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  #191  
Old 09-29-2011, 01:22 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Aww, thanks Carma. I certainly wish you the same.
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The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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  #192  
Old 09-29-2011, 02:09 PM
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Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
When you said earlier that you feel a lot more laid-back, egalitarian with Davis, do you think there's potential for a power exchange there? Bedroom only or more of a lifestyle thingie? I'm just wondering if it would feel forced, if vanilla would come more naturally.
It may well not be a fit. But I think it'll be fun to give it a try, in the bedroom to start. Outside of the bedroom we could negotiate trial runs, maybe just a day here and there. Maybe we'll explode into giggles and not be able to take each other seriously. I'm not going to try to force or codify anything, but I do believe that you don't always know what's there until you explore.

Gia and I talked about the idea of introducing that dynamic actively into our relationship, but that was right before she got pregnant, and once that happened she didn't have the mental or physical energy to put into sorting out how it would work. Domming can be an intimidating role and she's never actually done it before. So, we just let it go, though I still feel the urge from time to time to, y'know... drop to my knees and profess my undying loyalty and my willingness to rub her feet, fetch things for her, etcetcetc... and I might fantasize from time to time about her putting a collar on me...

She knows how I feel, knows it's a want not a need, is fine with me expressing it in little ways when I want to, and is open to working on it more once her life is less insane and our relationship is more reconnected and stable. And I am good with that.

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Vanilla read this and sighed; "That woman is her gf and they get to spend a couple of hours together?! I would go mad."
Ugh, tell me about it. We've in no way found a good rhythm yet. Bee was born in late July and for the first month I was visiting them 2 or more times a week. But Eric was always there, of course... he took the maximum amount of paternity leave he could in prder to be there as much as possible, and Gia was housebound for a full 3 weeks. Then there was the big camping thing, and then not long after that I went on a trip, and then when I came back it was all rehearsals all the time for me. Gia went back to work early this month and now Eric has just gone back. They found a good friend who is experienced with kids and who needs lodging and happily agreed to help watch Bee during the 2 days per week they needed covered but it was a close thing there which was scary (at max I could've covered 1 day), plus their car just died... geez, it's even more crazy when I type it all out!

Since Bee is breastfed it's hard for Gia to be away from him for long, and Eric is in love with his child and wants to be with him too at every opportunity, so... when do Gia and I happen just the two of us (or three if Bee is there)? We've been stealing time in small increments for now.

Eric is working 10 hour days 4 days a week in order to have 1 day off to watch Bee, so he gets home late, and Friday is one of the days Gia doesn't work (she does a 3 day week), so I'm going to leave work a little early and hang out with her in the hours before he gets home. I would plan to stay the rest of the evening after that as well, but I'd previously promised Davis I'd join him for something later that night.

*sigh* All about the patience over here. I miss her/them like hell sometimes, but it's not like I don't understand why things are this way at the moment.
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The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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  #193  
Old 09-29-2011, 02:18 PM
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Two final thoughts...

- Dating a pregnant, married woman is hard, dating a woman who's working part-time, is married, and has an infant is harder!!

- 20 pages! Go blog go!
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The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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  #194  
Old 09-29-2011, 04:02 PM
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Wow, reading that makes me happy that we have 9 months of maternity leave and another nine to be shared, and our constitution protects every parent's right to government-subsidized childcare on demand .

Go blog!
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  #195  
Old 09-29-2011, 04:20 PM
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Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Wow, reading that makes me happy that we have 9 months of maternity leave and another nine to be shared, and our constitution protects every parent's right to government-subsidized childcare on demand .

Go blog!
Yeah, for all our talk of "family values" (whatever that means) America really s~u~c~k~s at supporting families.
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The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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  #196  
Old 09-29-2011, 08:35 PM
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Wow, reading that makes me happy that we have 9 months of maternity leave and another nine to be shared, and our constitution protects every parent's right to government-subsidized childcare on demand
I just read about the "baby boxes" of clothing, diapers, and various other useful things that the Finnish government sends to every expectant mother: Finland's Baby Boxes for Expectant Mothers: A Nation's Gift

Of course the population of Finland is 5.4 million, as compared to the US's 307 million, so it's easier to imagine this happening in a smaller country. Still, I wonder if it could work here, in some fashion.
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  #197  
Old 09-30-2011, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I just read about the "baby boxes" of clothing, diapers, and various other useful things that the Finnish government sends to every expectant mother: Finland's Baby Boxes for Expectant Mothers: A Nation's Gift

Of course the population of Finland is 5.4 million, as compared to the US's 307 million, so it's easier to imagine this happening in a smaller country. Still, I wonder if it could work here, in some fashion.
OK, 5.4 million compared to 307 million, but remember that that means that there are more US residents paying taxes, there are more people working for the government (some could be packing baby-boxes). Added to that, the USA has a higher GDP (PPP) per capita than Finland. (#7 in the World, compared to Finland's #22).

So, really, it's only a matter of getting your priorities right...

(Speaking of priorities, The Netherlands pays for home-births, as well as home help to do the washing-up, laundry, etc. for the first 2 weeks after birth, so that parents and newborn have all the time they want to get to know each other.)

p.s. Annabel: an international package of Hugs coming your way. Pick out one for Eric, another for Gia, another for Davis, another (platonic but warm) for Harry, and the little-but-sweetest one's for Bee. (The rest are for you.)
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Last edited by MrFarFromRight; 09-30-2011 at 11:21 AM.
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  #198  
Old 09-30-2011, 02:22 PM
MichelleZed MichelleZed is offline
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The US should worry about covering every child's health care costs before they worry about sending them packages of baby clothes.
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  #199  
Old 09-30-2011, 04:52 PM
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The US should worry about covering every child's health care costs before they worry about sending them packages of baby clothes.
Agreed 100%! But rather than worrying about feeding or clothing them, OR offering free health care, the US Gov't priority seems to be getting involved militarily in other countries. I was just answering NYCI's post by saying that if the will were there, it certainly wouldn't mean a strain on US resources to provide baby-boxes (and much more). The size of the country doesn't make it any more difficult.

Still, large-scale corruption (syphoning of funds / "disappearance" of goods) is a LOT easier in warfare scenarios than in baby-care or SENSIBLE health-care (there's also a lot of corruption in the present health-care system), and warfare makes a MUCH better smoke-screen for the CIA's huge-scale drug-trafficking, so I can understand why they go the road they do.

But, hey, we didn't want to get political on this thread, hmm? (I know: I started it, and I apologise.)
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If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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  #200  
Old 09-30-2011, 05:06 PM
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. . . the US Gov't priority seems to be getting involved militarily in other countries.
Other countries do expect us to be the world's police force; it isn't always something the US government wants of its own accord or by whim. Sure, we've made mistakes but we're usually defending someone because they need protection and look to the US specifically for that. It's not our top priority in terms of what we would prefer to do, but it is something our leaders feel is our duty to uphold.

Oops, this is a blog, so no more threadjacking. Sorry, Annabel!
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