Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Life stories and blogs

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #371  
Old 02-07-2012, 04:51 AM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,253
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
And more local types too! But no pressure or anything
No worries. With more than a year's worth of time to make up for, support, whether foreign or local, hardly add any pressure.

Two more days? How the fuck am I supposed to wait two more days???
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #372  
Old 02-08-2012, 08:15 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,253
Default

TMI:

I've been randomly wet often the last couple of days, and today in particular I've just been turned on all the damn time. I feel like a teenage boy! It's hard to contemplate being suave and chill when I'm like "OMFG if I don't get laid soon I will DIE." I'm gonna do my best, though. It doesn't help that I haven't been masturbating, but I find that I reach climax more easily with a partner when I've been refraining, so it seemed like the thing to do. I bought a new toy and got fresh batteries for the old one.

In one hour, I'm gonna head home and start cooking. Sausage stir fry, hard cider, peaches and dark chocolate for dessert. Candles.

I feel like I should be trying to pull back on my expectations, just in case? But I don't know how at this point. I could barely sleep last night...
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #373  
Old 02-09-2012, 03:03 AM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,253
Default

I have a big purple lipstick kiss on each cheek. They look a little like bruises. She said that I'm not allowed to wash them off until I have to go to work in the morning. She said that she didn't know how much it would excite and interest her to tell me that until she'd done it. I've taken pictures of them so I can always remember the feeling.

We talked, she told me she'd missed me, held each other, she told me that she's so grateful at the chance I've given her to explore the dominant side of herself, kissed, she told me that she's working to figure out how to fully accept the wonderful things I give her, laughed, she told me I could take off her shirt, touched, she told me I wasn't getting away, licked, loved, perfect, happy.
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.

Last edited by AnnabelMore; 02-09-2012 at 03:21 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #374  
Old 02-09-2012, 06:26 AM
Fyredancer41's Avatar
Fyredancer41 Fyredancer41 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 5
Default

Okay, I never actually post because I am a total lurker, but I have read every word of your story, and this post, it made my heart sing. Yay Annabel, yay Gia, yay love!
Reply With Quote
  #375  
Old 02-09-2012, 07:38 AM
Phy's Avatar
Phy Phy is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 610
Default

So happy for you two
__________________
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

My Blog
Reply With Quote
  #376  
Old 02-10-2012, 06:54 AM
Anneintherain's Avatar
Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 824
Default

I hadn't caught up on your blog for a week or so, and I just wanted to say I'm really happy for you! I got kind of sniffly when I read the letter you'd written to her, and was very glad to read through the last week to find out it's had a happy outcome
__________________
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Reply With Quote
  #377  
Old 02-15-2012, 09:22 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,253
Default

Thanks, guys.

We'd had a plan for a couple of weeks that Gia and Eric and Bee would come over to my place for dinner last night. I requested that we do that as a change of pace from me always going over their place and that's the date that happened to work for everyone. I invited Davis to join us, and didn't even think until afterwards that this would mean that both of my partners would be with me for Valentine's Day. I have NO interest whatsoever in the holiday, but... it was still kind of cool that it worked out that way.

I did the majority of the cooking, which was quite a task (crazy but very fun) and everyone seemed to think it came out great! My roommates joined us. Davis was a bit shy and stayed with me in the kitchen until the food was ready, rather than hanging out with everyone else in the dining room, but during the meal he conversed equally if sparsely with everyone with no particular hang-ups evident in interacting with Gia or Eric. He gave me a cute horror-themed card, even though he also has no great love for V-Day.

Davis and I are still struggling, still figuring out where to go from here, but it still made me feel great to see him and my other partner enjoying the same gathering together in an intimate, small-group setting. Even if not every individual relationship is going perfectly, I'm very happy with how our overall poly dynamic is right now.
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #378  
Old 02-15-2012, 09:59 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,253
Default

Where things are with Davis.

I keep going back and forth over the same ground. I love this guy, we get each other, I love snuggling with him, we have good sex, we've worked out a very difficult relationship dynamic (mono/poly), he's so giving, he deeply cares about me. Versus. I don't always feel like I'm "in" love with this guy, I usually don't feel excited when I think about bonding our lives together but instead feel worried, I feel like other people in my life do more to challenge me to grow and introduce me to new things, I've heard over and over that "with the right one you just know" and... I *don't* know.

Last week we had dinner together. Nice, pleasant. On the way home, little things about the way he communicates were annoying me and I snapped at him more than was warranted. He asked me where it was coming from. I laid it all out, told him that I think it comes from me feeling resentful and scared and kind of trapped at times, from feeling like maybe this relationship isn't good for me. In the parked car I cried and cried. In another person's story maybe this is where the break-up would have happened. But I couldn't do it. When I was crying it was equal parts sadness at the thought of losing him in my life, sadness at the thought of him being hurt by me leaving, and the anxious/frustrated/trapped feeling.

We went inside, it was late, we went to bed together, we made love. He told me he needs me like a plant needs water. The next day I asked him how saying something like that was supposed to *not* make me feel trapped, since plants die without water. He said he didn't mean it like that.

He said some other things that night, like how it's very hard for him to hear this stuff (this isn't the first time I've freaked out on him in a similar way), it makes him kind of sad and kind of angry, he wants to freak out sometimes too in reaction but he knows I need him to be strong and not make it worse during those times. When I hear those things I hear that he's honest and brave and scared and I wish I could give him clarity and faith. He told me that I don't need to feel trapped, that if it's not the right time we don't need to move in together this year, that it's ok. He said there have been a lot of changes in my life recently so of course I'm on edge, of course I don't want to leave my comfy living situation. It sounded to me like he was searching for excuses for my fears, ways to make it not about us as a couple but about other things.

I wish things were clearer. :/
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #379  
Old 02-17-2012, 12:03 AM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,253
Default

In better news, Davis mentioned to me that he's starting to look into the idea of therapy again! Heh, after all my obsessing over it he decides to give it a try after I've let the subject go. Sometimes you can push people all you want but they're only going to take that last step on their own...

We're also making lists of things we want to do together -- little trips, classes, places to go hiking. And we've been doing the gym thing religiously, it's been great. It seems funny to be working on moving forward in some ways when I'm so conflicted in others but it also feels good. It can't be a bad idea to aim for being healthier and more dynamic, even when things are in flux.
__________________
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote
  #380  
Old 02-17-2012, 07:09 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,017
Default

I am smiling right now as I read your last post. What popped into my head just now is that old cliche saying about enjoying the journey and not worrying about the destination. We so often talk about moving forward, moving forward, and think about where we will be when we get there, but maybe it's not about that at all, 'cause when you get there, there will be someplace else to move toward, in some aspect.

So... to the journey! >>clink glasses<<
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
bisexual, boundaries, mono/poly, pregnancy, secondary, unrequited, vee

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:26 AM.