Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #381  
Old 02-18-2012, 03:53 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,233
Default

Hell yeah, Nyc. *downs glass*
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #382  
Old 02-19-2012, 10:31 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,233
Default

I'm in the midst of a cold. Last night, after watching a movie with me and my roommates, Davis made me some tea and then read to me from The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman, sitting in a chair at the foot of my bed, as I rested and sipped and smiled. He does a great job on the voices.
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #383  
Old 02-26-2012, 04:35 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,233
Default

As a bit of a follow-up to some of my previous posts here on this topic, a beautiful description of 24/7 D/s found on tumblr that really resonates with me: http://safeword.tumblr.com/post/1805...ascinate-me-im
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #384  
Old 03-02-2012, 06:00 AM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,233
Default

Harry and I spent more time together last weekend than we have in a long time, though I wish it had been for a different reason.

For those who haven't been reading since the beginning, Harry is a friend and former lover who I cut things off with when Davis and I decided to start dating again. It was with the intention that we would reconnect once Davis and I were in a stable place where he felt secure enough to expand his comfort with non-monogamy beyond the woman I love and her husband. As it is, Davis and I haven't yet found that place, which I put entirely on my greater-than-expected struggle to commit.

Harry and I have stayed in touch and have hung out a few times in group settings but have stayed away from one-on-one hangouts... our friendship was VERY sexual, and it felt like a good idea to maintain some space. I missed him at first and felt like shit for brushing him off so suddenly, but we talked it over and stayed friends and it's been all good since.

Anyway! He was supposed to move back into his old house last Saturday but his spectacular bitch of an ex-wife showed up with the cops right in the middle of the move to get him to stop because even though he'd signed the deed on Friday the money wouldn't transfer to her until later in the week and the place was not technically his to live in again until then. She's wasn't still living there, she didn't tell him she had a problem with anything, this was solely her way of fucking him over as much as possible while she still could, as she's been doing ever since they split. Amazing.

Unfortunately, his new gf had an emergency and had to split and he hadn't tapped anyone else to help out with the move, so it had just been him moving his stuff carload by carload. So when he messaged me to fill me in on the crazy situation, half his stuff was in the house, half was in his old apartment, it was the early evening, he was all alone, and his lease on the apartment ended that night.

He and I had been talking earlier that week after I messaged him to wish him a happy birthday. It was the most interaction we'd had in a while, and it was very nice to reconnect. If it hadn't been for that, I don't know if he would have felt comfortable reaching out to me for help, and I'm so glad he did.

It was a LONG night but we managed to move all his stuff to his friend's garage and he found a hotel to book for the next few days. We talked a lot as we worked. It's beautiful to me that he's sad about his ex-wife being this way rather than angry. She has no reason at all to be bitter, and rather than rage at her for making his life so hard this past year when all he's wanted to do was walk away from a relationship that wasn't working, he's mainly just asked himself why she can't let go, why she would choose to lash out like this, and how he could have loved someone so fucked up for so long.

Anyway, it's all been resolved and he is now in the process of finishing the move. I'm by no means happy this happened to him, but it was kind of amazing to be able to jump in and rescue him -- nothing says "I care and I'm glad we're friends" like helping someone move all their possessions in the middle of the night.
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #385  
Old 03-02-2012, 04:21 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,235
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
I'm by no means happy this happened to him, but it was kind of amazing to be able to jump in and rescue him -- nothing says "I care and I'm glad we're friends" like helping someone move all their possessions in the middle of the night.
I think I must be watching too many novelas lately. I was hoping to read that you invited him to stay at your place and had a hawt time together!
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Reply With Quote
  #386  
Old 03-03-2012, 04:28 AM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,233
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I think I must be watching too many novelas lately. I was hoping to read that you invited him to stay at your place and had a hawt time together!
Oh man, we were soooo tiiiireed. It would have been the saddest sex ever. All floppy and blinky and yawny.
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #387  
Old 03-03-2012, 06:18 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,304
Default

Someone, somewhere is totally into tired, floppy, blinky, moving day porn! Rule 34.
Reply With Quote
  #388  
Old 03-04-2012, 08:05 AM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,233
Default

My day.

Woke up mid-morning next to Davis, in his bed. We made love, hot and intimate. He had to hurry out, he was going up to visit his parents and was running late.

Got up, put on my clothes from the day before, met two friends at a cafe for brunch. We told each other stories. One of them is about to release a cd, so we went to a nearby warehouse run by a punk collective to check out the space for a possible party. There was a bike deconstruction event going on. Another friend of ours happened by. We all went up to the punks' garden aviary to see the chickens and ducks and fed them bits of apple. I got into a conversation with some gardeners, one of them was interested in something I do at my job and I gave him some advice.

I had to rush home, as Harry had come by to grab the things that he'd had to leave with me during the move. We talked and chilled, hugged warmly, spoke of seeing each other soon.

I changed and drove around the corner to meet another friend at a bar. He'd promised to buy me a drink if I gave him some grant writing tips and advice about his new non-profit. We had a fruitful talk both about his work and about our lives and our city.

I went home and relaxed, listened to music, read, ate soup, drank wine, and lovingly cleaned and oiled my boots. Then my roommate Eddie and I picked up our friend Bo and went to the goth club. Eddie was dressed in drag, which is a big deal for someone who's recently gone through a gender transition. He looked awesome. Gia and Eric were at the club, along with a bunch of other people we know.

I've *always* felt a little awkward at the club when my lovers are there, unsure of how to interact with everyone. This time wasn't so bad in that regard, and for the most part it was downright wonderful. I danced with Gia and she squealed about how beautiful I looked, we held each other and made out a little on the dance floor. She kissed me and left a big purple lipstick mark on my cheek -- a new shade she'd gotten just for me -- and when I popped outside for some fresh air she found me and told me she'd missed me when I came back.

Eric and I hugged but mostly kept our distance on the dance floor... one time, near the end of the night, when we were already close to each other, I reached out and grabbed him and buried my head in his chest and swayed with him for a minute. Mostly I danced by myself or with other friends or with strangers.

Home now, minimal plans for tomorrow, looking forward to resting.
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #389  
Old 03-04-2012, 08:56 AM
rory's Avatar
rory rory is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Europe
Posts: 496
Default

Sounds like a long day! But in the best of ways.
__________________
Living with my partner Mya and metamour Hank. Seeing Lily.
Reply With Quote
  #390  
Old 03-13-2012, 04:26 AM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,233
Default

I was chatting with Eric online the other day and the subject of one night stands came up. He said that he's never slept with a girl other than Gia more than once. He said that it really bugs him.

"Aside from me, you mean," I said. "You and I have certainly slept together more than once!" He pointed out that we've only had sex once when it was just the two of us. It was a morning after I'd slept over, we started fooling around and Gia wasn't in the mood but said we should feel free. She went to make breakfast and he and I carried on.

I was surprised (never more than once with anyone one on one but Gia, ever, really?) and touched by how wistful he seemed about it. It also confirmed my suspicion that things had stalled out with Liza (she and her husband have been having problems).

I told him that I'd be more than happy to sleep with him again just the two of us, for the record, but that I thought it wouldn't be the best idea right now. Gia is very frustrated by how difficult it is to find time to be alone with either of her partners, so for the two of us to take time for recreational sex without her when she's so desperate for intimacy with either of us might be hurtful. He said that it might well be, and we agreed that we'd very much enjoy having a threesome again.

It made me feel odd to be in the position of saying "threesome sex is fine, dyad sex with one of you is fine, but dyad sex with the other is not." But Gia has spoken to me often lately of how frustrated she is at feeling isolated from Eric, because they don't get alone time on anything like a regular basis. It seems respectful to keep a little distance from him right now, just like I wouldn't go after her crush, Zed. In time, though... in time, I love the idea of getting Eric alone again, with her blessing.

The conversation made me look at Eric's intimate life from a new perspective. I've always thought of him as a bit of a player, and just completely uninterested in anything serious with anyone but Gia. But obviously he's not quite the player he wants to be if this frustrates him and... there are different levels of "serious". Just because he doesn't want a "relationship" that doesn't mean that he doesn't want more than he's had.

And y'know what, if he finds the warm, ongoing sexual friendship that he seems to be sad about not ever having... or hell, even a real extramarital relationship... with someone who's not me, that would be ok. There was a time not long so when I couldn't have said that last bit. But he deserves whatever wonderful interpersonal relationships he can find. I've certainly been lucky enough to have my share. How could I begrudge him the chance for the same? I think, also, that my big unrequited Thing for him has faded a great deal. I still feel *very* warmly towards him but it's no longer quite the same difficult mess. It makes it a lot easier to not be possessive.
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
bisexual, boundaries, mono/poly, pregnancy, secondary, unrequited, vee

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 05:08 PM.