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  #71  
Old 01-25-2011, 12:36 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Maca, GG and I are fluid bonded.
But for someone new....
Idk how long it will take.
We've been discussing this recently.

Maca didn't know much about how long it can take for STI's to show up as a positive.
Also-so many aren't tested for unless you ask, and we found out that the local place doesn't TELL you that they aren't testing for EVERYTHING-unless you ask either.
So people get "clean" paperwork, but it only means that they are clean for 3 things that the place tested for...

Ironically-neither of which is herpes... Ironic to me, cause I'd think people would want to know.

Anyway-This topic is really under my skin right now.
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  #72  
Old 01-25-2011, 12:44 AM
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For me it's been different with everyone I've ever been bonded with. For my husband, Wolf, it took approximately 7 months from the time we met to our first experience w/o condoms. Mind you we are high school sweethearts and were teenagers. With Wendigo, it took 3-4 years before we ever discussed being intimate and once we knew that we were going to start being intimate it was another couple of months before we were fluid bonded.
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  #73  
Old 01-25-2011, 01:54 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I actually never used condoms with either Rag or Sean. With Rag I was tested while we were apart (seven months occurred between the time we became a couple and the time we met in person) and he was a virgin. Sean was also tested before we met in person.
I guess it's an "up" of meeting long distance, you have time to get tested without even needing to do the "time without condoms" part. Of course we also didn't get any sex at all for months, so I'm not sure how much of an "up" it really is >.>.

Anyways, with a partner I met in person? I'd count 3 months since that's how long it takes before you can detect stuff, then testing of everyone (extended network) then once we have the results we're good.
Looks like I'm faster than most people here. I can't imagine using condoms for seven months, for me it's really a "casual sex" kind of thing, for someone I have sex irregularly or don't trust to use condoms with others if they sleep around.

If I had a partner I met with regularly but not often (say, a few times a year), I don't think I'd ever want to be fluid bonded with them, I'd just use condoms every time.
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  #74  
Old 01-25-2011, 03:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clairegoad View Post
I'm in the process of becoming fluid bonded with a couple. Everyone has had the testing done, but one person is avoiding getting the actual paperwork.

This has delayed the actual fluid bonding approximately one month-so far. This weekend, I found out that the delay was mainly due to this partner's opinion that the fluid bonding discussion/process went "too fast."

I'm curious. Actual experience only... not opinions.... How quickly, has this process taken... for you.. (and you and you and you..) from first meeting to fluid bonding...

This felt fast to me. I'm willing to wait. I'm learning a lot about safe sex practices... so the delay has been educational. But after this weekend's comment, I'm wondering what the average is.
So far about 3 years and still used condoms......The relationship before, was 4 years and still used condoms for me.....But L's bf was good to go w/o. Mainly, this is all due to the fact that I am not snipped....and neither was the other woman. L has had her tubes tied.
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  #75  
Old 01-25-2011, 03:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Maca, GG and I are fluid bonded.
But for someone new....
Idk how long it will take.
We've been discussing this recently.

Maca didn't know much about how long it can take for STI's to show up as a positive.
Also-so many aren't tested for unless you ask, and we found out that the local place doesn't TELL you that they aren't testing for EVERYTHING-unless you ask either.
So people get "clean" paperwork, but it only means that they are clean for 3 things that the place tested for...

Ironically-neither of which is herpes... Ironic to me, cause I'd think people would want to know.

Anyway-This topic is really under my skin right now.
"Everything" is everything the MD thinks to test.... not necessarily everything that is out there. And (hypothetically) if something new is lurking out there... there may not be test for it yet. (think AIDS in 1980 or Hep C in 1997) So just saying I want to be tested for everything .... isn't adequate. Like most things, if we are better informed, we get better information.

This is part of the issue. I found a place that tests for 8 specific infections.. I'm not seeing a specific wait time --- long enough for the antigens to show up in the blood stream. (from exposure to detection). Maybe that varies by bug.... errr.. infectious agent.

(Comprehensive 8 Test Panel
Tests included in the 8 Test Panel:
Chlamydia Nucleic Acid Amplification Test (NAA)
Gonorrhea Nucleic Acid Amplification Test (NAA)
Hepatitis B Surface Antigen
Hepatitis C Surface Antibody Test (Anti-HCV)
Herpes Simplex Virus Type I IgG Tests (HerpeSelect (R))
Herpes Simplex Virus Type II IgG Tests (HerpeSelect (R))
HIV-1 Antibody Test with Reflex to Western Blot Confirmation Syphilis
Rapid Plasma Reagin (RPR) Test with Reflex to Quantitative RPR and Confirmatory TP-PA)


Several places will do the testing for $389. Additional tests add to the cost. I ran through my family doctor, and insurance paid for a chunk of it.
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  #76  
Old 01-25-2011, 12:33 PM
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I get Hepititis B and C, as well as an HIV test every 6 months just so I can fight in MMA matches. I have to get other tests so that I can have fights with other women. LOL
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  #77  
Old 01-27-2011, 01:59 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Claire
Precisely!!!

But so many people are unaware.

I went through and made a list and gave it to Maca and GG.
It hadn't occurred to either of them that the Dr wasn't the "expert" who would test for everything.

I talked to the people at our local health nurses office, they do the testing for damn near anyone for free-but they don't test for anything except AIDS, Gonnoreah (spelling)
Clamydia

They TELL THESE KIDS and adults that they are "clean" and then those people are out screwing around-but the truth is they aren't necessarily clean.

Since I have herpes, I've done a shitload of research on it and am well aware that it's VERY VERY prevalent and easy to share.
But here these people are running around CLUELESS.

Pisses me off.

The polygroup here has had a number of "scares" within the last year that I've personally heard about from members-due to how NOT careful or educated people are. I'm not even sexually involved with ANY of them, but I hear about it.

Freaking FRUSTRATING.
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  #78  
Old 01-27-2011, 11:30 AM
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Recently at the local poly meeting, a friend made an announcement-- okay a Public Service Announcement. Apparently, some in the local poly community are giving unprotected blow jobs outside of their poly-fi/fluid bonded relationships. These are dangerous to the women giving, who can pick up an STD, and transmit it to other members of their fluid-bonded group.

Apparently, the old timers as well as the newbies are taking this risk.

Let's be careful out there...

(Re: testing for "everything") I think a large part of the issue is cost.... People want the MD to run every possible test. But the MD is running the most common tests..(unless there are symptoms...)
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  #79  
Old 01-27-2011, 11:45 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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You can also pick up STDs if you're the blowee. While HIV is really, really rarely transmitted this way, there are lots of other STDs and STIs that are transmitted through oral, and both ways. The giver (be it blowjobs or cuni) is more at risk than the receiver, but both are.

I have heard of people forsaking protection for oral, and the reasoning is usually that HIV is barely transmittable that way. Sure, but there are lots of other STDs and STIs, people, so be careful! As much as I think the taste is an integral part of a blowjob, I certainly wouldn't recommend doing it without a condom unless you're safely fluid bonded.
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  #80  
Old 01-28-2011, 02:58 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Last time I saw my lover, D (formerly known as the boytoy, but no longer, since he is more than a toy and ppl were misunderstanding here), when he arrived we were making out standing in the kitchen, naked. His penis was getting dangerously close to my vulva, so I lifted it up between our bellies and whispered, "Be careful, baby, you might make me pregnant."

A few minutes later, we were showering together before bedroom activities, and he murmured, "It would be great if you could have your tubes tied someday, so we could go at it bareback."

Funny boy! I had to tell him I could not longer get pregnant. Does he forget I am 55? lol. It was endearing. I had to re-explain we use condoms to protect against diseases. And my gf doesn't want me to get fluid bonded w D because it's her little way of asserting her primacy. D said, "That's cool," and we went safely on from there.
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