Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #61  
Old 01-12-2011, 09:59 PM
TL4everu2's Avatar
TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Clearwater, Fl.
Posts: 907
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by vodkafan View Post
It does go wrong for a very small minority of men. I know one of them. He had a previously unsuspected genetic thing. His body does not reabsorb some component what is produced inside, which can longer be ejaculated from the body. This gets infected, his own body defences attack it. He has had several severe infections over the years and still has perpetually painful swollen testicles. It ruined his marriage and wrecked his life.
Great.... Now I is skurd again!
__________________
There is a lid for every pot...Sometimes even two or three...
Reply With Quote
  #62  
Old 01-12-2011, 11:54 PM
vodkafan vodkafan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 228
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
Great.... Now I is skurd again!
Sorry
__________________
"The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times but to get up eight times"
Reply With Quote
  #63  
Old 01-20-2011, 06:14 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,252
Default Essure

Any of the ladies on the board have experience with Essure? It's a non-surgical technique where plastic coils are placed in the fallopian tubes - the coils cause scar tissue to form around them, thus sealing off the tubes. That's how it is advertised anyway. I'm considering this because 1) I don't want children, and 2) I believe hormonal birth control will mess up my health.
Reply With Quote
  #64  
Old 01-20-2011, 07:39 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,360
Default

No personal experience, but I know women who have done it and are happy with it. When comparing tubal ligation and essure, here are the arguments I've heard:

Pro essure: No surgery needed (goes through the vagina) and therefore no scars and less intrusive

against essure: takes 3 months before it works (you need to keep using birth control in the meantime) then the test to check if it worked (filling your uterus with a liquid and checking if it goes in the tubes too) is said to be painful.
I also heard a few stories of women whose tubes were too small for the procedure to be considered effective (either too tight to it wouldn't fit, or too short so not enough would fit).

I think the rates of success are similar but slightly lower for essure (that is, more women who had essure as opposed to a tubal ligation got pregnant, but by a very small margin). Essure is also more reversible than a tubal ligation.

All in all, I've pretty much only heard good things about both procedures themselves. However, it seems to take years to find someone willing to do it, so good luck if you decide to take that route!
Reply With Quote
  #65  
Old 01-20-2011, 08:13 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,252
Default Essure continued

Well, condoms have worked fine for me so far - all of my partners have partners so I certainly plan to continue using condoms. So the three month waiting period is not an issue for me.

But it took years to arrange for Essure or tubal ligation!?! Why? Were the doctors concerned about sterilizing young women who might regret it? This is disturbing to hear.
Reply With Quote
  #66  
Old 01-21-2011, 12:27 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,360
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
But it took years to arrange for Essure or tubal ligation!?! Why? Were the doctors concerned about sterilizing young women who might regret it? This is disturbing to hear.
Many, many doctors said they would only do it to a woman who was:

- married
- had kids (some doctors said 2, some doctors said 4)
- older (some doctors said 30, some said 35, some even said 40. At this point you might as well wait for menopause!)

Doctors are extremely reluctant, they keep emphasizing that it's permanent, and "what if you change your mind in a few years?". It's really annoying because having a child is permanent as well, and changing your mind in a few years has worse consequences.

Just be strong, knowledgeable about your options and confident in your choice and you'll raise your chances. But there are women who have had to lie and pretend they had children to get it done because everyone else told them they wouldn't do it. And there are women who had children who were also refused because they were too young or didn't have enough children (a mother of one was told once "what if your kid died?").

It apparently really depends on the doctor, so I would go on a forum that's about that (maybe a childfree forum, or a contraception forum, or something like that) and see if you can get an address from a doctor who will do it. As I recall people were exchanging these addresses like crazy, both addresses in Europe and North America. Some people ended up going to the next state or the next country because that was the closest that they knew would do it.

Not trying to scare you here, just be prepared, you might find someone who won't be against doing it.

Oh, I almost forgot, I seem to remember that a tubal is covered in more places than essure is.
Reply With Quote
  #67  
Old 01-24-2011, 01:30 AM
redevil's Avatar
redevil redevil is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: United States
Posts: 21
Default

This is a conversation we are currently having.

Lobster and I have 4 kids, all we had planned, and the last 2 are 14 months apart. After throwing the test at his head and yelling, we decided that after her birth he would get snipped. We also decided that should I have to have a c-section (I didn't) I would get "fixed" at the same time. He and I have never used condoms, even in high school and had several miscarriages in the process of having our brood. We are both very done with having children. Monster, however only has 1 child and was considering a second with his wife before their decision to separate. He has said that he would be snipped no problem but Lobster feels that that's a rush decision.

At this time we are a closed group, neither of them thinking of another partner, and I'm quite content with my boys. However Lobster wonders if a vasectomy would not be fair for Monster because he might later find someone and want to have more children. Neither of them is in favor of me having surgery unless it is a medical must. However due to my own medical issues and a high sensitivity to condoms, and anything latex, condoms are very difficult for me. I am looking into alternative forms of bc for me, but am very concerned about an accidental pregnancy. My in-laws will probably never know of our life because of their beliefs and explaining that would warrant a reaction close to epic proportions.

When I thought of this conversation, I never would have thought that my Lobster would be concerned that Monster was making a choice for me rather then for himself..it's a moment of overwhelming love that reminds me that we have gone down the right road!
__________________
“Love is a force that connects us to every strand of the universe, an unconditional state that characterizes human nature, a form of knowledge that is always there for us if only we can open ourselves to it”
Reply With Quote
  #68  
Old 01-24-2011, 02:05 AM
Ohiogrl's Avatar
Ohiogrl Ohiogrl is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Mid-Ohio US
Posts: 61
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
Any of the ladies on the board have experience with Essure? It's a non-surgical technique where plastic coils are placed in the fallopian tubes - the coils cause scar tissue to form around them, thus sealing off the tubes. That's how it is advertised anyway. I'm considering this because 1) I don't want children, and 2) I believe hormonal birth control will mess up my health.

Hormonal birth control messed me up big time. I ended up having several ovarian cyst rupture, two that nearly took my life. As a result of these ruptures I also got major scarring on my tubes and they got blocked. It is the most painful thing I have ever dealt with. Getting properly laid was out of the question because to deep or to hard was excruciating. I since have had the scar tissue surgically removed, and things are better, for the moment, but I simply cannot imagine getting the scar tissue on purpose! I have never even heard of this before. I cant wrap my head around it! OW!
__________________
“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”
~ Mother Teresa
Reply With Quote
  #69  
Old 01-24-2011, 10:18 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,252
Default

Oh, Ohiogrl, that sounds god-awful. I am so sorry you had to deal with that - and I am so glad you survived, and are hopefully thriving.

I suspect, but don't know, that the scarring Essure promotes is different from the traumatic scarring you endured. Something to check when I speak with a doctor.

Tonberry, thanks for the suggestion to check out childfree forums - they've been very helpful.
Reply With Quote
  #70  
Old 01-25-2011, 12:32 AM
clairegoad's Avatar
clairegoad clairegoad is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ozona, FL
Posts: 202
Default Just curious... How long from introduction to fluid bonding?

I'm in the process of becoming fluid bonded with a couple. Everyone has had the testing done, but one person is avoiding getting the actual paperwork.

This has delayed the actual fluid bonding approximately one month-so far. This weekend, I found out that the delay was mainly due to this partner's opinion that the fluid bonding discussion/process went "too fast."

I'm curious. Actual experience only... not opinions.... How quickly, has this process taken... for you.. (and you and you and you..) from first meeting to fluid bonding...

This felt fast to me. I'm willing to wait. I'm learning a lot about safe sex practices... so the delay has been educational. But after this weekend's comment, I'm wondering what the average is.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
bareback, disease prevention, fluid bonding, poly fi, poly fidelity, safe sex, safer sex, sex, unsafe sex, unsafer sex

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:48 AM.