but that it was very nice to read those things. She also brought up an interesting point, which she's touched on before but not gone into depth about -- namely, that her attraction to men has increased and her attraction to women waned to some degree since she's been off hormonal birth control. She emphasized that she still wants me, individually, but admitted that it's probably made a difference in her ability to easily express that desire. She said that she's planning on going back on at least a low dose soon, for multiple reasons, so it'll be interesting to see how/if that shifts things.
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #580  
Old 12-19-2012, 11:52 PM
SNeacail's Avatar
SNeacail SNeacail is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Near Disneyland
Posts: 1,616
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
She also brought up an interesting point, which she's touched on before but not gone into depth about -- namely, that her attraction to men has increased and her attraction to women waned to some degree since she's been off hormonal birth control. She emphasized that she still wants me, individually, but admitted that it's probably made a difference in her ability to easily express that desire. She said that she's planning on going back on at least a low dose soon, for multiple reasons, so it'll be interesting to see how/if that shifts things.
Pregnancy alone can make your sex drive wonky. It took me 18 months - 2 years for my body to settle back down, with both my boys. I think it was a little longer with my second, but that was probably because of stress and exhaustion.

Glad you were able to express yourself and get what you needed in return.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
bisexual, boundaries, mono/poly, pregnancy, secondary, unrequited, vee

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:47 AM.