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  #251  
Old 10-24-2011, 12:23 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
OMG. You HAVE to make a character sheet for Bee! I'm thinking, Stormageddon: Dark Lord of All.

(I hope they're Doctor Who fans! )
I tried to convince them to let him play a minor NPC... the DM could do the roleplayng and when it was time to make rolls we could put the dice in his little hand and let them fall out! But no, they were afraid he'd try to eat the dice.

They're Dr. Who fans so I imagine they'd get your reference. I'm more of a Torchwood fan.
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  #252  
Old 10-25-2011, 12:27 PM
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Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
I tried to convince them to let him play a minor NPC... the DM could do the roleplayng and when it was time to make rolls we could put the dice in his little hand and let them fall out! But no, they were afraid he'd try to eat the dice.
See, I think you just weren't creative enough with the dice.
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  #253  
Old 10-25-2011, 04:40 PM
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See, I think you just weren't creative enough with the dice.
Yes!!! Eeeeee, so cute!
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  #254  
Old 10-26-2011, 12:01 AM
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Currently treating myself to a candlelit dinner on the terrace at my favorite fancy-but-not-pretentious organic restaurant. That's what they call being your own primary.
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  #255  
Old 10-26-2011, 07:12 AM
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^*like*!
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  #256  
Old 10-26-2011, 07:47 PM
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Chatting online with Gia at work. She mentions that she wants someone to watch Bee so that she and Eric can have a date night just the two of them, which they haven't done since he was born. I say I'd be more than happy to do that, and that while I wouldn't be looking for a direct night-for-a night trade, I hope that this will be helpful in getting us to the point where she and I can have couple-type dates too. Her account goes idle, which happens all the time as she has to get up often to do stuff at work. I cannot stop quietly freaking out. I just need to know that she wants that too.

Aaaaaaahhhhhh, I hate this anxious feeling.......

...

...

Aaahh.
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Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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  #257  
Old 10-26-2011, 07:53 PM
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Freaking. Out. Hate. This.

At least I'm capable of freaking the fuck out very quietly and unnoticeably.
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  #258  
Old 10-26-2011, 09:08 PM
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Heh, I am *such* a spaz sometimes. She hopped back online and we talked more, she said that of course she wants to get back to having dates with me, and that her goal is to get to the point where on average she's having dates with Eric two times a month and dates with me once a month, with plenty of hanging out in between. Makes good sense to me.

GAHD, I want sex with her/them again SO. BAD. Not bringing it up though, it'll happen when it happens and I know that staying chill will make it happen faster whereas making her feel pressured will make it happen slower.
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  #259  
Old 10-26-2011, 10:30 PM
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Btw, lest anyone get the wrong idea and think that this is becoming some kind of exploitative setup with problematic shades of unicorn-ness, it wouldn't be just me alone with their baby, helping them get their two nights per month while I get one -- she's going to be reaching out to other friends and family for help. The fact is that I just want to spend as much time with Bee as possible, I miss him when a few days have gone by and I haven't seen him!

It's funny, I've taken to giving as much advice as possible when I see people in the New to Poly section of the board falling into the traps of unicorn hunting. My situation is so similar to theirs that it freaks me right the fuck out to see how dysfunctional it can be. It's like seeing a bizarro version off my life play out where everything is messed up... and yet, in terms of the structure itself, if our circumstances reshaped themselves such that it made sense, I'd probably happily join them in a polyfi triad and live in their home, watch their kid, do all those things that define a unicorn.

Naaaaah, who am I kidding, I'd never really wanna be exclusive, not even with them.
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Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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  #260  
Old 10-30-2011, 07:27 AM
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Davis and I are struggling. He continues to be depressed, he has trouble just getting up every day and getting motivated. He's not in a truly dark place... just in a major slump. I keep thinking to myself, maybe I should just end it, maybe this guy will never be the partner I want.

On the one hand he's sensitive, introspective, communicative, open-minded, consistent, supportive. He's utterly devoted to me. On the other hand, I worry that he's not outgoing enough to keep up with the kind of life I like to lead, he's not as dynamic and engaged in the possibilities the world had to offer and in the issues he professes to care about as I'd like to see, he doesn't put the sort of emphasis on self-care and his own well-being and stability that I think would come from a strong internal will... and as deeply as I care about him, he's not exactly moving me to any great heights of sexual revelation or ecstatic positive emotion or joyful self-discovery.

Is all that too much to ask? Is comfort and compatibility and commitment and companionship enough?

He did say yesterday, in the midst of a long conversation, that he will start looking into options for therapy... so that's a big deal.

Yesterday evening turned into a big mess. We went out to eat, he was feeling kind of anxious, I rolled with it and didn't push him and it passed. Afterwards we went bowling, a cute little date to a cheesy little BYOB place. I had all the stuff above swirling around in my head but was trying to ignore it and just focus on having a good time. And we did have a good time, we had the place almost entirely to ourselves, just drinking beers and being silly and knocking down pins.

But then he was helping me work on my form, at my request, and I began to feel stressed out, on edge, almost giddy. I wasn't sure how to react or what to say, but he could tell something was wrong. We sat down and I actually started crying a little, from the stress. He was asking me what was up and beginning to get exasperated and this made me feel much worse -- I wanted him to be understanding of my weird little breakdown the way I'd been understanding of his anxiety earlier in the evening.

We ended up going outside. I was crying, I couldn't explain why, he was upset and asking if it was about him. I pushed him away and told him that, yes, maybe it's just stressful for my partner to be depressed, maybe it's just a lot of pressure to feel like I'm the thing holding him together when I'm not even sure about our relationship to begin with.

We went back to his place and talked more, I told him that I've been having a lot of negative thoughts about us but that I haven't wanted to make any drastic decisions knowing that his depression was coloring things so much for me. We ended up making love and I spent the night. In the morning I felt very close to him and loathe to leave.

And it's those last couple of sentences that keep me holding on, when so much of me seems to be saying I should just split...
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